Lord of the Orgo

Josh: Orgo is beautiful. Embrace it.
Me: I'd rather appreciate it from afar.
Josh: So do all who live to see such times.


Oh man, I am so blessed with friends who know just how to cheer me up. Lord of the Rings quote of the day! :)


"Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

Meant as a joke, but actually very encouraging considering the context. Tolkien was a wise, wise man cuz' The Lord of the Rings has snippets of wisdom for all situations.

"All that is gold does not glitter, not all who wander are lost."

"Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death and judgement, for not even the very wise can see all ends."

"The world is full enough of hurts and mischances without wars to multiply them."

I have decided that the Bible must be made into an epic movie. I'd be much better at understanding and applying the Scripture to my life. 

Back to Orgo. Sigh.

ADHD

So, I find myself once again sitting in Nervous System...not paying attention. I have four tabs open: Gmail, Blogger, Yahoo News, and Five Families. Just a second ago, I was playing Swapples. Just a second before that, I was playing FourPlay. Hendry is droning on about visual receptive fields, a fascinating lecture, I'm sure. But I just cannot find the willpower within myself to pay attention, let alone care about what he is lecturing on. As Sam says, I'm "mad distracting". Now when did that CA boy start picking up East Coast slang? That "mad" better be fixed to a "hella" right quick.


Slept through my Orgo Conference session today and as result, didn't get to pick up my graded midterm. Now I have to do the Walk of Shame to the TA's office. "Uhh, why wasn't I at today's conference? F-family issues, I really don't want to talk about it...it's still too fresh, not to mention my terminal illness, plus my dog got hit by a- GOD. I HATE YOU, JUST GIVE ME MY MIDTERM." 


I have a Korean oral midterm tomorrow and a Orgo Lab midterm right afterwards. And yet, I spent three hours playing Swapples/reading yesterday instead of studying for them. Refer to handy-dandy website about Adult ADHD:


 "Hyperfocus is actually a coping mechanism for distraction—a way of tuning out the chaos...you may be so engrossed in a book, a TV show, or your computer that you completely lose track of time and neglect the things you’re supposed to be doing."


Story of my life.


So I've suspected that I've had ADHD for some time now. When I watch TV on my computer, I NEED to have another window open to play Tetris, Swapples, or Minesweeper. Otherwise, I get bored. I've somehow gradually trained myself to be unable to focus on any single task. I am a Multitasking Monster. We had a guest speaker at the lab meeting today, a post-doc who is working on ADHD in children down at the Kennedy Krieger Institute. I was running a bit late because I waited fifteen minutes for the TA to tell me that he didn't have my test and that he'd send me an email -- an infuriating story I will not go into here. Having speedwalked to Ames from Hodson, I was out of breath and my heart was beating slightly faster than normal. Five minutes after she starts talking, I realize my heart hasn't slowed down. This prompts me to start taking my pulse every two minutes or so. Guess what, my resting heart rate is apparently 80. I then start thinking about how this MUST be correlated with the coffee and cheesecake I had this morning, which starts me brainstorming healthier breakfast options. Then, I get a scary thought. What if my heart rate is a symptom of anxiety? I have been feeling stressed out lately...What if I have some sort of arrhythmia? That'd be kind of cool, actually... 


I'm extracted from my own thoughts when the speaker plays a Youtube video about torturing children with marshmallows. (You should totally look it up, it's hilarious.) I tune in just long enough for her to go over a few graphs (Ooh, pretty colors!) and start talking about her own research about delay discounting using video games. (Delay discounting, from the first five minutes in which I was paying attention, apparently has to do with how subjects deal with reward. Would they rather have a small immediate reward? or a larger but delayed reward? ADHD kids apparently opt for the immediate reward. ME TOO.) When she mentioned that the games they chose for the experiment included Tetris, it was game over for me. I started playing Tetris in my head, got bored, and started playing Swapples. Spent two minutes worrying about my grade for Orgo Lab, which got me thinking about my elevated heart rate again. At the end of her talk, when I realized I had learned next to nothing, I decided to look up adult ADHD.


Observe. Symptoms of ADHD (as they apply to me):


1.) "zoning out" without realizing it, even in the middle of a conversation
2.) extreme distractibility; wandering attention makes it hard to stay on track
3.) difficulty paying attention or focusing, such as when reading/listening to others
4.) poor listening skills; hard time remembering conversations and following directions
5.) have poor self-control
6.) blurt out thoughts that are rude or inappropriate without thinking
7.) have addictive tendencies
8.) have trouble behaving in socially appropriate ways
9.) sense of underachievement
10.) doesn't deal well with frustration
11.) irritability or mood swings
12.) trouble staying motivated
13.) hypersensitivity to criticism
14.) low self-esteem and sense of insecurity
15.) feelings of inner restlessness, agitation
16.) getting bored easily
17.) racing thoughts
18.) talking excessively
19.) doing a million things at once
20.) trouble sitting still; constant fidgeting


There you have it. 20 pieces of evidence that I have adult ADHD. (Now, a lot of you are probably thinking "Oh my God, I have ADHD too!") Some of them seem more an indication of what a bad person/friend I am rather than symptoms of ADHD, but whatever. 


