Late Night Useless Productivity

Why is it that I only feel the claws of inspiration after 12 AM? I really should have gone straight to sleep after my shower. Instead, I started reading Picture of Dorian Gray. DAMN GOOD BOOK. And damned if I didn't finish it before I went to bed. I'm glad it was only a 167-page book and not some 300+ page porn. Whew. I had chills when I finished. (shudder) The kind of chills that can only come from something great. You know, like Lord of the Rings. But anyways, new author added to my lists of greats - Oscar Wilde!

I finished the book, shut off the light, and tried to get some shuteye. The caramel latte that I had at Panera's a few hours ago begged to differ. In fact, it protested. Vehemently. Sonofacocklovin'whore. (Tribute to RDJ) So here I am, with 1 hr and 34 min. of battery left on my laptop, trying not to play Tetrisfriendsonline until I pass out. My productivity unerringly chooses to emerge at ungodly hours of the night. For example, I just finished my UCSD Medical Scholar application essay. My best writing is done at the buttcrack of dawn. I'll keep that in mind when I'm in college. Stock up on the Red Bull...Man Niu. God, I miss that stuff.

It's now 2:34 and I'm stuck with a dilemma. Ride out the caffeine wave and wait for morning? Or turn of the computer and resign myself to hours of tossing and turning in a parody of sleep? Dear me, how to choose, they all sound so appealing! Not. Goddamn school for starting tomorrow. Couldn't it given us the courtesy of waiting a day or two, waiting for our convenience? Couldn't it have done us the favor of shooting itself in the face, blowing itself up, infecting itself with Swine Flu, or whatever method of offing itself that would best render it incapable of student attendance? Good riddance. School is highly overrated.

Book smarts. Scoff. Where the hell do they think it's going to take us? It's the street smart that survive. I mean, look at me. Book savvy but dumb as hell. I can't even pass a driving test. "Go straight. Straight! STRAIGH---OH HOLY #$$#@%!!!" Not that I'm bitter or anything. Good God, pry me out of bed at 7 in the morning and deal me this plate of steaming shit. Wow, I'm obscene at 2, almost 3, in the morning.

This is the mood that I best write fiction in. But I'm done with Sherlock. What should I move on to? Pride and Prejudice? Too ambitious. Twilight? Too beneath me. I guess I shall reserve this latent acid tongue for private blogging, my acerbic comments shall be preserved for posterity amongst the ramblings of the bitter, old, and bipolar.

I'm surprisingly un-excited for college results. I've already done my best, put forth my best efforts. All that's left for me to do is wait. Might as well enjoy life before rejection, eh?

Quote of the week: "There is no such thing as failure. Only human struggling to comprehend and accept God's plan"

Unrealistic Expectations

After watching 6 hours of Pride and Prejudice goodness and reading several more hours of fabulous fanfiction, I have concluded that all types of fictional romance are detrimental to my realistic expectations in life. Kimberly's Dad says that romance novels give your high expectations. I don't know about high expectations, but they certainly are unrealistic. I wonder how long I will have to wait before a dark and sexy vampire/werewolf alpha male waltzes through the door...

Then, upon further reflection, I have discovered that, taken out of context, our favorite literary/movie heroes are essentially creepers. Take for example, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Socially awkward and taciturn, overprotective, and seemingly obsessed with Miss Bennet's lively brown eyes. Perhaps for the eye collection he keeps in the jar under his bed? I mean, the dude undresses her with his eyes every time they inhabit the same room, wearing that disconcerting, unmistakably creeper-ish smirk on his face. All I'm saying is, if he weren't sexy, he'd be scary as hell.

Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre. Jealous, slightly neurotic, and manipulative. He toys with another woman's affections simply to make Jane jealous. He locked his wife in the attic for years. Clearly serial killer behavior. Then, by the end of the book, the dude is like...missing an eye and an arm. This look isn't even sexy on pirates. And yet, we all swoon and yearn for a Mr. Rochester to call our own. Strange, isn't it?

