Adventure of Mishaps

Dropped off the kids at school today with The Dentist and said my goodbyes. Slept through the entire train ride to Taoyuan. Got to the station and realized I probably should have called beforehand to make sure all arrangements were in order. After seeing nobody with an "ADVENT" sign at the airport, I called the number he emailed out a few weeks ago. His sister picked up and seemed very annoyed when she told me, "He's not using this number this year." Oh snap. It was at this point that I didn't know anything about the church I was supposed to go to except that it was within 760 m of the train station. Not the name. Not the street. Nothing.

For the next hour, I dragged my luggage around looking for wifi, laptop in hand. I started asking convenience store clerks if they knew about any Christian churches nearby. After hitting up Familymart, Hi-life, Starbucks, McDonalds, I finally found a clerk at 7-11 who was like "Umm...I think so. Canaan?"

YESSSS.

She gave me directions and the street name. I knew it was a 3-minute taxi ride, so I decided to be cheap and walk it. I'm here safely now, by God's grace, and I want some pearl tea.

Peace.

LAST NIGHT. SNIFFLE

I'm chilling with Jenny in my room and it's like...11 PM. She's still studying Social Studies for her massive exams tomorrow. I'm watching True Blood. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door and Jenny is shadily summoned outside. Five minutes later, The Dentist, May, and Jenny come back upstairs with two bags of goodbye gifts for me. D: SNIFFLE. Jenny bought my candy, chocolates, and chocolate cookies. May made me a little stuffed rabbit. Aiyi bought me a journal cover and a handmade Amis keychain. We totally group-hugged it out and I did NOT cry (Thank you very much, Amy Wang).

God really blessed me with this family. They took me in for an entire month, housed me, fed me (extremely well), and went out of their way to make me feel at home. I got really close with May especially and I was just starting to get to know Jenny better. Hopefully, we'll continue to keep in contact. I've repeatedly invited them to America. May wants to come to MIT. :D That would be so awesome! I'm definitely going to keep them in my prayers as I leave tomorrow morning. May God bless them just as He has blessed me by bringing them to me.

I WILL NOT CRY.

Until I get on the train.

Last Day at the Mennonite Hospital

This morning, I walk into the door of the Holistic Department and immediately, three people stand up in their cubicles and exclaim "She's here! She's come!" I'm like "Uhh...what the hell?" and I am whisked away to the conference room. (I'm being whisked a lot lately.) At first, Pastor Judy hands me the score to "Because He Lives" and says "Will you sing this for us?" I'm wanted to say "I'd rather not." but instead I said "Can I change the key?" After much discussion, it was established that we seen in very different ranges. haha. I have a tranny voice...they have Chinese opera voices. Not very compatible. Anyways, they ultimately decide to have me play the keyboard for them when they sing for the patients downstairs. I'm freaking out because I hate performing for the public without practicing, but before I know it, I'm crammed in the elevator with the keyboard, four associate pastors, and two pastors. Balls.

Things went pretty well, except for one minor mishap when I ended the song before it was actually over. A lot of "shit shit shit" and some one-handed playing while adjusting the volume went down. Then it turns out that Pastor Chao, who USUALLY plays the piano or sings for them, was just standing around "managing" the sound system. I was like "WHY AREN'T YOU DOING THIS??" She shrugs, "I forgot my uniform...upstairs" TURD. If she weren't taking me KTVing (karoaking) later today, I'd probably be pretty ticked off. haha.

OK, my task today is really just to deliver the thank-you letters I wrote for the people I spent the most time with.

Oh! Dude, God is totally forcing me to practice witnessing. First there was the testimony on Sunday. Then just now, Ya Wen found out that today is my last day. She insisted on treating me to some pearl tea. Conversation went something like this:

"TODAY'S YOUR LAST DAY?? NO ONE TOLD ME! I'M BUYING YOU PEARL TEA."
"Oh no, you don't have to."
"I INSIST."
"No, really--3Q milk tea, half sweetness, no ice. Thanks."

hahahahaha. No shame. 3Q milk tea turned out to be milk tea with ju ruo (jelly strips), coconut jelly, and red bean. Suprisingly good. Anyways, for some reason, she starts asking me really deep questions about the Christian faith. I know that she was given notice about a week ago, and that she was struggling with some things. All the more so because when she was hired two months ago, she wasn't a Christian. I think God really helped me in that conversation because at first, I was all like "Oh God, please don't let me say the wrong thing and turn her off religion forever. " but by the end, I was like sharing Bible verses. haha. Praise the Lord. I was afraid that she would bring up some questions that I couldn't answer, but things turned out all right. Ya Wen is a super caring girl. She's a social worker that is a social worker because she actually cares. It's not just a job for her. I really hope that whatever went down here doesn't change her passion for helping others.

But seriously, getting a lot of practice for missions. Less than 24 hours now!

Dinner with the Pastors

I was mistaken. It wasn't lunch, it was dinner! And WHAT a dinner. We went to a hole in the wall Italian place that was recommended by the president of the Shoufeng chapter of Mennonite Hospital. Apparently, there's a seafood chowder bread bowl that is to die for. At 2 PM, Pastor Chao was summoned to an IRB meeting. (Yeah, she's IRB. hiss!) At 5:30 PM, she calls Pastor Mei Hua and whispers shadily that the meeting is running along, we should go first. So Pastor Mei Hua and Pastor Judy whisk me off on their motorcycles. We get there, and the place is pretty small. It looks pretty fancy too. I looked at the menu and I said "Oh holy shit." Everything was above 230 NT (about $7-8) Ok, that's nothing in the US, but that's expensive in Taiwan!

The first course was a salad. Nothing special but I liked the sauce. Some sort of orange caesar dressing. While devouring this, I realized that I've started to like tomatoes. I'm getting OLD. The whole time we're eating, we're joking about how we have to chew each bite for five minutes so we could stall until Pastor Chao arrives.
The next course is a purple sweet potato soup. I thought it was taro at first, but it tasted kind of like sweet potato bisque. Very good.
I was too cheap to order the seafood chowder bowl (I was being treated, had to be polite.) Instead, I got the Smoked Chicken Pasta bowl. MUCH better than I anticipated. I even ate the slices of garlic it came with. Made me really really crave some pesto pizza. Mmmm.
This is the seafood chowder bowl. Both Pastor Mei Hua and Pastor Judy ordered it because it's the restaurant's signature dish. It was really cute to watch them drink the soup while gently sawing away at the bread. hahaha. Also, when they were ordering it, they said "We have to eat it. What if Zhu Ge (the president) quizzes us on how good it was?" Wahahaha. Chinese people and their manners. Teehee.

Anyways, until then, Pastor Chao had NOT shown up. It's almost 7 now. We're more than half way done with our meal. At this point, I thought it would be a good time to take a bathroom break. I excuse myself, walk over to the bathroom, open the door, and stare aghast. It's a SLIPPER SQUATTING TOILET. IN A FANCY RESTAURANT. Who DOES that?? Pastor Judy sees me turn pale and scuttle away from the bathroom.

"What's wrong?"

"Squat."

"Excuse me?"

"It's a squatting toilet."

"...So?"

"I...don't know how to use them."

"..."

"WAHAHAHAHA."

She then grabs me, tells Pastor Mei Hua to stay put, and whisks me to her motorcycle. I keep on insisting I can hold it but she glares me down and tells me that that sort of behavior increases my chances of getting bladder infections. No really, that's what she said. It's kind of drizzling at this point, but we jump on her motorcycle and drive to the doctors' dormitories which is a little ways up the street. We pound on the door shadily until someone lets us in. Then Pastor Judy begins to call people asking if they're home and where they live. While we're waiting for the elevator, she looks at me and says, "You really don't know how to use a squatting toilet? They're more sanitary!" At my doubtful expression, she suddenly pulls a deep squat, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DORMITORY LOBBY. I'm like "OH, dear!" She's all smiling like nothing horribly embarrassing is transpiring: "Just like this!" (sigh) Gotta love the Taiwanese. I ended up going to Pastor Cai's place to use the bathroom. They were all laughing at me. I'm pretty sure that's what they are going to remember me for in three years.

When we get back to the restaurant, Pastor Chao STILL hasn't arrived. It's 6:58 PM. Dinner was supposed to be at 5:30. Apparently, the really old dude came in for the IRB meeting and we all know the thing about really old dudes. Blahblahblahblahblah. I felt really bad for her because she had't eaten lunch either. ): Anyways, she came at around 7:15 and ordered the seafood bowl too. Her reason? "Zhu Ge is going to ask." hahaha.