Can't...believe...there is still 30 minutes left in class. GUUUH.

King of the Lab

Still recovering from a post-Thanksgiving break low. I was staring stubbornly at Nervous System lecture notes yesterday thinking, "You want me to do WHAT? No way, Jose." Instead, I read downloaded Christian rap music and read fanfiction for two hours. That's how we do. Tucked in bed and passed out by 10:30 PM. Then I had a really strange dream about Five Families (game on Chrome) and then another about buying a baseball bat. I woke up in the middle of a really passionate debate with my Dream Mother about the advantages of a wooden bat over a metal bat when it comes to assaulting people ("It's all about the reverberation. When you whack someone on the head, you want a nice 'THWAACK', not a 'PINGONGONGONGONG!'" ). With awesome dreams like that, today has got to be a good day.

Opened the fridge to grab a slice of leftover pumpkin cheesecake for breakfast. It suddenly occurred to me that I had eggs and potatoes, the perfect ingredients for a delicious breakfast scramble. Eyes shift casually to the left to locate said eggs. NO EGGS TO BE FOUND. I would usually already be pretty irate about this, but considering just two days ago, half a bag of shredded cheese also went missing in this very same refrigerator, I am about puce with rage. PUCE. When I find you, Fridge Thief, I will rend you limb from limb and STORE you in that refrigerator. Actually, that would be pretty gross. And traumatic, considering I'd probably forget and get the scare of my life when I venture into the fridge for my next snack. But still. Consider yourself punished.

My lab manager isn't in today. I think she took a long weekend for Thanksgiving. Good idea. Wish I had that option. So I get in this morning, aware that my first subject is coming in in less than five minutes. I then proceed to have a small panic attack when I can't find the "ON" button of the iMac. I blindly ran my hands around its entire perimeter. Nothing. I then have to turn on the other computer (a PC, thank God) and google search "How to turn on a Mac". Not surprisingly, several queries popped up, including a very helpful diagram that helped me to quickly locate the elusive button. At this point, the subject had come in, so I set her up with the right paperwork and hurried into the eyetracker room. If my life was perfect, everything would be set up and ready to go. Instead, I have the second panic attack of the day when I discover that I have not been given the Username, let alone the password, to the eyetracker computer. This prompts a rather panicked text to my lab manager, followed quickly by a missed call. The subject is done with her paperwork and sitting complacently at the table. Apologizing for the wait, I run around the corner to find Brian, the grad student who's experiment I was trying to run. After he logs me in, I get a lengthy lecture on how to use the eyetracker. (Sigh) Imagine my horror when after the second trial, the calibration runs stop working and I have to run and get him for the second time in half an hour. As it turns out, it wasn't my fault. Homegirl just had strangely shaped eyes and a jiggly chin.

It's hard to be King of the Lab. Except after that first rush, apparently I have enough time to write a lengthy blog post bitching about missing groceries and lamenting my apparent incompetency. hehe. I already started playing Swapples.




Anyways, now attempting to finish my outline of Lecture 19. You know how hard it is to use a Mac? (This is a question directed at PC users, obviously.) I spent five minutes trying to figure out how to resize my windows so that I could split the screen in half. You'd think the button that says "split" would do so, but NOOO. It split one window into TWO windows. What the hell! No simple dragging to the side of the screen for Mac users, nope. Instead, I was informed by a VERY condescending friend, that all I had to do was drag the lower right hand corner to resize. What, Mac, the other three corners, not to mention four perfectly functional edges, aren't good enough for you? Curse you and your numerous future generations. I will admit, however, the clackity-clack of this keyboard is very soothing and the rapid clicking of my own typing is making me feel very productive indeed.

Ok. NO more procrastinating!

Wait! Just discovered that Mac mouses can scroll SIDEWAYS. OMG.

Birthday Week (edited for le sister)

I've been meaning to blog about my birthday week for the longest time, but I've been feeling really unmotivated about everything and anything recently. I've said multiple times that this week has been one of ups and downs for me and while yesterday was so Up I could hear the wilderness calling (kuKAW), today I'm once again in a bad, bad place. Still, here are a series of discoveries I've made this week:

1.) Orgo isn't that bad --
                Took my first Orgo exam and it wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be. I spent the entire night previous tossing and turning and dreaming about oversleeping. I studied insanely hard for that test, and if it weren't for Orgo as a Second Language, I'd probably still be puzzling over Falzone's crazy CPS questions. Now they just need to come up with Nervous System as a Second Language. Still, now is not the time to get cocky. I think the next test is coming up in around two weeks. College life sucks. NBD.

2.) My brain is no longer able to focus exclusively on one task --
            This has been one of my greatest fears for a while now (along with losing my hair, getting noticeable cavities, being poor, and dying alone), but I've noticed that I'm having more and more difficulties staying on task. I read a few studies about people who multi-task often being less able to focus on single tasks but performing better when it comes to task-switching. This basically means we are almost permanently in a flexible state of mind/attention, a good or bad thing depending on the task at hand. When I watch my TV shows on Hulu, I often have the show playing on the left side of the screen while simultaneously playing Tetris, Minesweeper, or Words With Friend on the right side of the screen. Never reversed. For some reason, I can't focus on my Tetris this way. I should really look into the neural implications of that. GOD, look, off task! Anyways, have I trained myself to become ADD? For the past several lectures, I've found myself spacing off in Nervous System lectures. It's gotten to the point where I'm looking at past midterms and I don't recognize some of the terms. It's like "Did he mention that during lecture? What was the last lecture about anyways? Come to think of it...and the one before that?" Screw City. That's where I am.

