On the Verge

I don't know why, but just now I had the feeling that I'm on the verge of something great. You know that feeling when your heart swells with some inexplicable emotion? All of a sudden, I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm going crazy with anticipation, and I have no idea what the heck is about to happen. But then again, I guess that's every moment. Every minute, every second, there's the chance that the next moment will bring something truly awesome. I'm still waiting. But sometimes, that's the best part. (:

Rusty

So I haven't been to the library since before I left for ADVENT...roughly around early July. That translates into: "I've been horribly deprived of porn for a very long time." On top of all that, when I finally find the time, I discover that they've completely demolished Porn Palace, I mean, the library! Yesterday, I dragged my parents to Noble library (Yes, NOBLE library, of all places). It took me two whole minutes to find the porn section, and get this, it was mixed in with the sci-fi and the mystery. Heathens.

Anyways, I borrow like six books. I tried to balance out the porn with Jane Eyre and a book about the last big Mafia families. (The Godfather like...my thing right now, forgive me.)


It's been a long time since I've truly devoured one of these. I discovered I was a bit rusty...

I was skimming along, and I've totally forgotten how boring porn is when it has a plot. I finally get to the first kiss scene (87 pages in. This book obviously sucks) and like...there it was, in all it's glory, "penis". I mean, wow, that's subtle. It's bluntness shocked me. (Pun intended. Hee.) I was so offended that I actually shut the book and put it down. It took me all of thirty seconds to realize that I was being totally silly. That's how long it's been! Damn! Of course, I call my sister immediately, and we proceed to have a twenty minute conversation that went along the lines of "OMG. ME TOO!"....plus a little Rubber Band Man. Don't ask.



Porn has just become so...disappointing. (Sigh)

Fanfiction in the Early Hours

A blog at 4 AM! Lovely.

I just spent the last five hours reading an EPIC P&P fanfiction. I laughed so hard I cried, and then I cried a little more just for the heck of it. So good.

I now have new expectations in love and life. :D

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day breakfast consisted of dou jiang you tiao. For those non-Chinese speakers out there, that roughly translates into "Soy milk, chinese doughnut". Trust me. It sounds infinitely more delicious in Chinese. The soymilk is hot, and you can get it either sweet or savory. The Chinese doughnuts are not sweet, but simple fried goodness. It is traditional to eat the two together, and there's even a JJ Lin song dedicated to the practice. (: But, to clarify, only my dad had this traditional breakfast. We went to Wu Bing Er Yu....or the Nutritional House. (I never understood that...how does "Five Bread Two Fish" become the Nutritional House? That's just blasphemous.) I love this place. It's right next to Hot Pot City, but hands down, has the best noodle dishes ever. All their cold noodles are good. (drool) Anyways, my Mom and I chowed down on noodles while my Dad bitterly complained about our lack of Chinese culture. Hee.

When we got home, we watched some football before my Dad decided to take an afternoon nap. Keep in mind, this is like...three hours after he woke up this morning. (Sigh) Old people. heh. I'm doing my Greek mask for Daniell (It did turn out pretty tragic...) when Samantha IMs me and asks to come over. She was under the impression that I had a new dog. I didn't disillusion here. So, Wendy, Denise, and Samantha show up at my house, take a look at my new "Dingo", before exclaiming "THAT'S SONATINA?!?" Made my day. Hahaha. We went to Yogurt Twist (Ugh. Yogurt) and then headed over to Denise's house to work on College Apps. There's got to be something wrong about that. Working on College Apps on Thanksgiving...

After that, my parents picked me up to head to my Dad's cousin's house in Palo Alto for Thanksgiving Dinner. As usual, the house was full of people...that I didn't know. hahaha. It turns out, half the people there were church people, not relatives. I spent the night eating REALLY REALLY good bread, and chilling with my parents. The food was epic. There was turkey, but it was largely overlooked because of the BLOOD RED PRIME RIB that sat right next to it. Um, yes. I come from a family where Prime Rib is the traditional Thanksgiving Day fare. Mmhmm. The entire table was just covered in different foods, from the Chinese dishes like sauteed red and yellow peppers and the sea cucumber with fish, to the more American mashed potato and cranberry sauces. Then to top it all off, there was pumpkin pie with Top-Yourself-Off whipped cream. Be still my heart.

I ended up reconnecting with my cousin...OK, not quite my cousin. She is my dad's cousin's daughter. What does that make her? You figure it out. Anyways, Heidi is the bomb. She had just returned from a two year stint teaching English in Japan. After joking with my parents about Sumo Wrestling and food, we started watching Glee on Debbie's laptop. It was the episode where Puck sings "Sweet Caroline". Guh. Hotness. hee. Needless to say, I made a new friend on Facebook. Woot!

This morning, my Dad tried to wake me up at 8. Rather courteously, in my opinion, I told him to leave me alone, it was my effing vacation, and that I would wake up when I was good and ready. Anyways, when I got up at 11 AM (Ooh. Scandalous), my parents were already heating up the leftover Hot Pot downstairs. I love Hot Pot. I will never tire of Hot Pot. So nyeh, Amy Wang.

After lunch...brunch...whatever, I snuggled back under my covers and continued reading Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen goodness! I'm glad I watched the 6 hour BBC adaptation of the book before I actually read it. The book just wouldn't have been as good if Colin Firth wasn't into lakes in my head. I've never watched the Keira Knightley version, but I've been told to a million times. I may succumb one day, but I KNOW it will never even begin to compare to the BBC version. So nyeh. Heed my advice. Watch the long version. It will bring a whole new meaning to your life.

I was reading the book, when it occurred to me that greatest desire in life is to have have someone propose to me like Fitzwilliam Darcy. Without the bitter nasty part afterwards. Just the greatest line that ever was: "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you..." Then my life would be complete. >:]

I did drag myself away from the book to go Black Friday shopping...at like 1PM. Who goes Black Friday shopping at 1 PM? My dad's excuse? "I just want to go out for a walk." (sigh) We looked for parking for like...thirty minutes. We got my Dad his birthday ice cream at Coldstone. Walked around the entire mall. And bought nothing. Absolutely nothing. (By the way, it's my Dad's birthday today. I forgot. hee.)
Then, it took another half an hour to try to navigate ourselves out of the crowded parking lot around the Great Mall. I hate Black Friday. There weren't even any great sales anyways! But still, I applaud my family for our strong will. Unemployment is doing us good. (:

Ok. I should probably go wrap my Dad's birthday present now. My sister bought him the Blu-Ray disc for Kung Fu Panda. Maybe if I give it to him now, we can watch it together. >:] Yee!

Thanksgiving Break

Four day weekend, and I'm already thinking about homework. I finished the Lysistrata script, still need to make a mask. I asked my Dad how I should make mask, and he said, "Why do you need another one?" Ouch. Asshole.

Oh! So today my Daddy's like "You know our Chinese president?" And I'm like "There is no Chinese president, Dad." He shakes his head, adamant. "Yes. His last name was Lin. I'm sure."

"..."

"His first name was Frank."

"..."

"HEE. FRANKLIN. WAHAHAHAHAHA."

(sigh) This, guys, is where I get it from. He cracked himself up for a whole minute. "That was a really lame joke, huh."

Yeah, Dad. It was. BUT I LOVED IT. HEE!



So anyways, on a more stressful note: I need to finish my college apps. Still have to do the Stanford Supplement. D: Those extra short essays are a pain in the ass. Then, I have to spruce up my letter of recommendation from my piano teacher. She emails me her letter with strict instructions to "Add stuff and make it compliment [me] better." Oh, Lisa. What would I do without you and your electronic signature? Which reminds me that I have to learn how to write a resume. What the heck am I going to write on my music resume? Guh. Stress.


FML.

Faux Thursday

Faux Thursday is drawing to a close, but somehow it feels like vacation has already started. I took four tests today - Physics, Calc BC, Gov, and Physio. The best thing about Physics is that the tests always take two days. Gives me an entire night to think about the problems that I couldn't figure out in class. Calc was just completely...ridonkulous. I knew the capital of Delaware and the location of Helsinki...but Missouri and Katmandu? WTF. D: The Gov essay was all memory, no analysis. And once again, the Physio tactile box raped me in the ass. (sigh)

I just want to play Sims 3 until I die.

Mixed Prospects

Today, my father tells me that he and my mother will be unemployed come January. Then he laughed and said "But that's good for your college application right?" Wow. Thanks, Dad.

Late Night Randomness

Saw Anita's. It's 12:14 AM. What the heck.

Appearance:

I am 5’4 or shorter.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different colour.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I’ve had braces.
I wear glasses/contacts.
I’d get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

Family/Home Life:
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I’ve lost a child.

Embarrassment:
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.

Traveling:
I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day. (Well...been in the car as it was driven..)
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Spain.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve been to France.

Experiences:
I’ve been lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten Sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.

Relationships:
I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m available.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve been divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Honesty/Crime:
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol:
I’ve consumed alcohol.
I’ve smoked a cigarette.
I‘ve smoked pot.
I regularly drink.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I’ve been addicted to an illegal drug

Ok. That was less fun then I thought it would be. Guess that means my brain needs some sleep. Night!

Deevolution

Lately, I've had the niggling feeling that I was de-evolving.

I don't know if I can blame it all on Senioritis. For example, I spent the whole day today watching TV. I watched one episode of The Big Bang Theory, two episodes of The Colbert Report, one episode of Bones, one episode of NCIS: Los Angeles, and then three fourths of Glee. I know I have Calc homework, I can't just bring myself to do it. Something about all those damn lns and trigonometric crap on paper makes me want to off myself. Publicly.

I can't even focus on my college applications. I should be done by now, but I keep on staring at the supplements and wondering why they don't just magically fill themselves. My muse is suffocating. Too much TV, not enough thought.