The meal came with coffee too, but I wasn't terribly impressed. This is the creme brulee. The layer of carmelized sugar was really good but the pudding underneath was too flan-y for my taste. Still, overall a very good dinner.

When it came time to pay, Pastor Judy and Pastor Mei Hua put the money on the table and look over at Pastor Chao.

Pastor Chao: "Heh. heh. Do they take card?"

They all glare at her. Then Pastor Chao turns to me, "Hey Abby, can I borrow 1000NT?" hahahaha. I'm pretty used to this because Pastor Chao never carries cash. She always borrows money from me and returns it the next day. I find it hilarious. The other Pastors are all yelling at her because they're like "We're supposed to be treating her!" hahahaha.

After dinner, we went over to Pastor Judy's house to see her son. I taught him two years ago during ADVENT. OH MY GOD. Kids grow so fast! In two years, he went from a cute little boy to a little man with a deep deep voice. D: He's still cute though. haha. And apparently, he's quite the smart one. I was actually pretty happy to see him again. I remember him in particular because when I started giving the altar call, he knew more about Jesus than I did. haha "Jesus is the Son of God who came down to forgive our sins..." in CHINESE, nonetheless. Turns out he's a PK. Now it all makes sense. haha. They live above a CHURCH for Chrissakes. hahaha.

I come back home and I tell Dr. Liu and May about my pee ordeal. They both immediately drop into a squat: "Like this!" D: I'm like "WHAT IS WITH YOU TAIWANESE PEOPLE??" And May even goes so far as to take her pants off to demonstrate. wahahahaha. I'm like "GOT IT. PLEASE PUT THAT BACK ON." Lesson of the day: Never tell Taiwan people you don't know how to pee squatting unless you want to be thoroughly mortified.

Catching Up and Winding Down

It feels like a long time has passed since I posted last. Just a fair warning, this post is going to be relatively pic-heavy. I'm down to my last days in Hualien and people are clambering to get a piece of this American. I kid. A little.

Here is my favorite picture with Dr. Xu. He didn't believe that I could take a picture of the both of us. Never question the skills of a camera whore.

After going to Shoufeng on my last Friday, Pastor Chao, Dr. Xu, and I went to the hospital restaurant to get some lamb. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture before I devoured the whole thing. SO good. Mmm. I'm a little less fond of this picture because it proliferates the stereotype that all Asians only have one pose. That's why I chose to go with the less tradition "Gun Frame Face" pose. Also as a side note, the person who we grabbed to take this picture was a HEART SURGEON. So mad props to that random stranger. haha.
On Saturday, I went to lunch with Cai Hui Aiyi. I was a little apprehensive at first because she's been known to have a unstable temper. If she likes you, she REALLY likes you. For example, she keeps on giving me things on her desk. "You like this? You can have it. Is this pretty? You can have it." But if she doesn't like you...run. I've seen her face change. She was yelling at one of the other social workers, and I came around the corner and she was all smiles. Chills. Down the spine. (shudder) Still, she's a very nice person when you're on her good side. This is a picture of her family. Her husband is a pastor and their kid is only in middle school. He's quite the character. When Cai Hui Aiyi got her womb removed, he clutched her stomach and cried, "MY HOUSE. MY HOUSE. " WAHAHAHAHA.
I usually don't like pasta, but this bacon penne was DELICIOUS. The sauce was a little salty a little sweet. The bacon flavor was clearly absorbed by the cream. There was also little pieces of broccoli in it. Mmm. Not too cheesy, just the way I like it.
There was some OK tomato soup before this and some really good coffee after, but they weren't too special. Thus, no pictures. The dessert was milk pudding with mango sauce. The pudding was good both with or without the tangy mango.
Cai Hui Aiyi's son had to leave early for class (on a SATURDAY for Chrissakes). When we were finishing lunch, she asked me where I had gone on my trip. When I told her "Eating. Everywhere." she was pretty horrified. Her husband and her insisted on taking me to Li Yu Tan. It looked like a lake to me, but they insisted it was different. Anyways, the mountains around Li Yu Tan look like a specific type of fish ("Li Yu"), thus its name.
Pretty gorgeous, yeah? You can take one of those swan/dragon paddle boat things around. However, they warned me that the lake is so damn big that some people who paddle out can't summon up the energy to paddle back. hahaha. I don't think that would be a problem for Tatiana. She's strong....like bull. They also have water shows some time, similar to Bellagio.May finished her finals last week, so as a reward, her Mom took her to the night market. There are two major nightmarkets near Ji An in Hualien and this particular one we went to is known more for its games than its food. I wasn't particularly hungry, so I was totally down with that.
May's pretty good with games. We went BB shooting, dart throwing, DDRing, pinball rolling, etc. etc. etc. I swear we threw down like...$10 for her to play games. haha
After shooting 50 pinballs, she won a bow and arrow set.
Victorious.

Last night was my last night with Professor Liang because he has to attend a 3-day course in Taipei. We went to O Xiang, the steak place that I went to for Pastor Chao's birthday. Didn't take many pictures because I had pretty much the same stuff. A four-course meal for 5 people cost around $55. Gotta love Taiwan. Unfortunately, I did not get to treat. The Dentist glared me down. BUT, I am happy to report that the night previous, I did manage to wrangle the bill for Da Tu Dou dessert. All I had to do was take advantage of a small child. No biggie.

Oh, exciting things! I was supposed to practice drums on Saturday to accompany the children's choir on Sunday. However, they decided that the children would not be performing so we didn't practice. Come Sunday morning, they're like, "Oh, why not. Perform" so I had to pull last minute drumming skills out of my bum. It went all right, praise Jesus. haha. After that, I gave my testimony to the youth/children's section. I think it went pretty all right considering I condensed my life story into 5 minutes of awkward Chinese. hahahaha. Anyways, I can only pray, do my best, and give the rest to God. Some of the older children are struggling with stress issues. As I mentioned earlier, one of their members had recently committed suicide. I really hope that my testimony, however boring/awkward it was, really gives them some hope or helps them to turn to God with their problems. Still, it was good practice for the next three weeks. I also discovered that I take after my Dad. I was sweating like a BEAST up there. whoowee.

Today, the associate pastors want to take me out to lunch so I'll definitely be posting those pictures soon.

A few days ago, I was freaking out because I wanted to leave letters for people who have taken care of me over the past month but I had no paper. I didn't want to tear pages out of my notebook, which would just look atrocious. That night, I prayed and was like "I NEED STATIONARY." No joke. The next day, Dr. Liu decided she wanted to buy some new books and I managed to sneak upstairs and buy some + a fancy black pen. Praise the Lord. Now all I have to do is write them. hahaha. Whee!

Lied To All My Life

Yesterday, we went to go buy some "xiao cai", little plates of food, for dinner. There was some pretty standard fare -- pig ear, seaweed, soy sauce eggs, chicken gizzard, liver, etc. -- but there was this one item that completely stumped me. I had no choice but to ask Pastor Chao.

"Mei Yu Chuan Dao...what's that?"
"Pig tail."
"No. Those can't be pig tails. Those are straight."
Pastor Chao and the store owner: "..."
"WAHAHAHAHAHA"

Apparently, we've been lied to all our lives. Contrary to cartoon depiction, pigs have STRAIGHT tails!! D: They are NOT curly, I repeat, NOT CURLY. The deception in our society! Outrageous! Next thing you know, they're going to tell me that cows aren't actually black and white or that the tasmanian devil doesn't actually turn into a tornado. BLASPHEMY.

I think the child inside of me died a little.

ALSO. There are two pregnant ladies at Mennonite Hospital and I've been praying for some time now that I will be around when they give birth. Why? So I can see what happens to the mother's stomach after the ejection. I've always imagined that the mom's stomach magically goes back to normal flatness plus/minus some serious stretch marks. Today, one of the ladies started getting contractions. When I shared my life-long desire with Pastor Chao, she laughed at me...again. Apparently, the stomach slowly returns to normal size. The bump doesn't magically disappear. I'm SO disappointed. Still, I can't wait to see this lady when she's done. :D

Typhoon Incoming!

A typhoon draws near. I can feel it. I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth. I can smell it in the air.

WhuWHAT? Was that TWO Lord of the Rings quotes seamlessly fitted together into one reference? YES. YES IT WAS.