3.) Reuniting with the piano after a year is like having sex with a stranger --
          Loud, discordant sex. Everything is strange, yet familiar. Thrilling. Your hands need to explore and remap every surface, and each touch provokes a new, unexpected sound. It takes a while to find a steady rhythm, and occasionally you find yourself getting carried away, going too hard, too fast. Anyways, need to have more sex practice more.

4.) I have the greatest family in the world. And I miss them---
           My sister called me at midnight and we basically chatted it up for half an hour despite my looming Orgo Test. It felt like forever since we'd actually caught up. Damn, I can't wait for Thanksgiving. The day before my birthday, my parents had actually mailed me a care package chock full of food and other goodies. There was also a DVD that said "Abby's 19th Birthday" and a card. For a second, I questioned whether my father forgot that I was turning 19 and was sending me pictures/videos from my 18th. Such a trusting daughter I am. Anyways, I decided to exercise my self-control and open them on my birthday. I figured I would need the encouragement before my test. My birthday rolls around and I pop the DVD in. I start reading the card as I wait for it to load. By the time the video started, I'm already bawling. Then my Dad starts tearing up in the video, which makes my Mom start tearing up, and this of course reduces me to a sobbing mess. Tears. All over my keyboard. I blame my father. But the catharsis was good for me. That afternoon, I receive a package in the mail. My sister sent me a Shakespeare insults mug (which I paid for. Ha.) But yessss. Now I can finally put my coffee in a cup that doesn't leak! :D GAAAH. I want to go home so damn badly.

5.) God has blessed me with good friends.
           Every year, I pull a bitch move and do not inform anyone it is my birthday. And of course, each year, the occasional stubborn friend pulls some Sherlock shit and finds out, the hard work put in involuntarily preserving the special date in memory for all posterity. Devious? I think so. Anyways, the birthday wishes I get do make me feel cherished and loved. Especially the picture ones that threaten to force me out of the closet. (hrmhrm) My small group leader had originally asked to meet up, not knowing it was my birthday. She cancelled the day before and I thought nothing of it, only to discover that she had done so to bake me brownies. D: THE LOVE. Then, I get back from small group to find my friends sitting in the kitchen, waiting to surprise me. Cute. :) I was coming back to my room after small group and decided to stick the brownies in the fridge. I waltz into the kitchen/living room area, totally not noticing that the door was shadily closed. I'm halfway into the room before I see Chumin and Roger and I say "hey", not yet registering that there's a few more people sitting in the sofa in my peripheral. It takes me about two more seconds to realize that they are not Bonnie's friends, as I had originally assumed, but mine....the same amount of time it took them to cease their chatter, blink owlishly at me, and shout a belated "SURPRISE!". BEST BIRTHDAY SURPRISE EVER. I think I surprised them more than they surprised me. (; Of course, Jenna on the side; "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO YOUR ROOM." hahahahaha.

6.) Free birthday things bring much happiness --
            I got a free burger + two sides at Ruby Tuesdays and a free $6 coffee at starbucks (venti salted caramel mocha. too sweet, in my opinion) On a semi-relevant note, I also bought myself a Slurpee because it was my birthday and I felt entitled. BLUE RASPBERRY. YUM.

I spent yesterday and the Hibachi Grill and Supreme Buffet with my friends. We also went to the mall. I had made them walk 1.2 miles to the bus stop so we could save on taxi money (I'm a bad friend) so by the time we got to the mall, I just wanted to sit. Needless to say, I didn't buy anything except Starbucks....slowly making my way to Gold level, yes I am. It was gorgeous yesterday, blue skies with not a cloud in sight. Food in my belly, refillable tea in hand, I was at the top of the world. On the entire bus ride home, I was just praising and thanking God for all the different ways he's blessed me in life. School was the furthest thing from my mind. But now I'm sitting in my room in my PJs, looking over Nervous System notes/slides that look completely foreign too me, and praising God is not exactly #1 on my list of things to do right now. I think it's sitting pretty somewhere around #4. But that's just awful of me. Who can't praise God when life is going great? It's the times that are hard that you really need to trust in Him, rely on Him, and give all praise and honor to Him. Easier said then done. Right now I'm praying that he'll help me to surrender all my thoughts and insecurities, all my iniquities to Him. God, it's hard.

Sometimes problems are easier to solve with a few shots of tequila. Falling sooooo short right now.

Failure to Paste

I finished my first Orgo Lab two weeks ago like it was NBD. I synthesized and recrystallized some salicylic acid and I thought I was the shit. This week, I go into Orgo Lab expecting it to be pretty much the same thing. So confident was I, that I even had the gall to bring my iPod. I thought my lab life could use some Mika-spice. The professor gave us permission to listen to music as long as we didn't distract anybody else or lose control of our reactions. Who's dumb enough to do that? I'll just keep my dance moves to a two-foot radius, you know?