Ok. Let's do some movie heroes. I really can't think of any that, in my opinion, aren't secretly gay.

Anthony Stark from Ironman. Has an insane drinking problem. On top of this, he is an arrogant, playboy asshole. Why this sounds attractive to me, I have no idea. I mean good looks, good in bed, and a brain to boot. But if you were Pepper Potts, would you really be interested in the Boss who you constantly have to fish out of a pool of his own vomit? No matter what your libido says, the correct answer, ladies, is NO.

Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. One Word. DREADLOCKS. I mean, even if we could look past those oily, beaded strands of GREASE and SWEAT and OTHER QUESTIONABLE THINGS, Jack Sparrow has the most questionable dental hygiene of any supposedly attractive hero I have ever seen. Then, there's his mental instability, indecipherable sexuality, unhealthy attachment to his ship, etc. etc. etc.

Even though Lord of the Rings technically is a series of books, let's face it, all the young'uns know it as an epic cinematic trilogy. Let's examine the heroes.

Aragorn - never takes bath. Grungy, probably smells something atrocious, pledges his allegiance to midgets

Legolas - His hair will always be more perfect than yours. He will inevitably be standing on the surface of the snow while you are buried three feet under. He has an inexplicable affinity for short, hairy men.

Frodo - OK, the big blue eyes are a plus, but don't they remind you of Dobby? No? Not even the tiniest bit? Well, fine. He has an unnerving fascination for shiny objects. Plus, he's gay for Sam. Just sayin'.

I admit my movie knowledge is severely limited, but I swear to you, WE ARE OBSESSED WITH CREEPERS. (I mean, come on, Willy Wonka? Don't even get me started.)

Even the heroes from romance novels are kind of creepy. But I'll save that thought for a later date. It's 3 effing 30 in the morning. Damn, I have way to much free time.

Off to go ruin my chances of ever being romantically satisfied. (sigh)

Weekend of Partying and SuperBowl...ing?

Wow. This weekend was just jampacked with goodies. I spent the entire Saturday outside of my house, working, partying, singing, etc. From 9AM to 4 PM I was doing community service for CSF. For some reason, I always thought I had more than 4.5 hours. hahaha. Oops. Well, now I have 9.5. I hope they let us sell bags of candy for that extra 30 minutes. After RAFT, Samantha and I went to go get some Froyo. See, I MUST be on my period. Since when did I start liking frozen yogurt? I feel like such a traitor to my people.

Felicia's party was fun. Hella people there, hella food, hella laughing, hella everything. There was Hao and Brandon trying to play The Show on the piano all night. The random football player that showed up with PJ that everyone was trying to identify. Sudoku cheaters! hahaha. Then that epic game of Ten Sluts on a Bus. I can't believe I lost. D:

Today, I took Samantha to church. It was kind of fun. Seemed like a real ADVENTy day. hahaha. Phil was in town and I heard Sunny was too. I didn't get to see Sunny though. D: Pastor Quoc talked about having faith, taking action, and not just relying on sovereignty. I'll give him an "AMEN!" for that!

We came home to watch the Superbowl and work on Abel's project. I've always had a thing for the underdog. It was a GOOD game!! My Dad almost cried when the Saints intercepted that throw. Hee. He was for the other team. (Boo.) I see a lot of gloating in my future. I can finally see the appeal in Football. I imagine, though, that boys would hate watching with me because I would ask a lot of stupid questions. "Wait. Does that count as a fumble? What happens now? Who gets the ball?" Geez. I sound like my mom when I'm watching CSI. "Who killed him? Why did he kill him?" "GOOD GOD, MOM. I don''t know. I'll tell you when it's OVER." hahahaha

My Aiyi brought over ribs, chicken, and mashed potatoes. I've never felt so white. heh. Those ribs were DAMN good. I hadn't had beef in such a long time. Each bite was like a million individual tastebud orgasms in my mouth. We established that I can chew a bone way cleaner than my dog can. MUAHAHAHAHA. >:] Also, I have logged away in my mind to never eat ribs on a date. Gosh. That stuff is messy as hell! BUT DELICIOUS.