But yeah, a typhoon is coming. Pastor Chao showed me the weather picture and it looks like Taiwan is about to be run over/swallowed by a massive swirly angry thing. haha. Still, in open defiance of nature's wrath, Pastor Chao and I decided to go shopping. Outside. On a motorcycle. With no umbrellas. So intense.

She took me to a famous ice place. Soooo good.

The ice was lightly drizzled with caramel and condensed milk. It was really packed in there too. I was kind of irritated with how dense was until I realized that we were supposed to throw the balls in.
I ordered the combo which comes with "yu yuan" (taro balls), a "di gua yuan" (sweet potato ball), and some tapioca balls with red bean in them. They were all super Q, just the way I like it. When the server delivered this small bowl of balls, it was steaming. I could then decide if I wanted to eat them warm or mix them into my ice. I ultimately decided to spoon the balls into a little mouthfuls of ice so that they would be cold but not lose their chewy texture. [Oh, side note! I learned that the term "QQ" which means chewy actually is derived from a Taiwanese phrase. Not slang as I originally thought.]

It was a very...interesting experience. Not so much the food (which was delicious), but the protecting of the food from insects. There's a specific bug that flies around when a typhoon is approaching. They're harmless, and the natives are always very nice to them. Instead of killing them, they gently brush them off their clothes, or in our case, gently spoon them out of our bowls.
This unfortunate fly landed in Pastor Chao's bowl. The sugar stuck his wings together and he kind of...drowned. Sweet misery. Anyways, we had to eat with one hand while using the other hand to form a dome over our bowls.

Anyways, shopping with Pastor Chao is super fun because she buys the most random things. We were trying to burn time before Melody got out from Math tutorial. She bought 10 bottles of aloe juice. Not a pack of 10. Ten separate bottles. Two cranberry/pomegranate, two mangosteen/mango, two pure aloe, two citrus. As a matter of etiquette, I carried the basket around the store, and later the bag as we went shopping for a bag. haha. The store was kind of pricey, even by American standards. Pastor Chao and I pulled a Neiman Marcus and went around guessing the prices of everything. We're so classy it hurts.

I am being picked up at 6:55 AM tomorrow morning by Pastor Chao because we need to catch a 7:20 bus to Shoufeng. (sigh) I don't know if I'm going to be more tired or less tired during Advent...or if I can even feel anything anymore at that point. haha

Lately, I've been praying that God will help me to be more comfortable with using the gifts he's given me to serve and glorify him. With Pastor Chao, he's slowly giving me the opportunity to practice accompanying on the piano/guitar. On Sunday, I will be playing the drums for the choir and giving my testimony to the children/young adult section. I'm super nervous, but I just pray that God will help me to be an effective communicator and give me the words to speak. Let my tongue be used by the Holy Spirit!

Now that Daniel isn't going on ADVENT and Priscilla and I are lieutenant captains, I have a feeling that I'm going to have to take on a more hands on rather than "guide from behind" approach. I continue to pray that God will help me to step out of my comfort zone. Today during devos, I read that if we sow generously, we will reap generously. This year, I really want to build lasting relationships with each and every one of my students. No more apathy! I want to give them my all so that God's harvest will be abundant. I pray that God prepares my heart for missions -- a serving, selfless heart. But most of all, I pray for love. My own supply of love is inadequate and sometimes I feel like my heart is dried and withered like a old man's behind. But with God, I believe that I can have love like an ocean, joy like a fountain, and peace like a river.

I'm keeping all you soon-to-be ADVENTers in my prayers as well as all you friends at home (whether it's Cali, Baltimore, New York, Pennsylvania, China, Australia, Paraguay... I'm trying really hard not to forget anywhere because that'd just be awkward...you're all on my list!)

May God's grace pour down on you! :) Smile!

Code 999

I'm sitting around finding worship song lyrics on the computer when all of a sudden a disembodied voice announces over the intercom:

"Code 999. Code 999. Please report to the ER. Code 999."

I'm like "Uh. What the heck does that mean?" but before I can turn around and ask Pastor Chao, she's already pulling on a surgical mask and running downstairs. The pastor and other associate pastors soon follow suit. My face must have reflected how "WHAT THE HELL??" I was feeling because the secretary, who was the only person left on my side of the room, turned to explain

"Code 999-"

She's interrupted by the shrill sound of the phone ringing. The head of the Social Worker department picks up.

"Yes? I understand. (hang up) EVERYBODY DOWNSTAIRS."

Now the entire other side of the room pull on surgical masks and run out the door. Not briskly walk. RUN. I am still slightly stunned as I hear the rapid clicking of high heels fade away down the stairs. (That's when you KNOW it's serious. They didn't even bother waiting for the elevator.)

Now the secretary and I are the only people left in the office. I turn to her and gesture between us. "Does everybody include us?"

She laughs and shakes her head. At this point, I'm torn between being all "WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?" and being a calm adult who waits until everybody gets back before asking questions. I settle for sidling up next to the secretary and sending her intent stares until she tells me what's up.

Apparently, Code 999 means that a patient has just been rushed into the ER who is in critical condition. Like literally teetering between life and death. The associate pastors and social workers all rush over to the ER to pray over the patient. Whew, for a moment there, I thought they were heading into a life threatening situation...like a holdup or something.

Anyways, that's the most exciting thing that's happened this week. haha. Yesterday, I got the opportunity to shadow Dr. Xu. If the name sounds familiar, he's the family doctor with the ginormous ego who told me I was overweight. haha. My feelings toward him are slightly less bitter and acrimonious, but we're definitely not seeing Lizzy Bennet change over here. (So Amy, you shut up about me being fickle.) I acknowledge that he is a very smart man who has studied in many different fields of medicine (He does internal medicine, family medicine, gynecology, urology, just to name a few). Last Friday, I get a call on my cell phone from him and he insisted on seeing me. For some reason, he thought I was leaving that weekend. Anyways, we met up for about half an hour, just the two of us, and had a good talk. First, he pulled out all his certificates and medical licenses and went over them in meticulous detail. Then, he proceeded to read me all the letters he's received from his past students...even the ones in English. haha. Even though he has a penchant for tooting his own horn, I started to grow quite fond of his laugh. Now...imagine a orangutan, laughing and swinging his arms. "OOOH OOH HA HA". Kind of like that. But funnier. And with more clapping.

haha. He's hilarious. Still, there's definitely a lot I can learn from him. He was throwing out medical trivia left and right. How to tell the weight of the fetus just from how many centimeters the tip of the mother's bulge is from the belly button. All the different mnemonic devices he uses to memorize symptoms (JACCOL: Jaundice, Anemia, Cyanosis, Clubbing, Ocedema, LAP). He's a total Dr. Chatterbox. All the other staff are afraid of him because once he starts talking, he doesn't stop. They have to politely tell him to shut up. WAHAHAHA. Anyways, he asks me if I'd want to see him in action and I say, "Yeah, sure, why not." Just for him, I go out and buy a notebook. I know he's going to talk a lot, and I want him to feel like I'm there to learn. haha. However, about three patients in, I'm bored to tears.

In Taiwan, doctors get their own rooms. People drop their insurance card into a slot in the door and are admitted directly into the doctor's office. There's no front desk or anything. Dr. Xu makes sure to tell all his patients that I am a PRE-MEDICAL student (emphasis on PRE) who is there to learn from him. Then, as he screens his patients, he occasionally turns to me and asks me questions, answering them before I can open my mouth. I learned to just nod.

"Do you know what TSH is? It's thyroid stimulating hormone. Similar to the follicle-stimulating hormone in women. It plays a large role in hyper and hypothyroidism. Did I tell you about the time that I spotted a case of hyperthyroidism and saved my patient's life?---blah blah"

I took copious notes. Anyways, I found it a bit strange how many tests he ordered for each patient. I think it's a Taiwan/universal health care thing. Every patient walked away with a prescription for at least one drug and most had tests ordered. It seemed that Dr. Xu was convinced that all his patients were in danger of having subclinical hypothyroidism. "You have high blood pressure. Do you know this could be an indicator of hypothyroidism? Let's order some tests just to be sure." He is very thorough and obviously cares very much for his patients, but I think there's a fine line between being meticulous and being paranoid. About 80% of the patients that came through his door were told that they could have hypothyroidism and should be tested. I'm not even exaggerating.

I was amused by how he continued to toot his own horn in front of the patients. ("Did you know I studied urology too? Oh yes, I know a lot about many things!") He took his time with each patient and the atmosphere was very different from what I'm used to at Kaiser. Some of his patients were in there for over 20 minutes. And, before they left, he prayed with/over them. Some of them were ambushes.