First few minutes of lab go great. I go to the reagent hood and get all the materials I need. The reaction goes great, everything is clear, colorless, and exciting as always. Then comes the part where we add water, ice, and wait for ten minutes. Ten minutes? What better time to un-tss-un-tss to some Foster the People? I'm dumping the 10 mL of water and the 10 mL of ice into my solution, bawling at all the kids to outrun my gun, when Andrew, the TA, comes over.

"That doesn't look like a paste."
"Eh?"
 "Did you wait until your solution became a paste?"
"WHAT?"

A quick perusal of the procedure reveals that I had skipped an ENTIRE step, where I was supposed to soak my solution in a ice-water bath while stirring it into a white paste. I felt like I was Neville, being chastised for stirring five times counterclockwise instead of six times in the reverse direction.

"ANDREW. WHAT DO I DO? IS THIS SALVAGEABLE?"
"Well. All your product is in there. So you can't exactly go back. But don't worry, all the molecules you need for the final product are still in there. Just move on to the next step."
"Guh."

Major fuck-up number one.

Throughout the next three hours, I snuck glances at everyone's aspirin crystals, comparing their yields to mine. They had about twice as many crystals as I did. Balls.

Then, one of the final steps of the lab was to recrystallize the product again to ensure purity. Because this was the second lab, the rules were very general. "Psh. I can do this." I thought. I had a great yield for salicylic acid from the previous lab (a great yield that I lost because of my failure to paste).  The key is being patient. Instead of waiting merely ten minutes for my product to crystallize, I waited twenty. I dared to hope.

I finished the lab in a total of about four hours. I'm all cleaned up and getting ready to go when my lab neighbor asks me, "Is this what your product looked like at this point?" He's got his solution in an ice bath.

"What step are you on? Did we have to do an ice bath?"
"Andrew said it's a given when it comes to the recrystallization process."
"FFFFFFFUUHHHH."

So yeah, if I end up with half as much aspirin as everybody else...I have no one to blame but myself. I think this is God chastening me for my hubris. I pretty much thought/think everyone in my lab neighborhood is an imbecile. But now, I know that I am the greatest imbecile. Sigh.

I hope lab gets better. But one thing is for sure, I'M NEVER LISTENING TO MUSIC DURING LABS AGAIN.

Keeping in Step With the Spirit

It's 11:41PM right now in Baltimore, and I've been lying in bed since 10:10. It seems, despite my best efforts to sleep at a reasonable time, my mind is determined to deprive me of much needed rest. I spent the labor day three-day weekend studying Orgo and looking up summer research opportunities. I feel stressed out about things that haven't even started their application processes yet. Such is the life of a pre-med. Still, I came to several realizations this weekend. 1.) I want to do something abroad. Either a semester or a summer, hopefully in Australia/New Zealand.  2.) I am going to take a glide year.

For those of you who don't know or use a different term, a glide year is the year between undergrad and med schools that some applicants choose to take to rest, bolster their application, and prepare for the next level of hell.

In the little over one week I've spent back in Baltimore, I've already dropped a class, dropped a major, contemplated another minor, and entertained the thought of studying abroad. I start work next week. School starts for real this week. While I never feel more lost in the grand scheme of life than when I'm in Baltimore, at the same time, nowhere else do I feel the security of Christ to this extent. After meeting up with some church peers/mentors, I really feel that God is telling me to trust in Him. Even more so, it seems that He is calling me to get to know Him more, to deepen my relationship with Him. I still struggle with what that means -- how to hear His voice, how to see his will for me. But I feel that I am in the right place and the right situation to learn.

When I lie in bed, my mind constantly goes over the different things I could do to be better. The professors I should get to know in order to garner a good letter of rec, the tutorials I should take that would look good on my app, the research opportunities I should pursue to enrich my work experience...the list just goes on. Talking with Jen today, something she said really resonated with me. God doesn't love us for what we do, what we accomplish. He loves us for who we are. My identity isn't determined by what I do and how much I do. I need to learn to be content with my identity in Christ -- a beloved daughter who is unique in His sight. God gave each of us different gifts. Just like you can't use a screwdriver to do the work of a hammer, I can't force my gifts to do what I want them to do. Instead, I must be patient, trust in the Lord, until he provides an opportunity to use my gifts the way He intended and to glorify His name.

I don't know if medicine is the path that God has laid out for me. But I do know that in order to get where God wants me to go, I need to walk by faith and keep in step with the Spirit. I will go wherever my Lord leads me.

Second Day of School

The first day of school has come and gone and now I'm halfway through second. Already, I've questioned and doubted myself and almost dropped my double-major. I have a pretty packed schedule, class everyday from 9AM to ~4:30PM, except on Fridays when I have Orgo Lab until 6:30 PM, but most of those hours are filled with my RA hours. I'm actually supposed to be doing my RA duties right now. (; Still, when there are no subjects in the lab, it's a great time to catch up on schoolwork, or as is the case right, just think.