Yesterday, I read The Apology by Plato. It was a rather dry read, but it made me think a lot. I've always needed to remind myself to be humble. Socrates, though somewhat sarcastic, is right in saying that the wisest man is one who acknowledges that he is not wise. I mean, there is so much out there we have yet to learn. How can anyone possibly know anything? Intelligence is not a measurement of knowledge. It's the ability to use the knowledge you acquire. Application over theory. That's what I need.

Nah. What I really need is inspiration. My electric guitar lies cold in the corner. My acoustic is propped, hollow, on the bookshelf. My room is a mess. I can't go a day without getting frustrated about something. It's a culmination of Physics, Physiology, Calculus, life...I mean, just how much is school supposed to mean to me? At first I think school is too much of a priority in my life, and now I'm blowing off homework to watch Glee. There's a balance. I used to know where it lies.

My patience nowadays is really thin. Honestly, I'm tired of school. I'm so eager to graduate, escape, get away from it all. Something about school just ticks me off. I feel like I'm not being challenged enough, like I'm not challenging myself. When people talk, I manage to tune them out in a manner of seconds. I don't do it intentionally. I'm just so...bored. I'm annoyed. I'm angry. I'm depressed.

Aren't those the normal stages?

The philosophical question of the day: "What is the meaning/purpose of life?"

I still say the purpose of life is to seek knowledge and entertainment. We spend the first quarter of our lives getting book-smart, the next quarter getting family-smart, and the rest getting world-smart. But in the course of all this learning, what happens when we get bored? When we can't find a reason to keep on living, keep on learning? That's when life loses its purpose and people escape.



I want start over again.

Piss and Moan

Life is frustrating. Sometimes, everything just falls into place, like the force of gravity is pushing with you and not on you. Other times, things are just so confusing that you just want to scream...and curse. Right now, it's more like the latter.

So, I've already pissed and moaned about my Physics class. Today, I heard a rumor that Mr. Briber stays at school until 8PM studying Calculus. That just makes me feel really bad...and uncharitable. It's like we don't even appreciate his efforts. I want to do the right thing, if only I knew what it was. How can I tell him that we're not learning, or even understanding the sample problems on the board? I think on Monday, a group of us will politely request that he start lecturing instead of simply throwing us to the wolves. He's a good, nice guy....just writes semi-illegibly and doesn't really know Calculus yet. I hope we can help each other. We need to cut him some slack, but we don't need to suffer in the process.

Then there's club drama. I don't know what clubs I want to do. Now that Simply Help is gone, there is a huge gaping hole in my life. I've tried to fill it with Yuva, but it's "simply" not the same. ): Sometimes I feel like I have no direction where Yuva is going, that I have no idea how I ended up so involved in all of it, and that I wish I didn't take that step. I already made a commitment, but I can't help but wonder what would happen if I were free. Recently, I discovered that Joy Anes is the president of the Love Ignited Christian Club. They meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesdays, they have guest speakers. Thursdays, they have praise and worship. I really really want to go check it out. Apparently, a lot of teachers on our campus are Christians and intend to be guest speakers at the meetings. There's so much out there I have to learn, so much that I am ignorant of...

I had a really great conversation with Joy and Thuy about Christianity, the Bible, and Jesus that day. It made me really reconsider myself as a Christian. I know I could do so much to help out, but instead I find myself holding back. What should I do? I can't shirk previous obligations, but it wasn't my responsibility in the first place. Now I find myself in a lovely mess.


And then there's college apps. Well, the art supplement is killing me. Who knew that recording a ten-minute sample of piano takes hours and hours of aggravation, screaming, and homicidal rage? Nothing is more frustrating then playing and playing and playing, only to make a mistake at the last moment.

That's life.

Freaking Out

It's 10 PM on a Sunday night, and I am freaking out. The mandala project for AP Gov is due tomorrow, but I haven't been able to get in touch with my friend all weekend. D: Now I don't know whether or not she even knows it's due! Horror! Is it wrong of me to hope she doesn't come to school tomorrow so we can say "Oh, she has it. Can we turn it in tomorrow then?" We could totally present tomorrow, display-less, except she also is in possession of one-half of the words. I really don't see how this situation is going to play out in our advantage.

I'm just praying and praying right now that this all works out.

Quick Update

It's Thursday night, and I just finished having the crap massaged out of me by my Dad. I woke up this morning with a pulled muscle in my neck. Hurts like the dickens. So my Dad rubbed it out (hurt like hell) and then put Salonpas on it. Now it burns. And smells. :(

Well, anyways, on the dark side, there is a Calculus mid-term tomorrow. We've put it off since Tuesday, but I don't feel anymore prepared. ;___; Shell method? What's that? Iwas reviewing it earlier, and I realized that I completely forgot that you integrate it parallel to your axis of rotation. O.o That sounded really nerdy.

Still have some fem lit crit to do. Essay test tomorrow in Daniell...in addition to an epic Lab Exam in Elwell's. I need to start taking Physio seriously, instead of approaching it as the "Baby version of AP Biology". I remember how pissed Steven used to be over the differences, so I have to stay on my toes! Elwell is a tricky turd when it comes to his tests. >:[

On the bright side, tomorrow is Friday! Community service on Saturday, but my morning is completely free! You know what that means, right? COLLEGE APPLICATIONS!!! Ok, I tried to make that sound way more exciting than it really is. On the bright side, I'm done with my UC personal statement....just a billion private school supplements to do now. ): I've read so many personal statements that I'm all personal statemented out. I love reading and editing other people's work, but by the end, everything becomes "blah blah blah". I'll be writing my own essay, and I'll stop, read over what I wrote, and delete entire paragraphs of blah at a time. Disgusting. Anyways, I'm gradually getting back into school mode, despite the Physics C drama. I need to step up my game if I want to be ready for that AP test. Heelllloooo Youtube!

Mortality

I guess I'm one of those people who don't fear death. It has nothing to do with courage, and all to do with ignorance, arrogance, and denial. I'm 16 years young, 17 in a week. What do I have to worry about death for? Death seems so far away, so obscure, so intangible. It's almost as incomprehensible as Heaven and Hell. We know it exists, but we fail to see it's connection to our life at this one moment in time. Death has always been something for the old and senile, the sickly, the gangbangers out in Oakland. Death would never strike in my neighborhood, let alone in my family. I am impervious to death. My youthful skin repels Death like Gandalf fights Balrogs. "You shall not pass, bitch!!"

Death is something you never want to come knocking. Something you never want T-Boning you at a four-way stop, running you down as you cross the street without looking. Death is something that only happens to idiots and martyrs, and honestly, who's to say there's a difference. But Death is something you have to come to terms with, something you have to embrace as a fact of life. It's the last period at the end of the last paragraph on the last page of the book of life. (In my case, my thirteen page auto-biography.) It's final. It's fatal. It's the threshold to a new life.

My Grandma is lying in the emergency room today. Well, tonight, as it is. My grandfather found her this morning sleeping on the couch. After waking her up, he noticed that her movements were a little uncoordinated. After helping her onto the couch, she slid off. He fed her some chicken soup, and upon asking her how it tasted, she had already forgotten that she had drank it. She tried to place something in the refrigerator, but the refrigerator shelf just wouldn't stay still. My grandfather decided that my grandmother should take a nap.

My grandfather then called my Dad. Nothing serious, he said. When you asked her where her dentures were, she just moved her mouth noiselessly, he joked.

She'll be fine. She fought the Communists.

My Dad immediately tells my grandfather to go get my grandmother. He can't, grandfather replies, she went out for a meeting. This little old woman, who had woken up from her two hour nap with no memory of what had transpired that morning, decided to get up, go downstairs, and attend a meeting. God bless her.

My Dad rushes back to San Jose from his office in Fremont to pick my grandparents up from the senior home. They drive to the hospital, only to discover that my grandfather, in his rush, had forgotten all of my grandmother's documentation at home. Dad is pissed. Time is lost. Maybe thirty minutes later, they find themselves back in the emergency room.

Doctors say that she may have suffered from a mild stroke. Coincidentally, I had learned about strokes today in Physio. Drooping side of the body, difficulty walking/talking, confusion, headache, fainting. My grandmother is only three for six. 80% of strokes are caused by blood clots in the brain. I have come to understand that these are detected through CT scans. My grandmother's is scheduled for tomorrow. My medical knowledge is limited, but I know that doctors can administer a clot buster within three hours of the stroke. However, she exhibits almost no symptoms now, if not for the slight memory lapse. My grandmother is a hemophiliac, her blood shouldn't clot easily. I want a concrete reason for why this happened. I don't want theories.

My grandmother is a hale and hearty old woman. She carried the entire ping pong table up three flights of stairs during a flood back in Taiwan. She grabbed a man's balls to stop him from thrashing my grandfather. She dances the ribbon dance a capella. Nothing can keep her down. I have faith.

I guess it's just weird to see my grandma in the hospital. Not that I got to see her. I spent two hours waiting in front of the Silicon Valley Hospital because only my grandfather and my Dad had visitor passes. I want to know how she is. I want to see for myself her condition. I want to feel the strength in her hands and see the spirit in her eyes. Usually it's my grandfather lying in the hospital, telling us that he's not afraid to die. My grandmother never leaving his side, sleeping on the hospital cot. Now the roles are reversed, but the cast is ill-fitted. There are no hospital beds available for Grandma, so she's still lying in the emergency room. There's no place for grandpa to sleep, so he's back home. Alone, for the first time in years. Is this where time takes us?

I don't fear death. I fear loneliness. I fear isolation.

I'm not a rock. I'm not an island. I am a human being with a soul that craves the emotional balm of human relationships. I see my grandpa lying in bed, alone, on the sixth floor of the senior home. No karoake tonight. One bed occupied, one lies empty. The lights are on, he can't sleep.

The sounds of downtown San Jose keep him up, the silence in his bedroom is deafening.