"Thank you for coming today. (GRAB HAND. BEGIN PRAYER)" I was so stunned, I didn't even have time to close my eyes before he started. haha.

A lot of his patients request him by name. They know, with him, they're in good hands (If hands could talk you to death).

I was a little irked when he'd turn to me and ask me questions about specific diseases and expect me to know the answer. When I gave him what I soon named The Look, he'd say, "What? You don't even know this?" in front of the patients and everything. I don't think what I told him about me just finishing my first year in undergrad really sank in. He treats me like an intern or resident. (sigh) Still, I'm very grateful that I had an opportunity to learn from him. I really like the attitude he takes toward healthcare and patient interaction. I learned that even though his words can be belittling or hurtful, he has absolutely no idea. He thinks he's being encouraging. haha. Or he's just taking the opportunity to tell you what he knows. By the end, whenever he'd ask me "Do you know...", I'd pick up my pen and respond, "Not yet."

haha.

Praise the Lord! I learn new things every day! I can't believe I only have one more week in Hualien before ADVENT starts.

Tardy Food Blog

OK. I actually went to this place before the night clinic, but I totally forgot to blog about it. Some of the social workers were going out to lunch and they invited me along. Pastor Chao had a meeting with the other pastors, so I was like "Yeah, sure why not." At the last moment though, two of the social workers...which happened to be the two that I actually knew and talked to, were called away to do something else. I was like "GUH. I see awkwardness in my future!" It actually turned out pretty all right, and I made some new friends. And the food was AWESOME. :D Always a big fat plus in my book.

So they wanted to try this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that opened a few months ago called "Xiao Xiao Jia Wu" which means...Little...something..House. :)

There are five meals to choose from and I was really in the mood for bread so I ordered the French Toast.

This starter salad was a pleasant surprise. I got to choose between He Feng (Japanese sweet/sour dressing) or Caesar dressing. Of course I went with the He Feng. Those little orange things in the corner? I initally thought they were radish...but they're chunks of SMOKED SALMON. DDD: OMGGGG. So good!

The set also came with your choice of iced tea, coffee, or juice. Of course, I went with the grapefruit juice. Mmm. Look at those THICK slices of bread. The bread was coated with just the right amount of powdered sugar and maple syrup. It also came with mango and boysenberry jam. I wasn't really a fan of either though. They were too sweet. I just really wanted some bread. hahaha. The fresh fruit on the side included guava, pineapple, and watermelon.
Dong Mei Aiyi was eyeing my toast, so I offered her a slice. In return, she gave me one of her mini-pizzas. I thought the pizzas were going to be gross and American, but these pizzas had squid, olives, and prosciutto on them. Also, instead of tomato sauce, they were topped with mango/tomato/red onion salsa. Mmmmm. Did not regret that trade at all.

Yeah, lunch was absolutely scrumptious. The whole set was only 150 NT, about $5. I was already getting my money out when Chu Hong Jie informed me that Cai Hui Aiyi (one of the ones who couldn't make it) had already paid for me. I'm like "WHAT."

grr. I stormed back to Death Floor but I got totally shut down. I made her promise to let me treat her to something in the future. haha.

Oooh, Drama in the Holistic Care Department. Drama with a capital D. haha. The other social worker who couldn't make it, Ya Wen Jie, I may have mentioned her before but she's new. The patients love her because she has the energy of a girl half her age (She's 28.) However, Ya Wen sometimes oversleeps and twice now has been late to work. She couldn't come to lunch because at the last moment, she was called away by a case. Several weeks ago, she had asked to have the afternoon of this particular day off because she had a Flower Arrangement Class. When Dong Mei Jie (the Head of the Social Worker Department) asked her if she was still taking the day off, she was adamant that she would. I mean, I can see it from both views. You have a worker who comes late and takes days off. However, Ya Wen works hard and she did request the break several weeks in advance. Anyways, at the dinner, Dong Mei Jie hinted that Ya Wen might not be working with them any longer.

On Friday, when I came back from the overnight clinic, Ya Wen looked like she was in a bad mood. That morning, Dong Mei Jie had given her her two week notice. Oooooh, snap. I liked her a lot too! She was more down-to-earth and approachable than anyone else in that department. A damn shame. ):

Anyways, today was a good Saturday. Woke up late and went to a dim sum buffet. 300 NT for unlimited dim sum. Good deal. Again, I never saw hide or hair of the bill. ): I didn't get to take pictures either, but the restaurant was in a fancy hotel, complete with waterfall in the back. I didn't eat as much as I could have because I didn't want to be judged, but that is perhaps a good thing. hahaha. Still very full and satisfied.

I might go eat dinner with Grandpa again tonight. Not sure yet...

IDS: Tagging Along the Mobile Clinic

Yesterday, I found myself standing in front of an unmarked corner of the Mennonite Hospital, waiting around...someone. I didn't know if I'd be met by a person, car, truck, bus, etc. Apparently, I was waiting in front of the staff dormitory. You really think there'd be a sign or something. I was getting antsy after about 10 minutes of waiting, when this Mennonite Hospital van with dark windows pulls up next to me. No one rolls down a window, no one gets out, the van just...parks. I wait for another two or three minutes, trying to not look like I'm staring into the car. Finally, the doctor that I was briefly introduced to a few days ago runs out of the dormitory doors. She's like (point) "ABBY?". I nod, stunned. Then she ushers me onto the car. It was kind of like being kidnapped but friendly.

There were two other people on the car and I'm still a little bitter, "Yeah, guys, thanks for letting me wait outside in the blistering heat for five minutes", but they turn out to be all right. haha. There's Li Rei, the driver, and Mei Hui, the nurse. I cannot remember the doctor's chinese name for the life of me, but she told me to call her Amy, correction, DR. Amy. Li Rei and Mei Hui are great talkers. After the get-to-know-you small talk, they immediately jump into hospital drama/gossip. It was kind of interesting to listen to because until now, I've been hearing it from the administrative side. The workers have a completely different story motivated by different concerns and it was apparent that there are discrepancies between what the workers hear and what the administrators know as well as what the workers feel and what the administrators think. Very interesting stuff. Apparently, I passed out about 20 minutes in so I can't tell you all about it.

It was the gentle jolting of the country highway, so rhythmic and calming. haha. I remember opening my eyes every once in a while and thinking, "I'm AWAKE." or waking up to find my mouth open and wondering if anyone saw. haha. After an hour and a half of sleeping, waking up, finding that the conversation was still pretty much the same as when I last checked in, we stopped at this small restaurant. It was a semi-buffet where you'd order any entree but could help yourself to an unlimited salad bar. I got the miso ramen, which was decent. I mean, the noodles and soup were good but not mindblowing. It looked like they took a bunch of hot pot goodies and dropped it onto the bowl. I didn't even bother to take a picture because it was so...normal. haha. The salad bar had lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, bean curd, watermelon, and coconut jello. I'm not even abbreviating. That's what there was. haha. There was also the sweetest salad dressing I've ever had. I think it was thousand island with kewpie mayo + sugar. I pretty much stuck to the bean curd. mmm. Still, all that for only 100 NT (about $4). Amazing. I'm not complaining. Ok, I am, but only so as to provide commentary on the meal.

The first village we hit up was only about a 10 minute drive away. When we started to pull up, Li Rei presses a button on the console and our van starts blasting music. It sounded like we had rolled down the windows, unloaded our arsenal of pots and pans, and started banging on them. "KIANG KIANG KIANG, MENNONITE HOSPITAL APPROACHING. BRING OUT YOUR SICK PEOPLE." hahaha. I was SO enjoying myself. We drive through the village, announcing our arrival, when Li Rei suddenly says, "Do you guys want to see the waterfall?" I'm like "HECK YES." I bet the villagers were pretty confused when the music started fading away into the distance as we pulled away. wahahaha. The scenery was absolutely gorgeous. The village is nestled in the valley between several large mountains. The waterfall was small, but there were mini-pools at the bottom that natives were swimming and fishing in.

I wanted to wade in, but Mei Hui warned us that there are pinching crabs. There were cute little old Asian people sitting in the middle of the shallow pool with a table-top grill set up, just cooking up some BBQ. That's totally being one with nature.