I might not actually be able to do my 9 hours a week RA schedule this semester, which would totally bum me out and destroy my college plans. With my current load, I'll be taking 19.5 credits, three of which are research credits. That's only 5 classes though -- Orgo, Orgo Lab, Korean I, Rev. Ref. and Inequality of China, and Nervous System I. I'm not sure if this is a crazy schedule...will find out today. Still, I want to avoid dropping any research credits because I want to finish up that requirement this year. That would free up my next two years for clinical research, which I am very interested in looking into. If I drop a class, I'd probably drop China, but that would force me to take over two East Asian studies classes each semester in my Senior year. Suck suck suck. I actually stayed up for an additional hour last night thinking about these things.

I spent my down time at research yesterday emailing the Dean of Academic Advising and my department head/advisor about my conundrum. To overload on credits, I need approval from the Dean of Academic Advising. He told me to get a letter of "support" from my department head/advisor. She hasn't responded yet. :\ Why must they make my life difficult? Let me slowly kill myself in peace.

Anyways, on a more optimistic note, I'm getting along great with the new lab manager! She's from Australia and we had a great time yesterday talking about cultural differences. They don't have pumpkin pie...or THANKSGIVING. (gasp) Even though it's totally a "duh" realization, it's still mindblowing that they have no pilgrims or turkey in November. No Sasquatch...Satchmo...uh...Shaniqua?...whatever that Native American corn master's name was. Also, their Christmas takes place in their Summer. Their Santa dashes through the bush! D: I think she's also open to getting me a lot more involved in the lab this year. Score!

Nervous System, China, and Orgo Lab are the only classes I have yet to sit in on. I'm excited and terrified all at once. ): Still praying that everything works out. I keep on reflecting on PR's message from last week, about how we weren't made to always push ourselves to the limit. But how do I avoid doing that when I don't know what my limits are? Also, in my QTs on Monday, I came across this verse:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"

-- 2 Corinthians 12:9

Now I just have to learn how to be content in my own weakness.

End of Summer

I can't believe summer is coming to a close already. Looking back, it's hard to process that I already spent over two months in Taiwan and another one chilling/eating in San Jose. Great things were done this summer but I can't let the fading memory of those things hold me back from doing many more this semester. I'm always really sad after saying goodbye to my family. I DIDN'T CRY THIS TIME. YES. That part will come after I'm all moved into my new single and the realization dawns that, once again, I am alone.

I worry about a lot of things when I leave the house. First and foremost, the dogs. I miss my babies so much. ): But after seeing how suddenly Sebastian passed, I'm more and more concerned for Sonatina. I don't want another situation where the bad news is relayed over the phone and goodbyes are left unsaid. I also worry about who will keep the peace in the family when I'm gone. I don't have the best of tempers, but I have the worst of guilty consciences. I feel like this summer, after spending a week with Dad on his turf, I have a better understanding of my Dad as a person, and consequently, the problems that this family continues to stumble over. Still, in my absence, all I can do is pray and surrender all these problems to God.

It's like I've lost all concept of time. Last year passed by so quickly. In fact, it feels like just a few months ago when I boarded a plane to go to Baltimore for the first time, a pre-frosh looking for something outside of what she already knew. Now that I've seen what lies on the other side, I wish I were back here where home is. Still, I am constantly reassured that I am in the right place, that I have allowed myself to be led by God. The near and distant future are still blank to me right now -- the new concerns this semester will bring, what to do next summer, how to get into med school -- but I feel that each new obstacle that I tackle only brings me closer to God and one step closer to realizing His plan.

It feels like I've learned so much this summer and at the same time, nothing at all.

Adventure of Mishaps

Dropped off the kids at school today with The Dentist and said my goodbyes. Slept through the entire train ride to Taoyuan. Got to the station and realized I probably should have called beforehand to make sure all arrangements were in order. After seeing nobody with an "ADVENT" sign at the airport, I called the number he emailed out a few weeks ago. His sister picked up and seemed very annoyed when she told me, "He's not using this number this year." Oh snap. It was at this point that I didn't know anything about the church I was supposed to go to except that it was within 760 m of the train station. Not the name. Not the street. Nothing.

For the next hour, I dragged my luggage around looking for wifi, laptop in hand. I started asking convenience store clerks if they knew about any Christian churches nearby. After hitting up Familymart, Hi-life, Starbucks, McDonalds, I finally found a clerk at 7-11 who was like "Umm...I think so. Canaan?"

YESSSS.

She gave me directions and the street name. I knew it was a 3-minute taxi ride, so I decided to be cheap and walk it. I'm here safely now, by God's grace, and I want some pearl tea.

Peace.

LAST NIGHT. SNIFFLE

I'm chilling with Jenny in my room and it's like...11 PM. She's still studying Social Studies for her massive exams tomorrow. I'm watching True Blood. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door and Jenny is shadily summoned outside. Five minutes later, The Dentist, May, and Jenny come back upstairs with two bags of goodbye gifts for me. D: SNIFFLE. Jenny bought my candy, chocolates, and chocolate cookies. May made me a little stuffed rabbit. Aiyi bought me a journal cover and a handmade Amis keychain. We totally group-hugged it out and I did NOT cry (Thank you very much, Amy Wang).

