Paranoid

It occurred to me today, as I was googling appendicitis symptoms, that I might be the slightest bit paranoid. It's been slowly gaining over time, but one of my grandfather's more annoying quirks has finally caught up to me.

Damn it.

See, the math adds up.

Months ago, when I felt chest pains, I was convinced that I had a deadly heart condition (arhythmia, a hole in my heart, heart disease, impending heart attack) and I was going to die. Soon. I still feel those chest pains, and I am still alive...obviously. However, my thoughts have evolved. I no longer have a heart disease. I have lung cancer.

I had food poisoning last weekend, or at least I tell myself I had food poisoning. All I know is that I spent all Saturday through Monday spewing out liquids (from both ends, thank you very much). But then after experiencing abdominal pains today...I have changed my mind. Now I have appendicitis. I'm almost positive.

Well, so far, I will refrain from calling all my long lost relatives in China and informing them of the bad news. I don't quite want to be grandpa yet.