We set up our mini-clinic at the village leader's house. Mei Hui opens up the back of the van and converts it into a pharmacy. Dr. Amy just sits down at the living room table and starts seeing patients while Li Rei quickly converts the living room into a clinic. We only see about 7-10 patients per village so things are very chill. Amy explains that though Taiwan has universal health care, people who live in the villages pay the same monthly fee for care as citydwellers, but often receive lower-quality medical care if any at all. It is important for the hospital to send out these mobile clinics so they can bring medical resources to the rural areas. My job for the night was to measure blood pressure. With an electric machine thing. Basically, all I had to do was wrap the cuff around people's arms and press a green button. I didn't even have to record anything. Still, it was interesting to watch the interactions between Dr. Amy, Li Rei, and Mei Huy and the villagers. Some of the villagers were obviously drunk. There was this super cute kid who came up to me and kissed me on the cheek (I was sitting down.). I'm like "Aww...cute." Then he stuck his head in between my breasts. I'm like "LESS CUTE." Then he kicked a dog. I'm like "SATAN SPAWN!" There was the cutest dog ever with pleading eyes. He had a puppy's face but a dog's body. HE JUST WANTED LOVE. D: I wanted to load him into the van and take him home.

While seeing patients, it was obvious that I wasn't the only one who had difficulty understanding what the patients were saying. Each village/tribe has their own dialect and sometimes they intermingle their language with Chinese. Still, Amy was thorough and sympathetic. She asked them a lot of questions and answered theirs. I was a little unused to the way she prescribed medicine. I think it's a Taiwanese thing but almost everyone walked away with a prescription for at least one kind of medicine. Amy had gone outside to talk to a patient about her meds when all of a sudden, I see the biggest spider in the world scuttle across the wall. To my credit, I did not scream, shriek, or cry. I just said, "Oh, holy Jesus." all calm-like. The patient who's blood pressure I was taking gave me a quizzical look. haha. The spider's leg-span was about the size of my palm. It wasn't fat or hairy...it's legs were just...long. (shudder) The scariest part was that it crawled into a hole and disappeared. I made a mental note to stay away from walls at all times. Absolutely NO leaning.

We had more patients then usual at the first village so we left there about an hour later than we usually do. On our way to the second village, Li Rei asks if we want to get some shaved ice. Dr. Amy's like, "Won't we be late?" Li Rei responds, "Oh, it's fine. Sometimes we don't get there until 9." So we stop at 7-11 and Amy treats us to slurpees. Apparently it was buy one get one free. The next village had only three patients. My favorite one was the young man who described his boogers as having the consistency of longan. WAHAHAHAHA. On our way out of the village, Mei Hui points out a couple of mango trees. Upon hearing that I've never seen a mango tree, they immediately start scouring the trees for fruit to PROVE to me that they are in fact mango trees. It's about 9:30 PM, we're on a narrow dark dirt road on some random mountain, and we're driving sloooowly on the wrong side of the road, looking up. Hilarious. Li Rei stops the car, crawls out the driver's window and plucks me a mango. Not one, but TWICE he does this because apparently the first one is too small. I love these people. hahaha.

We drive for about twenty minutes up the mountain. At this point, I'm wondering where the hell we are going. We end up one of Mennonite's rural clinics. The night view from up there was incredible, especially with the moon glowing a dark yellow, wrapped in sheer white clouds. GORGEOUS.

Our work for the night is not done, however. Dr. Amy still has to type up her hand-written notes and print them out while Mei Hui needs to double-check that the prescriptions have been added to their medical records. At first, I sit and talk with Amy as she types. She tells me to ask questions about anything I don't understand. However, things kind of get off-topic every once in a while. We start talking about healthcare policies which led to politics...and we eventually end up talking about dramas. At this point, Amy stands up, and politely escorts me outside. She's like "I'm sorry. Talking to you makes me forget the time. Let's talk later." haha. The most polite kicking out ever. Still, she unveiled a little more to me than I wanted to know. She voted for Ah Bian because of the staged shooting, she thinks the KMT hired someone to shoot the son of the one of their own members in the face to get sympathy votes, and she likes Taiwanese dramas. Oh, girl, I liked you. ):

I decide to go take a shower while everyone is working so it can be open for them when they're done. I haven't even stepped into the shower room when I spot a spider lurking in the corner. Li Rei comes in to help me, but it is obvious he's afraid of spiders too because he reaches for a broom instead of doing the MANLY thing and killing it with his bare hands. While I'm waiting for him to kill the spider, a COCKROACH scuttles near my feet. I decide then that maybe I'm not going to take a shower that night. He eventually kills both the spider and the cockroach but on my second attempt to enter the bathroom, I see the dried carcass of a LARGE spider hanging in the corner. hurk. Any resolve I had before then shriveled up and died. I find myself hugging my shower stuff in the lobby, listenting to some stupid Taiwanese variety show about DHEP, while glaring death-daggers at a leech that's inching it's way across the floor.

Things were looking bad. Then, I realized there was no sitting toilet. As I looked down the row of holes, the slurpee from two hours ago started to make its presence known. I would have gotten down on my knees to pray, but I was afraid of what might be lurking on the floor. That night, Amy and I shared a room. We talked about a bunch of things, such as why do I want to become a doctor and why did she decide to become a doctor. haha. She's not a Christian. And I really felt called to witness to her. I didn't give her the watered down version of my answer but straight up said, "Because I feel that God is calling me in this direction. I'm in the right place right now." I'm usually really uncomfortable talking about my faith to non-believers, but it felt like we were just having a normal conversation. She talked a little about the problems she's been struggling lately with finding satisfaction/joy in her work. If I had greater balls, I would have offered to pray for her. Instead, I shared with her my similar problems and kind of danced around how we can cast our burdens onto the lord. hahaha. She's like, "Yeah, I noticed how Christians tend to be full of joy. It's interesting." That's what she said, "you qu" which means interesting or amusing. haha. After about half an hour of conversation, she says "Ok. We'll talk to here. Good night." I LOVE HER. I have been trying to do this move forEVER and this is the first time I've seen it work. Usually, you subtlely hint that it's getting late and you're super tired and it's time to sleep while the other party blathers on and on ("Good night." "Good night, see you tomorrow...oh yeah, what are we doing tomorrow--?). I am in awe.

Guys, I don't know how my bladder managed it, but I held my pee until breakfast the next morning. We headed out of the house by 6:40 AM to rendezvous with another mobile clinic. On the way, Amy stopped off to buy Dan Bing and Shao Bing (egg pancake and...pan-friend stuff). I work up the courage to ask one of the workers if there was a bathroom...a SITTING bathroom. Amy laughed when I skipped/ran my way to the back. haha. When we met up with the other van, Amy and I switched cars while Li Rei and Mei Hui headed back to the hospital. We headed off to another clinic to give physicals to the elderly.

The clinic set up about 12 stations, each station doing something like urine testing, blood test, weight, vision, etc. Amy and Mao Jie, a nurse, were in charge of giving pap smears. People would just show up, swipe their Healthcare cards, and go through a round of examinations. The pee station was located handily next to the bathroom. I was a little disappointed that there was no poo station.

I thought it was an American thing to hate pap smears. But nope, it's universal. People would pass by our station looking all interested, read the sign, visibly recoil, and try to back away. We offered entrance into a raffle to win a 42 inch LED TV and a free 2 kg bag of rice.

"Pap smear?"
"No."
"We have free rice."
"Fine."

hahahahaha. No joke. Around 20 people got pap smears for free rice. Gotta love Asian people. One old lady was particularly reticent. The head of the local clinic had to come over. She was damn smooth. The poor old lady had her pants back on before she even knew what happened. I was terrified for her. Anyways, I was in charge of passing out the free rice. Whee! I worked with two older sisters, Xin Wei and Ru Ing. I only managed to remember their names because I translated them into "Heart Butt" and "Breast Silver" in my head. Whoops, can't tell them that. Ru Ing had the cutest hair cut. I want her bangs. >:]

Just got back to the hospital about an hour ago. I'm dirty, sweaty, and all around gross. Before we parted ways, Amy wanted to "recap what I've learned". She talked about the three steps of Medical treatment and about how treating patients isn't just about healing diseases. Even though a little was lost in translation, I think I get the gist of what she was saying. You can't always just wait until patients are sick to treat them. Sometimes, you need to take a preemptive strike. The mobile clinic not only educates the villagers about how they can and should live healthier lifestyles and what practices put them more at risk for diabetes, heart conditions, and hypertension, but also works to prevent existing conditions from escalating into life-threatening diseases. Nipping these diseases in the bud helps save money for the patients, the hospitals, and the government, but more importantly, it saves lives. <--- wow, corny.