Emo Rut

Has anyone else ever felt that no matter how happy you are in life, there will be a time in the distant future when you will find yourself back in the Emo Rut? (Fondly shortened to ER)

It's as if the Emo Rut is pleasantly situated in the Valley between the Hugging Hills and Merry Mountain. OK. That was just an excuse to squeeze in some disgusting alliteration.

I have been more happy than I have been in a long time. It's been a combination of things really. A reunion with ADVENT that I thought was never going to happen. The Baptism. Just really getting in touch with the person God wants me to be instead of the person I want to be. But no matter how hard I work at it, there is always a bit of a lull that leaves me feeling disappointed. As if the huge ball of anger and hate that I've been slowly chipping away at left a vaccuum that leaves my insides feeling chilly and empty. I still get angry, I still get irritated. It's not always easy to tamp down on my emotions. But I'm not perfect. I do my best. I get by.

Maybe it's because I'm on my period. It's the best excuse. I'm easily irritated by the little things, overly emotional over the nonexistent. A friend says or does the wrong thing, and immediately, I can feel myself judging and assessing their character. When I'm like this, I find it's better to just distance myself a little bit from people. It's better to move them into the safety zone and prevent the inevitable hurt feelings.

I've been struggling with something of late, and I really don't see a solution in sight. I've been praying about it a lot, asking for guidance and wisdom. I thought the best thing to do was forget about it, but it seems that my subconscious is particularly unforgiving. Even in my dreams, it bothers me. I keep on trying to convince myself that if I immerse myself in college apps and television, it'll resolve itself. Frustrating. Irrational. Why can't I have the emotional capacity of Bones. ): But then again, she had Seeley Booth.

I want one.

(sigh)

H

Paranoid

It occurred to me today, as I was googling appendicitis symptoms, that I might be the slightest bit paranoid. It's been slowly gaining over time, but one of my grandfather's more annoying quirks has finally caught up to me.

Damn it.

See, the math adds up.

Months ago, when I felt chest pains, I was convinced that I had a deadly heart condition (arhythmia, a hole in my heart, heart disease, impending heart attack) and I was going to die. Soon. I still feel those chest pains, and I am still alive...obviously. However, my thoughts have evolved. I no longer have a heart disease. I have lung cancer.

I had food poisoning last weekend, or at least I tell myself I had food poisoning. All I know is that I spent all Saturday through Monday spewing out liquids (from both ends, thank you very much). But then after experiencing abdominal pains today...I have changed my mind. Now I have appendicitis. I'm almost positive.

Well, so far, I will refrain from calling all my long lost relatives in China and informing them of the bad news. I don't quite want to be grandpa yet.

The Morning Of

OK. It's the morning of my baptism.


Second thoughts? None.


I'm still feeling a little bit nervous as to how its going to go. I'm hoping that nothing will be awkward as we bring the people who mean the most to us, but are virtual strangers to each other, together to celebrate our "coming of age" of sorts. It was looking a bit cloudy before, but the sun came out about five minutes ago. I know that God provides, so I'm putting my faith in Him and bracing myself for a day that's going to run devastatingly smoothly.

We stayed up until 3 AM last night, or should I say, yesterday morning. Turns out, the "something that came up" was Daniel and Nick's big surprise! They came to our door at two in the morning, and asked us to help them "bring something in." OK. That's just suspicious. They never even let us carry our own baggage...and now they're asking for help? Hmm...

We get to the car, and BOOM! Professor Hsieh and Anna are there waiting! SURPRISE!

Best surprise ever. Let me explain(probably, again to some people): Professor Hsieh's family was our "host family" in Chang Hua. They let twenty something of us invade their house, fed us, nursed us in our ill health, and prayed for us nonstop during our week stay there. Last year, Professory Hsieh and his wife prayed for every single teacher on the night before their altar call. As they prayed for me, they told me thing about myself that I never told anyone, things that I never even realized about myself. I remember bawling my eyes out, but feeling so much better after it was all over. It was as if they had unlocked something inside of me that I couldn't unlock myself, as if they had freed me from something that I had been in denial of for a long time.

This year, they prayed for us again. However, as most of us were sick and tired, the prayers were volunteer based and not mandatory. That night, our team stayed up until around 12 working on our skit. I thought, screw it, and laid down to sleep. My sister turned to me and said "Abby. I think if you don't get prayed for, you will regret it." And I knew she was right. I ran downstairs, praying that they were still there...well, praying. I got to the first floor just as the person in front of me was finished being prayed for.

This prayer was no less powerful than the one before. I bawled my eyes out quite unattractively. When they had finished praying for me, and I had wiped away the tears, boogers, saliva, whatever, Professor Hsieh turned to me and said "I think you should think about getting baptized. If you believe that the Lord God is your Father who lives in Heaven, then you should not be ashamed to call him your Father."

I had been thinking about baptism for a long time. This was probably the push I needed to make the final leap.

Professor Hsieh and his family have played a large part in the development of my faith. I cannot think of anyone else that deserves more to be there today. Well, besides God. (: But he's always there. Considering all the drama with invitations and such in the casa de Wang, I really think this is God making us think twice. We should be proud that people want to take part in our baptism. We should be proud to share our faith. We may be doubtful, but God will provide.


This is a big step. haha. The biggest, perhaps, besides actually believing. This is like the moment in a relationship when you decide to "go steady". Hmm...or maybe more like marriage. Today, I am making a commitment to God. :) I'm excited!

Writing Block

I'm in my senior year of high school. In a few months, I'll have to start submitting my college applications. Can you believe it? Me in College?

There's only one problem.

I've lost my ability to write.

Surprisingly enough, this happens to me quite often. Usually, I just have to wait it out, be patient until something inspiring comes along and nurses my muse back to life. But could this have come at a worse time? It's partly my fault. OK, it's all my fault. I haven't done any reading all summer, neglected to blog about anything worthwhile, breezed my way through summer essays, played Blockles until my eyes fell out... Maybe there could have been a bit more studying in there. Maybe.

I haven't written anything good since last year. My essay for Daniell was postively atrocious. I got a 40 out of 50 on my essay for Abel. But both times, I felt nothing as I was writing. I was writing because they told me to, squeezing blood and tears out of a dry sponge. I feel the garrote of formal writing tightening around my neck as I lay helpless and uninspired. I enjoy writing. I've always enjoyed writing. But writing quickly becomes torture when I'm sitting for hours in front of a blank word document, writing and re-writing the thesis statement of an essay I have no opinion about; when I'm squeezing each sentence out and hoping to God that when I double-space, it'll look like a real essay; or when I think to myself "fuck it" and start playing Blockles again. What has school done to me to reduce me to this? What is life without the joy writing brings?

Can you imagine a world where all books read like school text? Where instead of Harry Potter lining the bookshelves, we find "Firsthand America"? We cannot let school cheapen us! Pointless drabble must live on!


So anyways. I'm going to start using my blogs as a rehearsing studio. I need to find that delicate balance between my colloquial and formal writing. I have a personality problem, but I must be able to mask the "problem" part in my writing. This might be a little painful.

Thank God for chocolate.

Writer's Block

I just finished a 40-minute analysis essay on Dover Beach by Matthew Arnolds.

Bite me.


It's been an entire summer since I last wrote anything worth reading. Cranking out this essay was like trying to squeeze Elmer's glue out of a container that had already been dried shut. Like clenching and clenching but getting nothing more than a prairie dog. Oh, the pain.

I don't know how much longer it will be before my muse returns. Formal writing has never been my forte.

I need to start reading again. ):

2 AM

Ok, that's totally the title of a song. I swear it is.

So yes, it is 2 AM, 2:24 AM to be exact, and I am wide awake. I was tired as hell around 11ish, but once that big hand went past 12:00, I was hit by my second wind. I wish this kind of thing would happen to me when I'm trying to exercise.

I should be working on my AP Government paper right now on sexual offenders, but somehow, thinking about such things at this ungodly hour seems very unappealing. Nonetheless, I have one more page to go, and nothing's gonna stop me now! (Queen - Don't Stop Me Now: Go listen to it.)

I just had a nice long heart to heart chat with my sister. Well, actually, I verbal diarrhea-ed all over her. It's always nice to talk about things out loud, it helps me to organize my thoughts. They've been jumbled of late, I haven't really needed to pull them together and organize them. I think its time to defragment this brain of mine in preparation for school re-entry. 4 more AP classes to go, and off to college for me!

I still haven't seriously started looking at college apps. I'm not even sure what major I want to go into. One thing I know for sure is, I can't wait for college.

ADVENT is still weighing very heavily on my mind. OK, that's not the right way to word it, makes it sound too much like a burden. I've been suffering from a bad case of ADVENT nostalgia for a long time now, and like last year, it seems that nothing will cure me until next summer.

Another important note, I am being baptized soon! Yay! It's something that I have been thinking about for a long time now. I've always been afraid of taking such a large leap, of making such a binding commitment. But this ADVENT trip, I've learned that there is no reason to be ashamed of my religion. God is God, and it's time I publicly announced that I recognize him as my Father. It seems that making the decision to get baptized is much easier than actually getting/organizing a baptism. We are struggling to find a date and a location that is convenient for all parties involved. Amy and I are willing to go as simply as possible. A hose in the backyard would suffice. This event has been a long time in coming, and I just want it done!

The guest list is still a little iffy. One part of me wants this to be a very private ceremony, with only perhaps, five people present. Another part of me wants to share it with the world, shout it from the rooftops! I understand that my Dad is very proud that we finally decided to take the flying leap, but does he really need to go through the phonebook and tell everybody? Sheesh. That Daddy of mine...

So anyways, I'm just praying that this whole thing works out, with the relatives coming over and whatnot. (Oh horror, I just used the word "whatnot".) We really wanted to invite Pastor Chang for dinner, but with relatives involved, things just might get a little messy. Whatever the result, I'm sure it's going to be a hell of a ride.

Yeehaw!