I'm really high. So, I'll stop typing now. Time to read some S&S. haha

Blast from the Past

Today, I suddenly had the urge to sing all the theme songs to all the shows I used to watch. Then I realized that I watched a hell of a lot of TV.

Ok. Can anyone remember the theme song to Blues Clues? (I'm totally youtubing it right now.) I remember the Mail Song and the goodbye song...but not the theme song. It was killing me during school and I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I'm really excited to finally hear it. ><

Well, I just finished watching the ORIGINAL version...and I am totally at a loss. I've never heard that song in my life. Hmm..I guess I always tuned in halfway. hahahaha.

Staying up all night

So lately, I've been having trouble falling asleep. Not just falling asleep, staying asleep. It's not so serious that I should go to a doctor a pop a few Ambien. Just tedious enough to make me very pissed off. There's just so many things I could be doing. I wish I were a machine so I could just plug myself into the outlet and recharge while multitasking. That would be brilliant. And when I get tired in the middle of the day, I could just swap in a new battery. I would get so much more done in a day. (sigh)

I just did 5 entries for my Sense and Sensibility Dialectical Journal. That's how bored I am. I get pretty intense when I set my mind to something I guess. I WILL STAY UP ALL NIGHT AND READ FANFICTION, GODDAMNNIT. So I did. Best night of 2010 yet. I watched House, How I Met Your Mother, countless Jude Law interviews.

Which reminds me. RDJ needs to do some Comedy Central interviews. Probably not Colbert, but Jon Stewart for sure! Even Jude Law has done them, why not RDJ? Grr. Hulu is devastatingly bare of any good RDJ videos.

I hope my Sherlock phase passes quickly. These obsessions are always all-consuming but often short-lived. Good God, I still remember that Simon Cowell, Ryan Seacrest phase I went thought. (shudder) Don't really know what was wrong with me then. (Yeah yeah, "Then?". Shaddup.)

There are some small interests that never change. Or don't seem to have for a looooong time. I really wish they would either go away or resolve themselves. (Not you Snape, I could never leave you.) Anyways, the thoughts niggle and tease. It's horrible. I wish there was a Tylenol for that.

Tomorrow, I am going to the library to pick up some more porn. Maybe I'll get myself a serious books. (Snort) Well, still looking forward to it! Yee!

Restless.

It's 2:40 AM and I'm wide awake, tapping away on the keyboard like some sort of deranged monkey. My eyes are tired but I can't fall asleep, and it doesn't help that paranoia and adrenalin are rushing through my system at the thought of being caught, awake at this ungodly hour. And you know what's keeping me up?

Effing Sherlock Holmes.

Good God, that just sounds terribly obsessed doesn't it? I've read over 100 short fanfictions from the fandom and written one. Every time I'm about to doze off, all of a sudden, a prompt sticks in my head and the fiction starts writing itself. What am I supposed to do? I'm a slave to the muse. Of course, I have to think the storyline through, flesh it out, deliver what I have conceived in my head. This is all very useless unless I haul my ass out of bed, go downstairs to grab my laptop, and commit something to Microsoft Word. Which, as you can see, I'm not exactly doing.

I'm feeling restless. Like there's so much stuff I should be doing but can't bring myself to start. For example, studying for AP Physics C. I'm going to fail that test unless I start busting my ass now to learn the material. I'm restless because I'm ready to go to college, restless because I don't yet feel grown up, restless because my abilities are not yet adequate to face the real world. My Chinese is slipping, I need to work on it. My English vocabulary is diminishing, that's why I'm obsessed with FreeRice and dictionary.com. And I want to learn Korean while simultaneously brushing up on my French. In addition to all that, I plan on learning how to improvise on the piano. I sense a heavy workout in the future for my left brain. (At least, I think it's the left brain...)

Not really looking forward to tomorrow... or as it were, today.