OK. I'm hungry. Haven't had lunch yet. I'm thinking I deserve some instant noodles. Taiwanese instant noodles are boss, yo.

A Day of Poo and Coconut Juice

I started off the morning in 5A (the Surgery Ward). To my surprise, Mei Jiao Jie was working the day shift. Apparently, the Head Nurse sets the schedule and the nurses don't get any input. haha. It's super fun working with Mei Jiao Jie because she's definitely a lot more hands-on than Xiu Zhen Jie. They have different styles, and sometimes I'm actually more comfortable with Xiu Zhen Jie. Mei Jiao Jie seemed a bit more cranky today (might be from shift changes) and for her, that means working more briskly while still having a smile on her face. haha.

There was this sad little old man who needed to be weighed. I really need to take a picture of the weighing contraption for people who are bed-ridden. It's like a mini-crane. Anyways, this poor Ah-gong is permanently curled into the fetal position (literally). He doesn't speak, he has one black tooth left, he keeps his arms crossed across his chest, and his legs curled into his body. Because of the shape his body is stuck in, we had to position him a bit differently in the harness...sling...thing. Basically, we couldn't strap the safety slings between his legs. We had to weigh him in a loose hammock. I was like "Mei Jiao Jie...are you sure?" She's all nonchalant, "Oh yeah, just make sure he doesn't fall out." O_O What? Ah Gong can't move by himself, so we had to turn him from one side to another to get the sling under him. Every time he's moved, he lets out this really deep, pitiful groan/moan. I'm trying to rub his shoulder and comfort him, murmuring "It's OK, Ah-Gong. We're almost done." Meanwhile, Mei Jiao Jie was working BRISKLY. I was a little uncomfortable in the way she was manhandling the poor little man. I mean, she wasn't hurting him, but the treatment was a bit...brusque. When the crane started lifting, she didn't warn the old man, and he let out this really scared moan. That's when I started to rub his knee comfortingly and saying stupid things like "It's OK. You're going to be fine. All right, we're coming down now. All done." half in Chinese and half in English. Then I realized that I practically lied to the poor old man because later on, we had to move him to another room. There was this board that looks like one of those thing EMTs on ski-mountains use. It was actually super cool because this thing slides out, we slide the patient on, and it slides the patient onto the bed. I was totally amused. Except poor old man made really pitiful sounds that made me thoroughly ashamed of myself.

I've seen Mei Jiao Jie in action before and she's usually a lot better with her bedside manner. She sings along with patients and talks to them when she's treating them. Maybe today was just an off-day for her. Apparently, one of the patients was recovering from spinal surgery and refused to cooperate in the recuperating process. He'd remove the back brace and try to walk around when the nurses weren't looking. Then, there is this other patient. He's an aboriginal, and I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was there when he was admitted. He was stumbling around and refused to give the nurses any of his information. He yelled to his son, "SHUT UP. Don't tell them anything". Xiu Zhen Jie shakes her head and says "Marason. (Drunk)" Anyways, he's all done with surgery now and is staying in 5B, across the building. He stumbled into an empty room today, rifled through the drawers, and tried to steal money, cigarettes, and other miscellaneous items. At first, we thought he was just chilling in the seat. The other nurses were afraid of him and called Mei Jiao Jie to help. She sweeps in, and casually asks him to go back to his room. He refuses and it's when we leave the room that one of the caretakers tells us that he's been going through drawers. Then Mei Jiao Jie unleashed her fury. I don't know how she did it, but she came out of that room with the money and cigarettes in her hands. The last I saw of that guy, he was slinking back to 5B.

Helped to change a lot of sheets and diapers today. It's really depressing to think about the future after I've helped treat the elderly living in the surgery ward. Some of them don't have families and when the nurses are in a rush, they don't get the type of gentle treatment they deserve. Every time I help change a diaper, I think, "This could be me in 70 years." It's also really touching to see the dedication and loyalty that some of the caregivers show their employers, even when they're non-responsive. One lady in particular sleeps at the hospital nightly, refuses to let anyone else feed the patient, changes his diaper, takes him on walks, etc. But it's when I see the families that stick around that I hold back a sniffle. The sons/daughters that hold the hands of their parents when shots are given. The grandchildren that brush Ah-mas hair out of her face so her temperature can be taken. SNIFFLE. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE BE LOVED IN THIS WAY?

OK. On to a less depressing note. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THESE MELONS!

Cai Hui Aiyi grabs me from the cubicle and I race after her downstairs with absolutely no idea where the hell I'm going. Apparently, her husband had called her and told her that he was going to be at the hospital with watermelons in 10 minutes. She proceeded to completely forget, go to a church meeting, and was running approximately 25 minutes late. These two are the cutest couple btw. He's a pastor, she's a social worker. He's missing an arm. Yeah, I have a burning desire to know too. I think he was born without it. Anyways, his mom works in a watermelon field over in Yuli (about two hours away), and her boss lets her take home excess watermelons. I open the car door to find at least 8 watermelons of the same epic proportions. Super sweet, but unfortunately, not seedless.
After work, I went over to Pastor Chao's house. This coconut grew on a tree right in her backyard. Her father, who's gotta be like...70+, climbs up to the third floor to hack these babies off every year. He's a BEAST. A retired something, he still volunteers at the hospital and acts as a guest-pastor at different churches (I don't know how in the hell that works out because I can never understand what he's saying. He's half hakka.) After making the hole as displayed above, he drains the coconut into a pitcher. The juice was a strange type of sweet/bitter that is just so characteristic to coconut. The meat was subtly sweet, and free of the hairiness that I've associated with coconut. Pastor Chao Sr. told me that sometimes the meat of the coconut is soft like jello. I'm like "SHUT THE FRONT DOOR." I refuse to believe this until I eat it. As I sipped the not-so-delicious juice politely, I started thinking...is coconut a fruit? or a seed? I mean, is it the fruit of the coconut tree? Or the seed of the coconut plant? Because if it's a fruit...where's its seed(s)? Also, where does coconut juice come from? Is it like a cactus? Storing water for the future? But then does that make the coconut a stem? I WANT ANSWERS.

Then, Pastor Chao took me to the grocery store. Taiwan grocery stores are more like Walmart + Savemart. The beauty products are located adjacent to the popsicles. Wassup with that? Anyways, the girl in the picture is Melody, Pastor Chao's demon spawn. More about her later. What's actually important is the BASKET CART. OK, you know how in America our options are cart or basket? In Taiwan, you get cart, basket, or BASKET CART. You put the basket...on this cart device. You know...if you're too lazy to carry the basket. THEN WHY NOT JUST GET A CART?? Ridiculous!

Oh, well, I got to the Coconut Juice part of the title and I guess changing diapers sort of touched on the Day of Poo part, but I totally forgot the best conversation I've had...EVER.

Pastor Grace: You know what these are for? (holds up two tubes)

Me: Blood?

PG: Pee. And Poo.

Me: Ooooh. Then why are you putting it in your purse...wait, back up, POO?!?

PG: You guys don't do checkups in America?

Me: WE DON'T BOTTLE OUR OWN EXCREMENT.

PG: We take it home, fill it, and bring it back the next day for analysis.

Me: Say WHUT. Ok, wait, let's pretend this is perfectly normal for a moment. How do you get...your waste...into that tiny tube?

PG: Well, you don't need to put all of it in. Just a tiny peanut.

Me: A tiny wh---OH GROSS!!

PG: Don't worry, the tube comes with a spatula. Ah, you're thinking too much. You just get out some old newspapers or layer some toilet paper. Melody's done it before too. What do you Americans do?

Me: Why do you need newspa- OH GAH. THE IMAGERY. NOOOOO. Ok, we pee in a cup at the hospital. They whisk it away, we never think about it again. We do NOT analyze poo. God, I hope we don't analyze poo. What happens if you don't need to poo?

PG: Happens every morning.

Me: What happens if you get food poisoning?

PG: Then you don't do it that day.

Me: But I thought you needed it by tomorrow. What if you get food poisoning?

PG: I won't.

Me: What what if you DO?

PG: I WON'T.

Me: ... Fine. How are you going to bring your...the sample...to the hospital? Mail?

PG: In my purse.

Me: ... GROSS. What if it breaks in your purse?

PG: I always put the tube in a plastic bag.

Me: Always? How many times have you've done this?? Never mind, I don't want to know. What if you had to pass through a security gate and they checked your purse?