Epic Fail

So I failed my driving test today. Hee. Made two critical driving errors. (Two automatic fails) Poor Bob the Proctor. He almost had a heart attack during the first one. Well, my next test will be in September. And the test after that probably sometime in October. What a great birthday present that would be. A driver's license.

I can't say I'm not pissed. But it's not Bob the Proctor's fault. I was mentally prepared to fail, but it still irks me. It's irksome. D: Driving scares the hell out of me, but I know that once I master it, it will be worth it. As of the moment, I can't decide if I'm more pissed or more disappointed. Gosh, I wanted to punch something. But, rationale prevailed and I did not break my hand(s) on anything concrete. Instead, I clutched a body pillow and sobbed my eyes out. Sadness. I had watermelon to comfort me though. (:

I've gone through many close calls in the past. Panel, which I really should not have passed. Blegh. That's the freshest wound on my ego right now. Well, here's a new scar. I can't say I'm traumatized for life, but I'm a little turned off driving right now. It just doesn't came naturally to me, this driving. Steering a big metal box at breakneck speeds next to other big metal boxes. Thank god for airbags.

I discovered another major fear in my life. (Not failure. I already knew about that one.) I think, I am very afraid of going insane. I don't know why, but my family knows a lot of insane people. Like, lock up in an asylum insane. What if I go crazy one day? The scary part is, I won't even know it... I don't want to end up like House! D:

So yeah. A little mopey. A little emo. Food makes it worse. Comfort even more so. I don't want to be comforted. I want to feel the consequences of my actions. Or else I'm going to think I can get away with it the next time.

School's starting soon. More things I can fail at. EPIC FAIL. (sigh)

Kids on Bart

This morning, my sister and I woke up at the buttcrack of dawn to catch the BART up to Berkeley. The ride there was totally uneventful, besides the cool African people conversing in...African. O.o (Sorry, totally ignorant comment there.) There weren't even any scary lesbians hitting on me this time! Look, times are improving!

We got to Berkeley and diddled a bit before heading over to Jamba Juice. We got this nifty coupon from BendyDan (I would post it up but it expires tomorrow), and we used it to treat Jeremiah and Nehemiah to some Jamba. :D Cutest phone conversation ever. I love how Jeremiah treats every question like it is life-altering.

"What do you want at Jamba, Jeremiah?"
"Hmmm.....mmm....hmm.."
"Take your time, Jeremiah."
"Ha ha. Umm..."

HAHAHA. I love Jeremiah.

Then when I ask Nehemiah what he wants, he's just...

"Umm...just...umm... (after a full moment of deliberation) Just get me whatever you think is good."

Got them a Caribbean Passion (J) and Mango A-Go-Go (N). Hoped they liked it. ><

Got the pictures! Yay! 31.4 Gigs of ADVENT goodness. I spent over an hour just looking through them. Got blinded by half-naked boys along the way. Andrew's pictures should come with a disclaimer. (sigh)

Anyways, went to Barney's with the Kims and Alice. The guacamole burger was to die for. We had curly fries and deep fried vegetables too. I haven't had that much ranch since...since middle school. I never understood people who dipped their pizza into their ranch. Ugh. Or their hot cheetos into cream cheese for that matter. Ew.

Went back to the Kim/Alice/Mindy residence for some Wii. I had to sit through Amy screeching on Rainbow Road. (Insert Mario Kart Love Song here.) "I HAAAATE THIS GAAAAME." Nazgul!

So anyway, to the main point of the post. On our way back to Fremont, the cutest little girl and her mom got on. She looked like she just got back from an art class, masterpieces firmly nestled in paint-spattered arms. I saw her big, blue eyes and I was overcome with a Daniel-like desire to throw her over my shoulder and run away. (Funny, I thought my tastes ran more toward the Asian. Oh well, discover new things everyday.)

"Honey, grab onto the pole."

The kid reaches, misses, headbutts Mommy in the stomach. Ouch. Watching this, a nice man offers his seat to the little girl, who takes it without even a word of thanks. Of course, being an Asian, I wrinkled my nose at this. (Very judgmental, I know.) Later, this same man offers her a bag of Peanut M&Ms. This time, the gratitude was profuse.

"Honey, what do you say?"
"THAAAAANK YOUUUUU. This is my lucky day!"

Cute. She turns to her Mom.

"Mommy, can I share?"

Cuter. The little girl proceeds to pass out peanut M&Ms to her fellow passengers on BART. Then her Mom goes, "Honey, can I have one?"

"No."

Cutest.

As passengers disembark, the girl is soon left alone with her mother. Now there are only two M&Ms in the bag. Again, "Honey, can I have one?"

The girl fishes around in the bag.

"This one is for me." She eats it.

She fishes in the bag again. Mom reaches her hand out.

"This one is for me too." Eat.

At this point, I think the girl is hilarious, but exceedingly ill-bred. (Yes. Again, very judgmental.) I also reflected that the mother must be very lax in her disciplining of this child. Who lets their three year old child devour an entire bag of M&Ms? Bad. Very bad.

The little girl starts crawling all over the BART, asking her Mom all sorts of questions. I noticed that the Mom was not really paying attention, making short, semi-interested answers while scrolling through her iTouch. This kind of annoyed me. If I had a kid, he/she would amuse the heck out of me. I'd probably spend every waking moment playing with my little Uruk-hai. I'd answer every question and sit twitching in wait for the next. But here this woman was, blessed with the cutest angel in the world (For now. My kids are going to be freakin' beautiful.) , and she is more preoccupied with Twitter.

But get this. The child starts knocking on the BART window, looking for some place to throw her trash (the M&M wrapper).

"Mommy, how come this window don't open?" [My Uruk-hais will have perfect diction and syntax.]

The woman looks up, puts the iTouch away, and says:

"Well, honey. There are a lot of reasons, but here are the three best reasons I can think of: 1.) This way, people won't fall out. 2.) If the windows could open, there would be a lot of wind. 3.) It would be very loud."

I was floored. First of all, those were good reasons. Second, they were presented in a perfectly logical way, as if to someone older than a three year old. I loved it. Most people would have said "Because the train was built like that. Now, sit down."

Then!


"Now, honey, you have to be more quiet. There are people sleeping on the BART."
The kid looks around, sees people sleeping, and whispers, "Sorry."

CUTE! I want one. D:

This taught me to reserve judgment. Ha. I probably shouldn't judge people that I don't know. God's wake-up call of the day. (" You is being a biznatch.") And it made me really want kids. ): Eight years is too long to wait! haha. (I can hear Amy's face right now.)

Also! I discovered that I talk to myself in my head. Well, ok, I always knew I talked to myself, but for the first time, I noticed how retarded the conversations are.

(Imagination is running wild.)
"And he'll love me a lot a lot. And we'll have the cutest kids..."
"Ok, Abby. Now you're just being fanciful."
"Fanciful? Really? Who says fanciful?"
" You do, apparently."
"God, I need to stop reading Wuthering Heights."

And that's just a small glimpse into the insanity that is Abby Wang. I have to wade through that cesspool everyday.

Anyways, kids. I love.

Return to Sender

This is a love letter I never intended to write.
Words are inadequate to describe the magnitude of my emotions.
As I make my intentions toward you known,
I hope you will forgive any awkward sentiments that may blossom between us.
Love has always been a fruit ripest when bittersweet.



Sucks.

Week 2: Hua Lien Memories

It seems that no matter how meticulously I go over my memories, I'm always bound to forget something. Please fill in the blanks!

Week Two: Hua Lian

1.) New skit: After losing Jonathon and adding on Team B, we needed to revamp our skit. We had Ben play Jonathon's role and it was PRICELESS. HA! Sweatiest toilet I've ever seen. (: And the crying was epic. It was like acting and football practice all rolled into one. There were other role changes. I got a new masseuse. Fired Daniel and got Phil. Phil, hands down, was the best masseuse ever. He didn't even try to kill me or anything. Except I had Creeper in the back, muttering "Penetrate harder. Oh yeah, penetrate the muscles." It made keeping the Coach face on very difficult. Oh! Cathy and Nick, with their "I'm so scared!" and the "OOOH!! (does crazy hand movements)" Or Cathy and her shopping cart. "Angry shopper, angry shopper!"

2.) The Dentist: It's kind of sad how we all called her the dentist. Her children were awesome, though. One kept me forever entertained on the piano. The other scared the hell out of me with her scary stories. (shudder) Oh, the little ones animal impressions were hilarious. (Scared the hell out of Yummy though.) We had some fun at her house. Watching really bad models on TV. Watching the grocery store dance routine. (Thus inspiring "Angry shopper, angry shopper" and "Pay in cash, pay in cash", and finally "Put it in the car, put it in the car") Oh! The wall that sprung up toward the end and cockblocked us from the showers. Her birthday celebration where Cathy and Jenny broke out their violin duet. Playing Chopsticks with the kid (switching off to take showers).

3.) Freak Show: Well, we all knew we were freaks, we just didn't know the extent of our freakishness. Jojo can do the eyebrow wave. Yummy can do the slingshot peace sign. And (sigh) I, I have El Torro. Well, the boys weren't exactly normal either. I missed it, but apparently they had some sort of eating contest between John and Phil. Phil the twig beat John the angry basketball player. How the hell does that work?

4.) Creeper Eric: Nothing like waking up to find some strange boy on your back saying "Penetrate those muscles. Penetrate." It actually hurt like the bejeesus. I didn't realize you were such a Creeper until this week. When you scared the hell out of Fish. Ha! I think she scared you far worse than you scared her. Your face of shame. D: Your scary aim with the rubber band. (Or the repeat snapping thing you showed us during Training) Your pale zombieness. I thought you were going to keel over at any second. Ooh! The six kids hanging off your limbs at any one moment. Wahahaha! This was a good week for you, Eric!