God really blessed me with this family. They took me in for an entire month, housed me, fed me (extremely well), and went out of their way to make me feel at home. I got really close with May especially and I was just starting to get to know Jenny better. Hopefully, we'll continue to keep in contact. I've repeatedly invited them to America. May wants to come to MIT. :D That would be so awesome! I'm definitely going to keep them in my prayers as I leave tomorrow morning. May God bless them just as He has blessed me by bringing them to me.

I WILL NOT CRY.

Until I get on the train.

Last Day at the Mennonite Hospital

This morning, I walk into the door of the Holistic Department and immediately, three people stand up in their cubicles and exclaim "She's here! She's come!" I'm like "Uhh...what the hell?" and I am whisked away to the conference room. (I'm being whisked a lot lately.) At first, Pastor Judy hands me the score to "Because He Lives" and says "Will you sing this for us?" I'm wanted to say "I'd rather not." but instead I said "Can I change the key?" After much discussion, it was established that we seen in very different ranges. haha. I have a tranny voice...they have Chinese opera voices. Not very compatible. Anyways, they ultimately decide to have me play the keyboard for them when they sing for the patients downstairs. I'm freaking out because I hate performing for the public without practicing, but before I know it, I'm crammed in the elevator with the keyboard, four associate pastors, and two pastors. Balls.

Things went pretty well, except for one minor mishap when I ended the song before it was actually over. A lot of "shit shit shit" and some one-handed playing while adjusting the volume went down. Then it turns out that Pastor Chao, who USUALLY plays the piano or sings for them, was just standing around "managing" the sound system. I was like "WHY AREN'T YOU DOING THIS??" She shrugs, "I forgot my uniform...upstairs" TURD. If she weren't taking me KTVing (karoaking) later today, I'd probably be pretty ticked off. haha.

OK, my task today is really just to deliver the thank-you letters I wrote for the people I spent the most time with.

Oh! Dude, God is totally forcing me to practice witnessing. First there was the testimony on Sunday. Then just now, Ya Wen found out that today is my last day. She insisted on treating me to some pearl tea. Conversation went something like this:

"TODAY'S YOUR LAST DAY?? NO ONE TOLD ME! I'M BUYING YOU PEARL TEA."
"Oh no, you don't have to."
"I INSIST."
"No, really--3Q milk tea, half sweetness, no ice. Thanks."

hahahahaha. No shame. 3Q milk tea turned out to be milk tea with ju ruo (jelly strips), coconut jelly, and red bean. Suprisingly good. Anyways, for some reason, she starts asking me really deep questions about the Christian faith. I know that she was given notice about a week ago, and that she was struggling with some things. All the more so because when she was hired two months ago, she wasn't a Christian. I think God really helped me in that conversation because at first, I was all like "Oh God, please don't let me say the wrong thing and turn her off religion forever. " but by the end, I was like sharing Bible verses. haha. Praise the Lord. I was afraid that she would bring up some questions that I couldn't answer, but things turned out all right. Ya Wen is a super caring girl. She's a social worker that is a social worker because she actually cares. It's not just a job for her. I really hope that whatever went down here doesn't change her passion for helping others.

But seriously, getting a lot of practice for missions. Less than 24 hours now!

Dinner with the Pastors

I was mistaken. It wasn't lunch, it was dinner! And WHAT a dinner. We went to a hole in the wall Italian place that was recommended by the president of the Shoufeng chapter of Mennonite Hospital. Apparently, there's a seafood chowder bread bowl that is to die for. At 2 PM, Pastor Chao was summoned to an IRB meeting. (Yeah, she's IRB. hiss!) At 5:30 PM, she calls Pastor Mei Hua and whispers shadily that the meeting is running along, we should go first. So Pastor Mei Hua and Pastor Judy whisk me off on their motorcycles. We get there, and the place is pretty small. It looks pretty fancy too. I looked at the menu and I said "Oh holy shit." Everything was above 230 NT (about $7-8) Ok, that's nothing in the US, but that's expensive in Taiwan!

The first course was a salad. Nothing special but I liked the sauce. Some sort of orange caesar dressing. While devouring this, I realized that I've started to like tomatoes. I'm getting OLD. The whole time we're eating, we're joking about how we have to chew each bite for five minutes so we could stall until Pastor Chao arrives.
The next course is a purple sweet potato soup. I thought it was taro at first, but it tasted kind of like sweet potato bisque. Very good.
I was too cheap to order the seafood chowder bowl (I was being treated, had to be polite.) Instead, I got the Smoked Chicken Pasta bowl. MUCH better than I anticipated. I even ate the slices of garlic it came with. Made me really really crave some pesto pizza. Mmmm.
This is the seafood chowder bowl. Both Pastor Mei Hua and Pastor Judy ordered it because it's the restaurant's signature dish. It was really cute to watch them drink the soup while gently sawing away at the bread. hahaha. Also, when they were ordering it, they said "We have to eat it. What if Zhu Ge (the president) quizzes us on how good it was?" Wahahaha. Chinese people and their manners. Teehee.