PG: That's their problem, not mine. You're thinking too much about this.

Me: I can't look you in the face tomorrow.

PG: Heh. heh.

Me: I'm never carrying your purse for you again.

She was just laughing at my face the entire time. (shudder) Poo...in a vial.. guh. Can you imagine having to harvest your own poo?

Oh, exciting news! I'm going to be tagging along on an overnight clinic on Thursday. All I know is that we leave the hospital at 4 PM and don't come back until the next morning. EXCITING! :D I have no idea where we're going or what I'm doing, but I'm just going to pray that it's AWESOOOOME...and educational. But mostly AWESOOOOME. :D

whee!

Very Chill Weekend

Man, I've got to do something about these inconsistent titles. Still, I'm getting tired of the previously used format, so nyeh.

Spent the weekend with the Liangs for once. I feel like even though I live with them, I spend a lot less time chilling with them. We basically eat breakfast together and don't see each other again until 9-10PM. Then, I watch "Let's Talk In English" with May, sometimes help Jenny with her English/math homework, shower, and sleep. Repeat. haha. So, this weekend I resolved to spend some quality time with them (if they wanted me).

Last Saturday, I went to work with Pastor Chao because the Liangs went to Taipei for a wedding. This Saturday, I assumed I would go again, but Dr. Liu was like, "Are you crazy? Aren't you tired of the hospital yet?" haha. Pastor Chao said it was up to me, that we probably wouldn't do anything anyways. So, yeah, slept in until 10 AM. BOO-yeah.

At around 10:30 AM, Dr. Liu sweeps up the stairs, scoops the girls out of bed, ushers them downstairs, positions them in front of the piano, hands them each a violin, and they commence practice. We were going to "he xi jiu" (go to a wedding reception) that night and they were accompanying the church choir. Apparently, they had not practiced yet at all. haha. My type of people. We ended up skipping breakfast and heading to brunch at a local restaurant. I was warned to bring a book because the service was slow. The restaurant's excuse? Ambience. It's the type of restaurant you go to for a leisurely cup of coffee and a light meal which you partake of while staring soulfully out the window wondering when the world went to shit. Anyways, I had a "light" meal because I wasn't super hungry. I could NOT for the life of me read the menu, but I surmised that there was potato and bread in my entree. I actually remembered to bring my camera this time. Yee!

This is the latte. Look how much milk and foam there is. It came with a blue curly straw. Very confusing. I actually didn't see it at first and almost stuck it up my nose when I went in for the first sip.
OK. Fifteen minutes later, this came. I take one look and I'm like, "Where's the potato?" Then, I cut it open, and get this, it's french bread with potato salad on it, covered with cheese and baked. GENIUS. It was DELICIOUS. And I ate the salad, apple, and corn/raisins the entree came with so I could tell myself I ate a healthy brunch instead of just a mountain of carbs.

After lunch, we went back to the house and vegged until nighttime. It was AWESOME. At night, we went to the wedding reception. And yeah...I forgot my camera. In my defense, I was in semi-formal attire and there was really no place to put it. Well, any place you'd want to know about. In Taiwanese custom, there are two wedding receptions. One for the friends of the groom and one for the friends of the bride. Each are held in their respective hometowns. The Liangs went to the first one in Taipei because they were invited to the wedding and got to go again because they are friends of the bride. I was the plus one. haha. Wooh. There were like 10 plates of goodness. Lots of soups. Abalone, eel,fish, all the standard wedding reception fare. I wasn't terribly impressed. We were seated in the corner near the front of the stage so we couldn't see anything. Not the corny slide show, not the parents making a speech, NOTHING. D: AND, the same song kept on repeating over and over again. I counted eight times before I gave up. The most exciting part of the night was when Jenny got too excited spooning soup in her plate and burned herself. It was epic. They had to stick her hand in an ice bucket. She has second degree burns on her hand and everything. The power of Chinese soup cooked in a Chinese vat. Whooowee. It looks really wicked and she's super proud of it. She spent today running around showing it to everybody. You can clearly see the soup's trail as it traveled down her hand. hahahaha. The second most exciting part of the night was when they passed out free souvenir playing cards...with the bride and groom's face on it. I don't know about you, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of people playing with my face. I mean...picture Me would be forced to watch as people play depraved games like Strip Poker or Strip Heart Attack or Strip for the sake of Stripping. (shudder) Still, super fun. I can't wait until I get to attend the wedding/reception of someone I actually know.

Went to church today with the Liangs and helped occupy the younger children while Dr. Liu led Sunday Service. I was supposed to help play piano but I kinda roped Pastor Chao into doing it. Teehee. I discovered that I am a slither-outerer. Probably not news to most of you. hehe. Had wontons for dinner. They were suprisingly good. The "xian" (stuff inside) was shrimp and I could actually see/taste shrimp. It wasn't mashed up into suspicious pink goo. For dessert, we had Da Tu Dou, which is a nearby ice and sweet tofu place. Prof. Liang had actually bought it yesterday and put it in the fridge. We learned that old "yu yuan" (taro balls) are pretty nasty. Instead of being Q (chewy), they're kinda hard. haha. May was so dismayed. haha.

I spent the day teaching May how to semi-improv on the piano and helping her with math. Omg, math in Chinese is SO hard. She's like "You know, gong chi? li xing?" And I'm like "Whaddahuh??" We finally discovered some middle ground. We communicated by writing "mL" and "cm". No speaking necessary. haha. I taught her scientific measurement analysis (I'm not sure what 's actually called. The thingy where you get to cross stuff out) and I got the blankest stare EVER. haha. "Never mind. Just know that 1 m^3= 1000L."

When May started practicing piano, I decided to take a nap. I had just laid down when the ground starts to shake. I'm like "Ok. I did NOT throw myself down that hard." Second earthquake in three days. My room is on the third floor so I got to sway peacefully with the earth's crust for a good 5 seconds.

Oh, tonight, I had dinner with Grandpa for the first time. I met Grandpa Liu at the wedding reception. He's A-Mis (the aboriginal tribe here in Hualien) and for the life of me, I cannot understand most of what he says. A lot of nodding and smiling on my part. Prof. Liang isn't aboriginal either, but he's had a lot of practice. Sometimes he translates for me, other times, he sends me the signal to smile and nod. The Liangs go to eat dinner with Grandpa every night because Grandma passed away last year, leaving Grandpa all alone in the old house. It's really cute. The whole family gathers, including Dr. Liu's older brother The Surgeon and his family. Today, he didn't show up. And there were whispers of "Marason" which I learned yesterday is A-Mis for "drunk". The aboriginals are often disparaged for their affinity for drink. It's really sad. But yeah, didn't see The Surgeon today. I've heard he looks like Dr. Liu with short hair and darker skin. mehehehehe. Super good food at Grandpa's too. The live-in senior helper, Yuni, is a great cook. The vegetables actually had flavor. whee! There was also sashimi and a bunch of different kinds of fish. Apparently, it's some sort of Fish Harvest Festival today, an aboriginal celebration. That explains why The Surgeon is out getting Marason. haha. After dinner, Grandpa tells me to go eat a banana because he grows them himself in his backyard. Not wanting to disappoint, I comply. Then, he comes out and tells me that the ones on the table are store-bought, NOT home-grown. He then hands me another banana, TWO times the size of the one before, and says, "Here, eat this." I now have dinner + banana already in my stomach...but I couldn't disappoint Grandpa. Still, I usually don't like bananas, but his were delicious. They had a slight hint of a pineapple taste. Very sweet. I definitely fulfilled my quota for potassium today.

I have resolved to learn how to play the violin during my time here. Boo-yeah.

One ADVENT dream, One slightly more EPIC dream

Last night, I had another ADVENT mini-dream. The whole team was on some sort of tour/joy-ride thing. The package included a 20-minute boat-ride across the ocean to a city by the beach. I had brought my laptop to transcribe some sort of interview and my guitar for some other unknown reason. When we return to the previously appointed rendez-vous point, we are informed that there was only a one-way boat-ride in the package. To get back, we had to wade out into the ocean, and wait for a raft to pick us up. At first, we're all like "Wooh, cool! We can surf!" but when we get to our lockers, we realize we have stuff like...say laptops and guitars...that can't get wet. I'm freaking out because my backpack isn't waterproof when suddenly I see one of those vacuum bags (you know, the plastic bags that you put a bunch of junk in and vacuum all the air out of so that they turn miraculously tiny?). I stuff my backpack in one of those when I realize that there is no way in hell my guitar will fit. One of the team-members suggests that we walk back instead. I ask the tour guide how far it is to get back by foot. He shrugs nonchalantly, "15 miles?" Holy crap. Then, Momma Chang comes to the rescue. She rents out an entire fleet of little wooden boats. Apparently, the people had wanted to charge us 300 NT each for boat fare, but Momma Chang had bargained with her...1000NT for full rental of 5 boats. Score!