5.) Fish: That was epic. I don't think any of us ever thought that Da Jing Gang would save our lives. When she came into the classroom, I thought all my students were going to implode. They're never this unified and silent when I'm teaching! The two bodyguards. Ha! Priceless. By the end, I think there were at least five teachers dancing Da Jing Gang. (Andrew came in randomly from only God knows where.) Man, Fish cracks me up. When she offered a ride home to Jackie and Jackie refused. There were bodyguards involved there too, I think if I remember correctly.

6.) Birth of a Queen: I think this was when we started calling you Queen. (Or at least when I started calling you The Queen.) Your little first graders fanning you without being asked to (or so you say). I still remember you choosing your class, screaming "Ooh! The midgets! I want the midgets!" hahahaha. You used to read the Tim letter to us in the classroom. I didn't find out about the true identity of Tim until Yummy told me this week. Good times. (: I think this week also brought the birth of the Alliance. (Allies?) Amy didn't know about Tim until the day the boys revealed the truth to you. Your reaction has been forever immortalized by film. Sorry we didn't wake up when you guys left. D: Nobody woke us up! We totally slept though it. Boo.

7.) Rubber Band wars and Man Niu: We shot rubber bands during Training too, but it kind of died out during Changhwa. I think Man Niu was the catalyst, but do you remember that epic CS style rubber band shoot out at Yi Chang Guo Zhong? hahahaha. WE were like "AAAAAHHH!" (shootshootshoot), or in my case, (missmissYESSSSSS ow!). Man Niu is the powerful elixir of life. I remember the first time I bought it, already convinced of its power because of this commercial I watched last year. All it took was my highness to convince Daniel and Eric of its potency. Then we moved on to Man Niu 2. (Not as good, by the way. The grape aftertaste was disgusting.) Oh! And the coach telling us that it was bad for us while we tried to convince him that it was only for our own good.

8.) Scary kids: How could I leave this till so near the end? I remember the first day back, as we all sat around the table in silence/horror, breaking out into "OH MY GOD. I MISS MY CHANGHWA KIDS." hahaha. When we thought of the kids, we thought of "AAAAHHH!" (Some screaming on both the kids' and our part.) In the morning, when we walked to school, the kids would run out of the schoolyard screaming "AMY LAO SHIIII!" and Amy would calmly move out of the way so they could attack Eric. Ha! I had this one kid named Andy who was such a ho. D: He cut me out of our class picture and pasted me in a separate corner. I was devastated. Oh! And I got to use my Teacher voice when I had to take him out for a tokkatokka (talk). Ray's kid pissing the hell out of him. John's demonic kid who drew scary photos and rejected the altar call. Having the kids exhaust us so entirely that we just set them free in the schoolyard and said "Run until you're tired.". Haha. I had mine doing baton races. hee. Amy and Cathy punishing their class with Chubby Bunny...with OREOS. Hateful.

9.) Food: This week was bian dang all around. We got bian dangs for lunch, bian dangs for dinner. Remember the leftover bowl that we made to put the stuff we didn't want in? (I hope it wasn't the bowl with the cockroach in it.) Remember the first meal we ate here? At that stupid 99 place that made us wait for like two hours before any food came on the table? They had a really nice dog though...BUT STILL! Food is more important! I liked that one dinner that we walked to. The sizzling plates looked amazing. Oh! And the sushi place we went to after the Debriefing. Expensive, but pretty. I almost forgot! The meal that the middle school prepared for us. The cockroach dong gua cha that tasted suspiciously delicious. Hmm...

10.) Debriefing: Pastor Chang and his spiritual shrimp. The supposedly volunteer-based testimony. Daniel and his freakish notes: "The first week was epic." Then we went arcading. Apparently, Phil and John are very good at baseball. Daniel and Amy are good at pitching. The game Daniel wanted to play was broken...but we got to play it during and after the third week. (; Bowling! I BEAT DANIEL! (That's all that matters.) Guh. Getting killed by Daniel in that one Mallet game. D: By a lot. On film. I think my ego died in that one moment. After arcading, we went to the Golden Clam place. I was cracking up during the video because it was so boring. (These clams won the Golden Glam award! (Me on the side: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Golden clam award, snort.) OH! David and I leading the others in a Pirates of the Caribbean inspired attack on Daniel. Daniel running around the edge of the pool so he wouldn't be dragged in. Rolling up our pants inappropriately high. Ben and the BMW sticker on his head. Later losing it to The Bus that Ate Trash. (It ate my Man Niu bottle too. D:) Getting rejected by the noodle store we went to last year. Going to the sushi place but ending up at Family Mart eating gross ice cream. Way better debriefing than last year. Let's do this again!

11.) Tour Bus: I totally forgot about the tour bus we took to Hua lien. That was hilarious! I can't believe we did devos on the bus. I can't even remember what the prompt was. We were like praying, praying, reading the Bible, TRANSFORMERS 2! ("GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Seriously the only quote I remember.) Josiah swooning over Megan Fox. The really crappy quality of the video as it kept on stopping and going, stopping and going. The really scary girl that became a machine with a really long tongue. :X Shi Mu mysteriously getting off, later explained away by motion sickness. Too bad we didn't karoake. That would have been epic. OOH! Daniel's sunfish impression. We'll never let him live it down. This trip also provided us with a lot of blackmail material in the sleeping pictures department. muahaha.

12.) Yummy and Cats: When the two girls were mewing at the other table, scaring the bejeesus out of Yummy. The day afterwards, when we were walking to school, saw a cat, and formed a wall. (" Quick guys, get Yummy out of here. Go, Go, Go!") We were like Yummy's Secret Service. haha.

13.) James's visit: His first visit, he walked in when I was still sleeping. (Very unattractively, might I add. Thanks Amy.) His second visit (I think), we threw Chinese Chess pieces at each other. (Real mature.) I believe it was David's idea. But Andrew had the best aim. And he was teamed up with Daniel...against me and Amy. REAL fair guys. D: I'm not even sure we got all the pieces back. haha.

14.) Singing on Sunday: Deep Deep went down fine. Then we got to One Way. Epic instrumentals. Except they were so epic they drowned out our tranny voices. So basically, all the church got was David on the microphone. hahahaha. Their tribal music was great though! ("Something somethingsomethingsomething HALLELUJAH!!")

15.) Abusing the Church as a Home: We did all kinds of crap on the stage at night. Mock funerals. (My favorite was Shi Mu's touching speech during Daniel's.) Jamming sessions, with people on instruments we pretended to know how to play...heh. Bang on the stage. Amy and I sleeping under the piano/onstage because of the ants in our room. (Stupid popcorn chicken.) Shi Mu sleeping on the pews with us. haha. The stand-up comic night with Club Bounce and the Lollipop Man. That stage was the hub of good fun. ): I miss it.

16.) Ramen: Andrew and Nick, Ramen partners. Eating Ramen for breakfast to piss Cathy off. Eating Ramen at Night when bian dangs didn't suffice. Ramen was a lifesaver.

17.) Hitting Andrew with balls: Oh man, that was really good. We HAD a video...but DANIEL HAS IT. >:[

18.) Afternoon naps: Watching people sleep all over the place at the middle school. People on tables, people in chairs, people twitching onstage...

19.) Left or Right. Nuff' said. It's right.

20.) Devos: I think this is the first week Josiah and Andrew led a group. Then it was a Russian Roulette of "Avoid Daniel. Avoid serious discussion. NOOOOO!" Without Pastor Chang, we stayed up real late and woke up...a little...late too. haha. No wake up songs this week because the boys and girls were separated by an entire floor.

Random Things/Quotes:
"Only a little boy named David. Just a little sling." -Jojo (Or however the hell it went)
"ShiMu: Daniel was always a good boy.
Amy: LIES!"
Daniel the cockroach king
"-twitchtwitch-" -Daniel
The tuna sandwhich story.
Blessing the ball. And later other things.
Poking Daniel while waiting to bowl.
Getting shaved ice

ADVENT Memories

It's time again to reminisce about ADVENT. Prepare yourselves for a long one, folks.


Where to begin? Well, as in most cases, I think the beginning would be best. The very beginning. Remember Advent training guys? Yeah, the three torturous days that took place before we were thrown into the gladiator arena? Didn't you wish you were back there after the kids sank their teeth in and latched on? Thank God for the point system. haha

Orientation Memories:

1.) I roomed with Amy, Jojo, Tammy, and Snoopy Aiyi. Good times! Freaking Jojo and standing me up for shaving parties. ): Amy and I had to taste the Taiwanese dirt for ourselves, so we slept on the floor while everyone else slept on mattresses. Let me just say, those Advent pillows are pretty darn comfortable.

2.) Jojo's Blonde moments - "You mean cooking chefs?", "Oh cool, they have a swimming pool!", "Well, I'm 25 哲!" I think these decreased in number after the first week. I was actually kind of sad about that. ):

3.) The Elevator - The boys ran down the stairs to press the button on every floor to suprise the girls in the elevator. Stupid boys. I hope you guys were really tired after running down those stairs. By the third time the door opened, we were like "FREAKING BOYS." And how many times to Team A and Team B race upstairs to get home before the other? -sigh- Team rivalry. In the end, we merged into one anyways. Everyone wins.

4.) Daniel's Meetings/Laptop - I must admit, I did not have a nosebleed. (Sorry, Jesus) I was just stalling so I could shower before the meeting. :X And what a meeting! Daniel with his scary secretarial skills. Then, Amy's face when he called on her to lead a prayer group was priceless. Oh, the horror. Classic. Then my secret inadequate prayer skills were unveiled in a neverending round of popcorn prayer. -shudder- Who invents these things?

5.) Rally Prep - Andrew spazzing during Pastor Chang's lame joke. (Can anyone remember what it was?) Andrew spazzing during the "OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, Hey!" thing. Andrew spazzing in general.