Anyways, until then, Pastor Chao had NOT shown up. It's almost 7 now. We're more than half way done with our meal. At this point, I thought it would be a good time to take a bathroom break. I excuse myself, walk over to the bathroom, open the door, and stare aghast. It's a SLIPPER SQUATTING TOILET. IN A FANCY RESTAURANT. Who DOES that?? Pastor Judy sees me turn pale and scuttle away from the bathroom.

"What's wrong?"

"Squat."

"Excuse me?"

"It's a squatting toilet."

"...So?"

"I...don't know how to use them."

"..."

"WAHAHAHAHA."

She then grabs me, tells Pastor Mei Hua to stay put, and whisks me to her motorcycle. I keep on insisting I can hold it but she glares me down and tells me that that sort of behavior increases my chances of getting bladder infections. No really, that's what she said. It's kind of drizzling at this point, but we jump on her motorcycle and drive to the doctors' dormitories which is a little ways up the street. We pound on the door shadily until someone lets us in. Then Pastor Judy begins to call people asking if they're home and where they live. While we're waiting for the elevator, she looks at me and says, "You really don't know how to use a squatting toilet? They're more sanitary!" At my doubtful expression, she suddenly pulls a deep squat, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DORMITORY LOBBY. I'm like "OH, dear!" She's all smiling like nothing horribly embarrassing is transpiring: "Just like this!" (sigh) Gotta love the Taiwanese. I ended up going to Pastor Cai's place to use the bathroom. They were all laughing at me. I'm pretty sure that's what they are going to remember me for in three years.

When we get back to the restaurant, Pastor Chao STILL hasn't arrived. It's 6:58 PM. Dinner was supposed to be at 5:30. Apparently, the really old dude came in for the IRB meeting and we all know the thing about really old dudes. Blahblahblahblahblah. I felt really bad for her because she had't eaten lunch either. ): Anyways, she came at around 7:15 and ordered the seafood bowl too. Her reason? "Zhu Ge is going to ask." hahaha.

The meal came with coffee too, but I wasn't terribly impressed. This is the creme brulee. The layer of carmelized sugar was really good but the pudding underneath was too flan-y for my taste. Still, overall a very good dinner.

When it came time to pay, Pastor Judy and Pastor Mei Hua put the money on the table and look over at Pastor Chao.

Pastor Chao: "Heh. heh. Do they take card?"

They all glare at her. Then Pastor Chao turns to me, "Hey Abby, can I borrow 1000NT?" hahahaha. I'm pretty used to this because Pastor Chao never carries cash. She always borrows money from me and returns it the next day. I find it hilarious. The other Pastors are all yelling at her because they're like "We're supposed to be treating her!" hahahaha.

After dinner, we went over to Pastor Judy's house to see her son. I taught him two years ago during ADVENT. OH MY GOD. Kids grow so fast! In two years, he went from a cute little boy to a little man with a deep deep voice. D: He's still cute though. haha. And apparently, he's quite the smart one. I was actually pretty happy to see him again. I remember him in particular because when I started giving the altar call, he knew more about Jesus than I did. haha "Jesus is the Son of God who came down to forgive our sins..." in CHINESE, nonetheless. Turns out he's a PK. Now it all makes sense. haha. They live above a CHURCH for Chrissakes. hahaha.

I come back home and I tell Dr. Liu and May about my pee ordeal. They both immediately drop into a squat: "Like this!" D: I'm like "WHAT IS WITH YOU TAIWANESE PEOPLE??" And May even goes so far as to take her pants off to demonstrate. wahahahaha. I'm like "GOT IT. PLEASE PUT THAT BACK ON." Lesson of the day: Never tell Taiwan people you don't know how to pee squatting unless you want to be thoroughly mortified.

Catching Up and Winding Down

It feels like a long time has passed since I posted last. Just a fair warning, this post is going to be relatively pic-heavy. I'm down to my last days in Hualien and people are clambering to get a piece of this American. I kid. A little.

Here is my favorite picture with Dr. Xu. He didn't believe that I could take a picture of the both of us. Never question the skills of a camera whore.