We're on the boat, and I am seized with the feeling that I am going to fall off. I have a guitar in one hand, and for some reason, I am holding something between my feet, dangling it over the water. The thing starts to slip, and when it finally falls, I yell, "Momma Chang! STOP THE BOAT." Then I hand my guitar over to the nearest person and jump into the water. Whatever I just dropped, I know that without it, I can't vote. I literally thought in my mind, "I just lost my right to vote." I'm searching the bottom of the river (no longer an ocean now) with my feet, but in some areas, it's a little too deep. I'm afraid I'm going to dig up dead bodies with my feet. I go back and forth along the area but suddenly, I'm not looking for my mystery object, I'm looking for Daniel's violin. I run to catch up with Momma Chang and the boat, but all of a sudden we're in post-modern England. I'm running on cobblestone. When I meet up with the team, I'm distraught: "I lost Daniel's violin!!" Then, one of the members reminds me that I lost the mystery object, not Daniel's violin. Everything is OK. I remember wondering why I was so worried in the first place. The mystery object can definitely be replaced. Then I woke up in time to wonder if everyone else overslept and if we're going to church today. haha

Oh, I had a more epic dream two nights ago:

There was a teenage boy who's parents were some sort of American hate terrorists (think KKK). Disapproving of their lifestyle and ideals, he refuses to go along with them and threatens to run away. They then leave on a three-day trip, but confine the boy in the house. There are sensors set up at every exit so that if the boy tries to leave, the house will explode. Now, Patrick Jane (The Mentalist) shows up. Apparently, the sensors are only set off by people leaving the house, not entering. He shows the boy how to deflect the lasers of the sensors with a dollar bill, carefully aligning a single bill horizontally to block three lasers. The boy plans to escape the next day because he has to put some things in order. Instead, Jane suggests that the boy come stay with him immediately because the boy's parents might come home early and ruin and chances of escape. The boy agrees and they leave.

The next day, a team of two (which I am part of ) go back to the house on a mission to blow it up. We bring a missile that the boy's father had given him. It's strapped onto the top of our car. To our horror, when we get back to the house, the boy's parents are unexpectedly home. The Mom greets us warmly and I am overcome by a feeling of wrongness. We decide to leave the house immediately. However, I come up with Plan B. Our original plan was to destroy the house so that the parent's would have nothing to come back to. However, with the parents home, this act would culminate in murder, NOT what we were going for. So, we decided to lure the parents out of the home, by saying that we have a message from the boy. Then, once we were far enough from the house, we'd show them the missile that the boy gave us and fire it at the house. This way, we would get the message across AND destroy the house.

For some reason, we find ourselves IN the house. The sensors are still in place, so we can't leave through the front door. We decide to tunnel our way out. There is a sense of urgency as we run through the basement of the house, kicking walls to find the false ones and crawl through.

Then I woke up and said, "Wow. I need to watch more TV."

06/10/11, 16:25; Location: Death Floor

Today is Pastor Chao's birthday. Which she neglected to tell me. I am now letting her suffer alone in a Anti-Sexual Harrassment seminar as punishment. Mehehehe.

Just finished translating the website! When I'm on the second to last paragraph, Pastor Chao drops by, looks over my work, and says, "Wow, you translated every sentence. I only needed the general outline of each paragraph." "..." I hope that seminar is AWKWARD. With DIAGRAMS. And SKITS.

Pastor Chao has been dreading going to the Shoufeng Psych Ward for the past few days. One of her patients who caused quite a ruckus at the main hospital recently voluntarily checked herself in there. This hitherto unnamed female had come into the hospital with a small blade and started shredding pamphlets in the stairwell. One of the social workers managed to convince her to surrender the blade, but when security came to escort her off the premises, she got violent. She escaped into the basement female bathroom (convenient because all the guards were male) and proceeded to make as much noise as she possible could. Pastor Chao was summoned because she has had contact with this particular patient before. She finally convinces the patient to come out and leave the hospital patiently. She also gave the patient her office number so she could seek help whenever she needed it. Needless to say, there have a been a lot of calls for Pastor Chao lately. On Fridays, Pastor Chao goes to Shoufeng to lead activities for the Acute and Dementia patients. Fortunately, this particular patient decided not to take part in today's activities. This might be because she doesn't know Pastor Chao is the one who leads them. Or, it could be because yesterday, the hospital contacted her mother after a social worker had promised her that they wouldn't. We were told that she was furious. Some of the hospital staff are worried that the patient will check herself out (which she's allowed to do because she voluntarily checked in) and seek retribution on the social worker in question. In any case, she could have checked out already, or she could still be in lock-down after her episode yesterday.

I got the crap scared out of me today in the dementia ward. As I mentioned previously, there are a few female acute patients temporarily living in the dementia ward. I was walking around, helping with the activities, when I turn around to find a face literally two inches away from mine. I'm like, "Oh, holy shit!" A young woman was staring intently at my cartilage piercing. My first irrational fear was "Oh my God, she's going to rip it out." So I subtly tried to turn my body to face her. She turns with me, so that my profile is still facing her. My heart is still racing from the initial shock. But I'm like "OK. I'm being ignorant. Treat her like I would a normal person." So I try to smile at her.

"Is that a piercing?"
"Yes."
"Did it hurt?"
"Yes. (In my head: Not as much as if you rip it out.)"
"More than the ones on the bottom?"
"Heck yes."
"Oh."

And then she just casually walks away and puts her head down on the table. I'm still bewildered like "What the heck just happened?" It took a while for my heart to feel normal. I think I've been traumatized by all the horror hospital stories I've been told. The perks of staying with Pastor Chao.

Some of the stories are funny. In a certain hospital (not Mennonite), a patient died every day around the same time, on the same floor, in the same room. (OK, the story does not start funny.) Rumors started that the room was haunted or cursed. A doctor later discovers the real reason behind the mysterious deaths. The old cleaning lady, who was paid to come in everyday and vacuum, would unplug the patient's life support to make room for her vacuum plug. When she was done cleaning, she would plug the patient back in. I'm not sure if this is a true story or not, but...HILARIOUS.

I also get to hear all the hospital gossip. Apparently, the hospital is having some troubles with its surgeons. One is infamous for being dirty. He refuses to wash his hands before surgery and wears his scrubs out and about. The other is very nice to patients but becomes somewhat of a demon when he enters the surgery room. He screams at nurses and several have already quit because of him. This causes a vicious cycle as the inexperienced new nurses just piss him off more. There's also the story of the hospital executive who got demoted because he was/is having an affair. His coworkers are pissed that he wasn't fired (for violating the ethics code of the Mennonite Hospital. Also understandable because his position was Head Pastor) and it's super awkward having him around the office. There be cold shoulders all over the place. Just goes to show that even Christian hospitals can have their fair share of drama. Pastor Chao is super stressed about a lot of this stuff because it's her job to sort out these issues. A lot of the staff, Christian and non-Christian alike, come to her and ask her to pray for the things they're going through. Everyone finds comfort in her. I would worry that she's taking too much of a burden on her shoulders, but her personality enables it to handle all of it well. She told me, "Yeah, I worry. But I also know that God can fix whatever we screw up. All I can do is pray for wisdom and guidance and pray that God's will be done in this hospital." Then she takes me to get shaved ice. haha. I think I can learn a lot from her about giving my concerns over to God. God is Great. Through Him, I can do all things.

OOh, there was an earthquake today! When things first started shaking (we were on the third floor), I was like "earthquake?" I anticipated the Baltimore put-down, "This is the East Coast. There are NO earthquakes." But I was right. It made me homesick. haha. It wasn't very big but it lasted for a while. Apparently, one of Pastor Chao's coworkers was at the epicenter of a rather serious earthquake in Taiwan 20 years ago. Whenever she feels an earthquake now, she freaks out and tries to look for the nearest exit. When Pastor Chao told me, she gave a wistful sigh, "Man, I wish we were there to see her reaction to this one." hahahahaahaha.

haha. OK, off to read Shortpacked! :D