6.) Classroom Prep - Torturing the people who went ahead of us. Nick = 怪叔叔. Preparing to abuse Daniel, only to be shut down by the Tap System. Guh, I was so disappointed. I was cockblocked by a tap to the shoulder. D:

7.) The Buddy System - We all had a buddy to prevent losing people while squeezing onto the automatic MRT system. 20 seconds goes by quickly when you have to load 10+ people and their luggage. Daniel being ditched by his 6 person buddy group.

8.) Registration - This should really be number one, but I'm too lazy to switch up my numbers. Amy and I sat at the registration desk, trying to persuade people to take large T-shirts because there were too many. Then, we watched as Pastor Chang slowly (slooooowly) checked people in. The best part was Yummy's (Yoomy) face when Pastor Chang was like "YUMMY! That's the best name on this list! We've been waiting for you, Yummy!" Wahahaha!

9.) Animal farm - "I'm not playing", "Man.", "Mary!", "Macho Man." I really hate this game.

10.) King of Hearts - "It's OK! We don't need Jesus!" Nick Ho disappearing and getting Daniel as a replacement. Awkward hugs and fake smiles. Laughing at the scary Korean guy. Laughing at Samuel Jackson Jesus. Doing it over and over again.


I think it's really interesting to go back and see how we interacted when we didn't really know each other. Team A and Team B were totally separated. I never really got to know you guys until end of second week and, more intimately, the third week. You guys turned out to be all right...but Team A is still better. >:]


Week One: Changhwa Memories

Changhwa is perhaps as good as it gets. Eileen Aiyi and her husband are the most loving hosts anyone could ever ask for. Their kids (Anna, Joshua, and...umm...one more. heh.)are so cute! Their house is basically a humongous Stairmaster 5000.

1.) Getting Sick - All I remember is taking a nap and waking up in hell. I felt like total crap the moment my eyes opened. The hosts managed to persuade us to go to the doctors. Amy got like 5 pills and I got 3. heh. I remember walking through the doors of the doctor and feeling miraculously better. Everyone else was hacking and dying while I was like "Wheeee!" Ray and I tried to convince the others that we were injected with a happy drug. I paid for it the next day. I woke up and almost toppled off the stairs as I was heading down for the shower. As it turned out, I had a fever. If 臭豆腐教練seemed crazier than normal, it's because she was on crack! haha. It was a hardcore day. >:] I had to surrender by the afternoon, but I'm rather proud of myself for making it through the morning class. Thanks Amy and Daniel for splitting my class. (: SIN!

2.) Getting prayed for - Their prayer is always so powerful. I always end up bawling over something or another. I feel a little silly afterwards, but it's always like a gigantic weight has been lifted off my chest. Unlike last year, the prayer this year was volunteer-based. As I was laying down to sleep, Amy turns to me and says "I think you should go. Or else you're going to regret it for a long time." Best advice ever. Thanks, Amers.

3.) Point System - At the all-girl school, Amy and I came up with the point system for our male teachers. I could see the teachers become meat in the girls' eyes. A little intimidating, very demeaning. I did not get any lesbian action at all. ): There I am, cracking jokes for my life, and I get nothing. Daniel just speaks into the microphone and, all of a sudden, girls are swooning left and right. Then he busts out his guitar. (Boop boopboop!) Show-off. Humph.

4.) Leaving Members Behind - We forgot Ben and Austin at the afternoon school. Best part was, Austin's mom didn't even notice. >< We were all eating dinner when Eileen Ai-yi got a very...alarming phone call. hahaha.

5.) Wake-up Call - I don't know how they did it, but Jackie and Jojo got all the boys to sing for us. Barbie Girl, Aladdin, Jolo's solo. My personal favorite was I Want It That Way. (: When the opening notes wafted through our door and into our hearts, I think I cried a little.

6.) Advent of Tim. 'Nuff said.

7.) King of Hearts - Tranny Buddha. Good times

8.) Skit - This was the week we actually had to make up the skit. ): It was tough staying on track (or awake, in Ray and Jonathon's case), but we managed. John the Bad Boy was born! Wahahaha. I must admit, Team B's skit could almost compare with ours. >:]

9.) Food - The Changhwa church prepared bountiful feasts for our meals. It looked so good. Mmm. My favorite was the ginger chicken soup. I could really go for some right now. Oh! John was eating noodles and I caught him mid-gobble. "Woah. O.o" "Mmph." "Aaaand that is how you make someone feel awkward." haha

Quotes:
"I'll bend my body." -Daniel
"Cathy, you are my one true love. When I see your eye..." -Tim


OK. I am le tired. And that was only the first week. Feel free to add stuff I may have forgotten.

Taiwan

I've been back for a couple days now, but it seems like I never left. (By back, I mean Taipei, by left, I mean Advent.) We've been meeting up with Advent people almost daily ever since coming back. I think leaving on Sunday is going to be really tough. It seems that the only place we're able to meet together is Taiwan. I hate the feeling good-byes bring.

It's been an epic three weeks. This blog is really not going to be able to bring it justice. I'll write more in depth about Taiwan when I return to America, but this is just going to be dedicated to the last week or so.

After the mission trip, Pastor Chang took us to Green Island as a treat for enduring three weeks of torture/teaching savage children. It. Was. Awesome. The island was pretty, the water was blue, blah blah. MOTORCYCLES! Two people to a motorcycle, cruising all the way around the island while screaming "WHEEEEEE!" the whole time. Beautiful.

Oh! And I had my very first vehicular accident. (: Our motorcycle surrendered to the force of gravity on an uphill climb, so Josiah and I found ourselves lying on the pavement and still a little confused a week later. Luckily, I had changed motorcycles with Amy before taking off. If it had been her in the fall, I would have been pissed. (Maybe even worried a little...) Amy would have been traumatized for life but seeing as it is me, let's just say that when I got up my first thought was "hehe. cool.". Through this small tumble, which could really have been a lot worse, I learned that Amy loves me. (:

We went snorkeling too, but the power ranger experience is still a little too traumatizing for me to elaborate. The boys had tremendous fun crotching or "aruba"ing each other with their life jackets while I spent the entire trip getting water out of my nose. Freaking Daniel spit water in my face. D: (With his snorkel. But still, it's the principle of the thing.) Ray kept on grabbing my foot. Andrew molested me. (Nick my ass.)

In Taipei, we've been hitting the nightmarket almost nightly. Screw it, let's be honest, nightly. By the end, it seems that all nightmarkets are the same. I've lost interest in the nightmarket. I'm quickly losing interest in Taiwan. On the other hand, I haven't lost interest in Advent. I look forward to returning next year. And I'm devastated that we have to wait another year to see each other again.

That's the worst part. Waiting.

Insomnia

Insomnia - Craig David

It's around 3:30 AM right now, and I'm wide awake. I've been playing Blockles since 1:30 AM.

I tried to go to sleep around 12:30, but I spent at least half an hour tossing and turning, playing Letterblox and Blockles in my head. I'll be the first to admit that I have a problem. A serious addiction. I'm going on a three week sabbatical starting tomorrow, and I hope that by the time I come back, I will be fully recovered.

I've got that stomach-wrenching feeling where you're too excited to sleep. I'm leaving on a plane tomorrow. I'm going to Taiwan. I don't need to sleep now. I can sleep on the plane.

That's three weeks without internet. Without my cell phone. Without Blockles and Letterblox. It seems horrifying right now, but I know from experience that by the time I get there, I won't even remember these things exist.

I'm going to be spending the next three weeks spreading the Gospel in Taiwan through English classes. This is my second year with ADVENT, and I'm really glad I came back (for now). I can't wait to see what new friends I make and what potential my future students will have. I need to get out of this stifling American society anyhow.

I just watched an episode of True Blood. That's what has been screwing me up lately. For the past three days, I've been dreaming about murder, death, and vampires. While these dreams would make excellent fodder for a movie, it's not exactly pleasant to wake up, convinced that you've burned someone alive. It took me a whole day to shake off that dream. I need to get away from vampires, romance, gore, and hot men. I hope to return to America in four weeks time with a clean slate, ready for my Senior year.

When Junior year ended, I was exhausted. I hated school. I wanted out. I must have ditched at least a week worth of school by the end. I haven't cut myself any slack in my courses for next year, (suicidal, I know), so I really need a break to re-prepare myself for academics.

I need some sleep. But I have the whole day ahead of me. I had originally planned to watch Mental and True Blood, then start from Season One of NCIS and catch up, but it turns out that Mental has been rescheduled to Friday. Talk about ruining my day. D: I guess it's just going to be NCIS tomorrow. I'm going to be twitchy and hyped until the moment my butt is parked in the airplane seat.

I think I may still be suffering the effects of the coffee I had today during happy hour. Coffee is a diuretic, a fact I didn't register until I was praying for mercy on a 45-minute BART ride. Thank God for the Daily Californian and its crossword. I don't think I would have made it otherwise.

Well, hanging on till tomorrow!

Back to Blockling!

Serious Thinking in an Otherwise Pointless Day

Am I the only person who capitalizes my titles properly? Or even bother to come up with a title?


So, I just made a call to CityTeam to check up on their status. It looks like Simply Help at IHS is coming to an end after all. I remain optimistic. We can always collect clothes and send them to the more unfortunate families in our community. Simply Help - reaching out to the glocal community.

A few weeks ago, my Dad gave me some devastating news. The warehouse that we had been using up to that point was going to be taken back by the landlords. The warehouse had been loaned to us by a brother in church, and the loss of his warehouse is more bad news for him than us. In these tough economic times (cliche, I know), his lighting business could no longer afford to rent such a big space. I pray for the future of his company, and I thank him wholeheartedly for his compassion, generosity, and time. It's people like him that make Simply Help, or charity in general, possible.

We had two choices. 1.) Find another warehouse. 2.) Donate what we have to another local charity.

Time was of the essence here. We had only until the beginning of July until the warehouse had to be emptied out. I appreciate the help of everyone who has been trying to find an alternative warehouse, but in the end, we had to take the second option. I did some research online, trying to find a suitable organization that would best spread Simply Help goodwill in our community. I sent out some emails, I prayed, and God answered.

The day after the emails went out, Corrie Gaumnitz from CityTeam sent me a reply. Yes. They were interested. They wanted to know how many boxes we had, how many bags. I sent back my response, reminding them that we were hardpressed for time and low on resources.


Then I waited. And waited.


It seemed like things had fallen through. A week, and no response from CityTeam. I was a little disappointed and I lost hope. What was I going to do with all those clothes? With little more than a week before the deadline, I felt like I hadn't done enough. I waited too long to get in contact with local charities. I held out too long for a response from CityTeam. Things weren't going to work out, and it was largely my fault.

This afternoon, I trudged through my usual routine. Eat. Internet. True Blood. Porn. Repeat.

All of a sudden, I felt this sudden urge to call CityTeam. It just popped into my head like a lightbulb rigged to a Jack-in-a-Box on crack. I ignored it at first. I didn't want to be a stalker. But the niggling turned into guilt. After all, it was the least I could do.

To make a long story short, I called. Apparently, Corrie had forwarded our case to family services and they were closed for the past few days.

-------

I'm going to fast forward in time because just now (literally), Family Services has called me and informed me that they can pick up the clothes anytime in the upcoming three days!!

Praise Jesus! I did a little victory dance after hanging up the phone.

YAAAAAAY!!!



So even though Simply Help wasn't able to export clothes to El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Honduras this time, we still managed to help those in need. That's what it's all about, ain't it?

The main branch in Southern California is still exporting clothes to Third World Countries that include, but are not limited to, El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Honduras. (Visit them at simplyhelp.org!) As for us at Independence High School, we can rest easy knowing that we've done our part, and that we're always part of something bigger.

Simply Help, FTW!

Summer Vacation

AP classes are over.

I have all the time in the world.

To do anything I want.

...

And I am watching True Blood.

Hours and hours of True Blood.

...

And I love it.





Watch True Blood. All the porn you're missing in Twilight.

Literally.

Crazy Things I Do...

Today, I got home around 12:45 PM. Exhausted. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open through two presentations in English class. To make a hopeless situation worse, both groups decided to turn the lights off. Sleep was calling to me, but I resisted the urge. (Unlike Sarah. heh.)

After I got home, I watched the first two episodes of Mental. No, not The Mentalist (Which is also a great show), but Mental, a new show on FOX. Dr. Gallagher is hot. And British. Now we have two blue-eyes British hotties who play unconventional doctors on FOX. I'm starting to really like this channel, despite its conservative biases. heh.

Then, around 2PM, I conk out. (I always stay awake for television.) My mom calls me, wakes me up, and the following conversation ensued:


Mom: Are your friends over?
Me: Mm...yes.
Mom: What are they doing?
Me: They're downstairs...studying...or playing..or something.
Mom: Are you sleeping?
Me: Mm..yes.
Mom: How long have they been over?
Me: Mm...thirty minutes?
Mom: (pause) How did they get in?
Me: Mm....(long pause)
Mom: Well?
Me: I don't know...I'm thinking.

Then my Mom hangs up.


Now, I'm lying in bed. I get up and I actually walk over to the balcony and look a bit.

"Hmm. Where are my friends?"

Then I (sleep)walk downstairs and actually go to the door to double check. By this time, I'm starting to wake up. Then I think, "Wait. Today's Friday. My friends are coming on Saturday."

"Hmm.." And I go back to sleep.

Then, at 5PM my Mom wakes me up to yell at me for lying to her. With my sister cracking up in the back going "I told you so! No one ever listen!" I only remember about half of what I supposedly said, I had to piece together the conversation with my Mom's help. haha.

Just another prime example of the crazy things I do when I'm asleep. I'll tell you guys more about other stupid things I've done later. Now I'm watching Ghost Stories with my sister. (:

Seventies

It is now 3AM, Sunday morning, and my entire group is still over at my house. We have six laptops set up on my dining room table. Despite the exhaustion, morale is high.

For dinner tonight, we went to Las Vegas. I didn't know food could taste so good. It was slightly pricey, at $7 a person (on average), but the carne asada fries was a transcendental experience. All but Samantha and Khoi ordered the fries, and both polished off their meals with relish. Sarah, KC, and I had leftovers, but Gilbert plowed through that thing like me through romance novels. Those poor little fries never had a chance.

On Friday night, we went to Pho Kim Long for dinner. I finally discovered that you can order just soup and noodles. O. M. G. Usually, I leave all the meat and junk and complain about how big the damn bowl is. Now I can just enjoy my noodles and my MSG soup. Mmm. But man! Khoi finished his second dinner after having three bowls of rice at my house. Gilbert ordered a LARGE. You can put babies in there! I imagine that after eating that entire bowl, Gilbert acquired an innate insight into how it feels to be pregnant.

We're editing videos right now. Obviously, I am distracted. We've been distracted all night. Sarah dropped first. Just -conk- no more Sarah. Then it was me. I managed to lead three others astray as I began taking miscellaneous quizzes on Facebook. Damn those quizzes! Then I went to go pee and Gilbert went a little crazy with lack of sleep. His random giggles offset another epiphany of hilarity. We pulled together for another ten minutes before someone (-cough- probably me -cough-) suggested Blockles. Oh wait! No! It was Gilbert! He was still on crack from the play-dough in the toilet! Freaking Gilbert. I had to pull out the plunger. Gross.

While editing the videos, we discovered that the sound to a folder of clips was off. That sucked. A lot. Especially because we had already erased the original files to make way for new clips. Then we had to persuade Khoi to redo the sound, and apparently Khoi is synchonizationally challenged. (Yeah. I totally made up that word.) Well, guess who's fired from the drums? We were left hustling offbeat, discoing to another song, etc. etc. etc. Woe is us.

Apparently, Gilbert can't spell skateboard. "Scateboard." Oh Gibbles. The things we learn when thrown together and bulshitting for our lives. We discovered a newfound affinity from cream cheese and Ritz. We advanced to Medium and Hard on Guitar Hero World Tour. We experienced new cultures such as Las Vegas, Chipotle, Orangetree, Tapioca Express, Quickly's, all the goodness. Maybe tomorrow we will finally got to Khoi's Jade Garden. It better be good. I'd hate for it to be disappointing after the mountain that masqueraded as carne asada fries. God. Heaven on a plate. A religous experience through my tastebuds. I believe in miracles, it was a sexy thing.

We have one more scene to film tomorrow morning. And another commercial. We've been playing around with a green screen, and the results are pretty exciting. The editing process is long and strenuous, especially as we discover all the background noise we never noticed before. Just how many airplanes fly over San Jose and Fremont anyhow? Then we have the scene where Khoi runs into the shot carrying a laptop. We're bloody brilliant, we are. I just hope no one notices how the time of day changes with each scene. They start the chase in the mid-afternoon, but all of a sudden, they are running around outside at night. Subtle. I know.

Well, now it's 3:13AM, but I still see no sleep in sight. Maybe we'll take shifts. Hearing ourselves on the many different computers around us is an alien feeling, but I hope all this torture amounts to a big...fat...A. Then I can enjoy my summer in peace.

Busy...Busy...Dreadfully Busy

You've no idea what I have to do...

It's been a while since I blogged last.

"April 30 to be exact." -Connie Choi

It's funny how I always blog when I'm incredibly busy. During the last couple weeks, before the teachers decided to spring Final Projects on us, I could spend entire afternoons playing Guitar Hero. But that's entirely it. There were better things I had time to do than blog. Jesus, I mean, blogging takes brain power. Now that there are things that I should be doing, but I'd rather not be doing, NOW is the perfect time to blog.

The SEVENTIES group is going to pwn. Well actually, I don't think our video is that great because our script is God-awful. (Good God, I wonder who wrote that shit. -coughcough-) but the acting is hilarious and morale is high. We already have our menu planned out for the rest of the week. Gilbert's La Vic's then Khoi's Jade Garden. If we have extra time, we could always go to Chipotle again. I'm thankful that I got such a great Decades group. We clash so well. We're just different enough to create a harmony that works. Thank God.

Then, the Spring Project is going to bite me in the ass. I haven't even really started on it yet. We've delegated all the work already...but everyone has yet to actually put a pen to paper. I mean, it's easy to say "Write a script by Friday", but when it comes down to the wee hours of Friday morning, when you wake up in a cold sweat realizing what it is exactly you've forgotten to do, one's philosophy quickly becomes FML. But, there's hope. English is not until 6 period. If I could write an entire scene for Decades in one period, I can definitely write an entire script for English in 5. Keep my fingers crossed, hope to die, pray to Jesus. Amen.

I'm pretty sick of school. And pretty is putting it nicely. I've worked my ass off all year, and I think it's due time for a nice, drawn out break. Then I remember all the summer homework I have yet to do, all the college apps waiting to be filled out, guh. I don't even want to talk about this any--.


Moving on.


AP testing is over. Thank Jesus. The last time I blogged, I was still pretending to cram for them. Here are my projected scores based on the level of FML I was feeling after coming out of the test.

APChinese: 5
APUSH: 5
APEng: 4
APCalc: 4
APChem:3


Chinese got pretty bad near the end. In a hilarious way. (Doesn't it always?) I think I ended up recording something along the lines of "Calligraphy is important to Chinese culture because it preserves the art of traditional writing. Also, my grandma does it....(twenty second pause)...and it's hanging in my living room. (pause) It's pretty. (pause) I hope one day she teaches me how to write calligraphy... (three seconds of cracking up) because it is important for us to preserve Chinese culture by passing it down to future generations. (Cut-off mid-cackle.)"

I'm not even joking. The people around me were laughing. Well, at least I got off better than my friend.

"The most important part of calligraphy is the paper. And the pen." -Carolin

hehehe. Oh, the BS continues.

Yesterday, I was driving to school when I heard this mysterious "whump. whump." sound. I was like "WTF is that?". When I pulled up to the red light, I made eye contact with the driver behind me via rear view mirror and he made motioning movements toward the side of my car. By this time, I figured something was stuck in my wheel, so I pull over to the side of the road and make my Dad get out and check it out. He goes over to the other side, squats next to the wheel, but sees nothing. Then he looks up. Pauses. Grimly opens my door. And hands me a pair of pants.

Now, I know you're wondering. "What the hell? Where the heck did that come from?" But get this, my car is usually parked next to the clothing line. I must have snagged the pants in my car door when I pulled out. I'm just glad it wasn't a bra or something. Actually, no. That would have been hilarious. hee. The wind resistance would have created a nice dragchute effect. Hee.

So yeah, I should be doing my petit composition right now. But I think I'm going to play a little Guitar Hero III. Just for old times sake.

Toodles!

Reasons Why You Should Not Date a Man

1. He wears tighter pants than you. Always a bad sign. First of all, where is the room for his junk? That's right. Now, ladies, we don't want to get jipped in that department now do we? Mmmmhmm. And what if those tight pants that he poooouuuured himself into (and by the looks of it, spilled some), show that he has skinnier legs than you? How can you live with that injustice for the rest of your life? Can you really date a man who has prettier legs than you? I don't think so.

2. He owns a diary. In all our grossly exaggerated chickflicks, there is always the sensitive and caring boy who doesn't seem to know that he's devastatingly attractive. We all know the type. But ladies, please. Do you want to talk to a guy about his feelings? Nuh-uh. I don't need to remind you that it's all about us. Always. He just needs to shut up and listen. So when he owns a diary, it's just the first warning sign that should turn you around before you find yourself sitting on your couch Saturday nights, spoon-feeding him Decadent Double Chocolate Brownie ice cream while he sobs into your shoulder about how they cancelled Gossip Girls.

3. He knows more about Twilight than you do. First of all, he is a pansy. "Oh, baby. I'll be your Edward. Let me bite you and suck your blood. Mmm." Did I turn anybody on there? Yeah. That's right. NO. Overprotective alpha male who jumps from tree to tree? Only sexy in concept. Chances are, the boy is only pretending to be into it to get into your pants (or shall I say, jugular vein?). If not, then you are in serious danger of being murdered by a psychotic serial killer. Really? "Your blood sings me sweet lullabies." Gross.

4. He hates Lord of the Rings. He's gay. Gay, gay, gay. What straight, hetero, brawny man could ever hate Lord of the Rings? Epic battles, bro codes, and bromance in three hour doses. If he says no to Lego, you tell him to GTFO.

5. He has an unhealthy obsession with his penis. You know what I'm talking about. He feels the need to write penis everywhere. He draws penises on other people. And you notice, when you draws them, they're BIG. Think he's compensating for something? Mmmmmhmm. His noodle doodles may seem merely immature and innocuous, but they're really cries for help. Until he's happy with the equipment (or lack thereof) God's given him, you better steer clear. You may find yourself saying "Does size really matter?" for the rest of your life.

6. He makes gay jokes. One or two is fine. Heck, three or four is great too. But if "gay" is every other word coming out of his mouth, I'd say there are some insecurity issues lurking not far under the surface. "Huh..huh..that's gay." , "Get off me you homo." Afraid of enjoying life a little too much?

7. He wears socks with sandals. I'm sorry. These people need to be taken out and executed.

8. He doesn't own a television. What is this man doing with his life? Honestly, where'd you find this guy? Under a rock? In Amish paradise? Throw him BACK. What are you going to do Friday nights together. Go out? God forbid! Think about it. No cuddling in front of the TV, imagining he's McDreamy while he imagines you're Cameron. No sighing as you stroke his unmangled leg and wish wistfully that his eyes were electric blue. What kind of relationship is that? Unless you convert him, he's always going to be transmitting analog while you only receive digital. Sad.

9. He doesn't look good in a suit. James Bond. Barney Stinson. Robert Downey Jr. What do these men have in common besides being the Sex Gods of our society? They look good in suits. It's about the cut. It's about the shoulders. It's about the attitude. When I see some guys in suits, I want to cry. It's like Mommy threw the dumpling in the water and left them in there for too long. Get it tailored, for God's sake. Suits are God's gift to man (and woman), and you've just DESECRATED them. So yes. If he doesn't look good in a suit, refer him to the nearest tailor and tell him to try again.

10. His idea of a pick up line is to rub your stomach and say "Soon this will be filled with my seed."

It's Over! (:E

So I now reserve the right to make this face ---> [:E (That's right, crowned. >:])

My family is never going to let me live this down. D:

But I'm glad you guys talked me into going. What girl in her right mind doesn't want an excuse to feel pretty for a day? (And only a day. Any more than a day, and I think I would have gone insane, or broke my ankle, or both.) Thanks to all the girls who made me pretty. I know it was a colossal task. (; Hopefully, the pictures are enough to satisfy everyone for the rest of my life.

Prom was fun. I liked watching everyone go crazy on the dance floor. Inhibition. Borderline sodomy. Awesomeness. I feel like I got to know a lot of people better because we bonded over the craziness of the night. It's like getting drunk with friends. The more embarrassing things you do, the closer you feel after you've done it. It's the naughty bond.

Apparently, I am attracted to older boys that I look up to. It's scary how true that is. I guess my infatuation for Robert Downey Jr. is nothing more than physical attraction. :/ No Iron babies for Abby. -sigh- Well, I guess I can always move to Britain and start my life long mission of finding hot, available, intelligent, British-accented, Taiwanese doctors. (I thought I'd start small.)

ADVENT in a few months. I'm really excited about it. At the same time, I guess I'm a little scared that it won't be the same as it was last year. Or, that over this past year of missing it, I've somehow built up my expectations and set myself up for disappointment. Then I remind myself that God's work can never be a disappointment. I'm sure that all things will work out in the end. (:

Recently, I've been feeling a bit emo. D: I'm just tired from junior year. And what an exhausting year it's been. Two more weeks until I'm done with AP testing, and done with school forever. I'm trying to look on the bright side. Always staying one step of the raincloud behind me, less than two months before the summer sunshine disappates that nightmare. Yee!

Random Observations

Lately, I've been feeling more relaxed. It's like summer has come early. I don't know if it's this crazy heat wave, or if its just the afterglow of Easter Break, but AP tests are no longer a hurdle that I must break my back to leap over. I still don't feel like I'm prepared and I still am nowhere confident enough to say that I will get a 5 on any of them, but it's almost as if I've been making a mountain out of a molehill all year long, and now I'm finally close enough to see it for what it is.

So here's my plan for the next two weeks:
Cram for History and Chem this Friday in preparation for the SATs on May 2nd.
May 1st, study for AP Calc. After SAT, study some more.
May 7, cram for APUSH.
May 9, begin cramming for AP Chem test. Learn all the equations, memorize ions, formulas, etc.
May 12, cram for English test. Learn all the literary terms and crap in the back.
After May 13, do nothing while waiting impatiently for the summer to arrive.

I think it's because we're entering the ninth inning, and teachers are giving less homework in hopes that we'll be studying at home. (As if. Neopets, baby!) Less homework = more free time. Free time = Doing nothing, regretting it later, and depression.

For example, I should be doing my study guide right now. D:

But guys, we're almost there! The end is so near I can taste it. Literally. It tastes like FREEDOM. In two weeks, we'll be done with our Junior Year! Except for French. That's going to be a bitch forever.

Decades.

SUMMER.

BREAK IS GODLY.

I've been having a fabulous break. By fabulous, I mean that every morning I wake up at 9ish and SMILE. You know that feeling you get when you get home after an exhausting day and find out that your mother has made a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies and prepared a glass of warm milk just for you to dip them in? Good. Me either. But that is beside the point. I get an extra three hours of sleep, three hours that I did not realize I missed until my skin cleared up like a baby's behind. OK, maybe not like a baby's behind and more like a sandcastle, but that is also beside the point. The point is, I'm happy. I'm content with the world, content with my self, and content with my productivity/purpose. You know how rare that is these days? I haven't felt this way since I got "promoted" from Morrill. (That's right betches. Graduations for seniors.) Life is good.

I haven't had much interaction with the outside world in these past few days. I've seen Anita and Brandon for my French project, but we meet at my house and I am cocooned in my comfort zone. Pajamas and mismatched socks, anyone?

It's been Guitar Hero (sorry, resolution. You died the moment I pressed "publish post"), homework, internet, homework, shower, sleep, ever since that beautiful bell rang crystal clear across the schoolyard last friday. Mmmm. I can still hear it as if it were five days ago.

So reading Kim's blog has gotten me addicted to David Choi (You should go check him out, he's absolutely fabulous), and I spent yesterday learning "Won't Even Start". Now I've been touched by the Spirit of Music and interest has been revived in me once again. Hallelujah, I hear Salvation's Bells a-ringin'!

Today, I was returning home from dropping off my grandparents at the shuttle stop when I see this longass line of cars, red brake lights just stretching as far as the eye can see. I turn to my mom and go "What the hell?" and she doesn't even look, she's like "Tax Deadline today."

HAHAHAHAHA!

THOSE POOR BASTARDS.


So I start peering into the car windows as we drive past, and get this, they're all white. (OK, not white...they're just not Asian. I categorize all non-Asians as white unless I'm being racist.) I turn around to ask my mom where all the Asians went, when this small little running man catches my eye. I look closer. All the crossing islands are occupied by flocks of little Asian people. Where the hell did they come from? I can see some emerging from nearby neighborhoods on foot, others I see crossing the street from the Pacific Rim plaza. I could see all the cars with people inside of them going "FML!!" while all the Asian people are crossing the street, whistling, "MLR!".

That just teaches us that, when in doubt, do it the Asian way.



My sister got waitlisted for HARVARD. WOOOOOOOT.