After going to Shoufeng on my last Friday, Pastor Chao, Dr. Xu, and I went to the hospital restaurant to get some lamb. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture before I devoured the whole thing. SO good. Mmm. I'm a little less fond of this picture because it proliferates the stereotype that all Asians only have one pose. That's why I chose to go with the less tradition "Gun Frame Face" pose. Also as a side note, the person who we grabbed to take this picture was a HEART SURGEON. So mad props to that random stranger. haha.
On Saturday, I went to lunch with Cai Hui Aiyi. I was a little apprehensive at first because she's been known to have a unstable temper. If she likes you, she REALLY likes you. For example, she keeps on giving me things on her desk. "You like this? You can have it. Is this pretty? You can have it." But if she doesn't like you...run. I've seen her face change. She was yelling at one of the other social workers, and I came around the corner and she was all smiles. Chills. Down the spine. (shudder) Still, she's a very nice person when you're on her good side. This is a picture of her family. Her husband is a pastor and their kid is only in middle school. He's quite the character. When Cai Hui Aiyi got her womb removed, he clutched her stomach and cried, "MY HOUSE. MY HOUSE. " WAHAHAHAHA.
I usually don't like pasta, but this bacon penne was DELICIOUS. The sauce was a little salty a little sweet. The bacon flavor was clearly absorbed by the cream. There was also little pieces of broccoli in it. Mmm. Not too cheesy, just the way I like it.
There was some OK tomato soup before this and some really good coffee after, but they weren't too special. Thus, no pictures. The dessert was milk pudding with mango sauce. The pudding was good both with or without the tangy mango.
Cai Hui Aiyi's son had to leave early for class (on a SATURDAY for Chrissakes). When we were finishing lunch, she asked me where I had gone on my trip. When I told her "Eating. Everywhere." she was pretty horrified. Her husband and her insisted on taking me to Li Yu Tan. It looked like a lake to me, but they insisted it was different. Anyways, the mountains around Li Yu Tan look like a specific type of fish ("Li Yu"), thus its name.
Pretty gorgeous, yeah? You can take one of those swan/dragon paddle boat things around. However, they warned me that the lake is so damn big that some people who paddle out can't summon up the energy to paddle back. hahaha. I don't think that would be a problem for Tatiana. She's strong....like bull. They also have water shows some time, similar to Bellagio.May finished her finals last week, so as a reward, her Mom took her to the night market. There are two major nightmarkets near Ji An in Hualien and this particular one we went to is known more for its games than its food. I wasn't particularly hungry, so I was totally down with that.
May's pretty good with games. We went BB shooting, dart throwing, DDRing, pinball rolling, etc. etc. etc. I swear we threw down like...$10 for her to play games. haha
After shooting 50 pinballs, she won a bow and arrow set.
Victorious.

Last night was my last night with Professor Liang because he has to attend a 3-day course in Taipei. We went to O Xiang, the steak place that I went to for Pastor Chao's birthday. Didn't take many pictures because I had pretty much the same stuff. A four-course meal for 5 people cost around $55. Gotta love Taiwan. Unfortunately, I did not get to treat. The Dentist glared me down. BUT, I am happy to report that the night previous, I did manage to wrangle the bill for Da Tu Dou dessert. All I had to do was take advantage of a small child. No biggie.

Oh, exciting things! I was supposed to practice drums on Saturday to accompany the children's choir on Sunday. However, they decided that the children would not be performing so we didn't practice. Come Sunday morning, they're like, "Oh, why not. Perform" so I had to pull last minute drumming skills out of my bum. It went all right, praise Jesus. haha. After that, I gave my testimony to the youth/children's section. I think it went pretty all right considering I condensed my life story into 5 minutes of awkward Chinese. hahahaha. Anyways, I can only pray, do my best, and give the rest to God. Some of the older children are struggling with stress issues. As I mentioned earlier, one of their members had recently committed suicide. I really hope that my testimony, however boring/awkward it was, really gives them some hope or helps them to turn to God with their problems. Still, it was good practice for the next three weeks. I also discovered that I take after my Dad. I was sweating like a BEAST up there. whoowee.

Today, the associate pastors want to take me out to lunch so I'll definitely be posting those pictures soon.

A few days ago, I was freaking out because I wanted to leave letters for people who have taken care of me over the past month but I had no paper. I didn't want to tear pages out of my notebook, which would just look atrocious. That night, I prayed and was like "I NEED STATIONARY." No joke. The next day, Dr. Liu decided she wanted to buy some new books and I managed to sneak upstairs and buy some + a fancy black pen. Praise the Lord. Now all I have to do is write them. hahaha. Whee!

Lied To All My Life

Yesterday, we went to go buy some "xiao cai", little plates of food, for dinner. There was some pretty standard fare -- pig ear, seaweed, soy sauce eggs, chicken gizzard, liver, etc. -- but there was this one item that completely stumped me. I had no choice but to ask Pastor Chao.

"Mei Yu Chuan Dao...what's that?"
"Pig tail."
"No. Those can't be pig tails. Those are straight."
Pastor Chao and the store owner: "..."
"WAHAHAHAHAHA"

Apparently, we've been lied to all our lives. Contrary to cartoon depiction, pigs have STRAIGHT tails!! D: They are NOT curly, I repeat, NOT CURLY. The deception in our society! Outrageous! Next thing you know, they're going to tell me that cows aren't actually black and white or that the tasmanian devil doesn't actually turn into a tornado. BLASPHEMY.

I think the child inside of me died a little.

ALSO. There are two pregnant ladies at Mennonite Hospital and I've been praying for some time now that I will be around when they give birth. Why? So I can see what happens to the mother's stomach after the ejection. I've always imagined that the mom's stomach magically goes back to normal flatness plus/minus some serious stretch marks. Today, one of the ladies started getting contractions. When I shared my life-long desire with Pastor Chao, she laughed at me...again. Apparently, the stomach slowly returns to normal size. The bump doesn't magically disappear. I'm SO disappointed. Still, I can't wait to see this lady when she's done. :D

Typhoon Incoming!

A typhoon draws near. I can feel it. I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth. I can smell it in the air.

WhuWHAT? Was that TWO Lord of the Rings quotes seamlessly fitted together into one reference? YES. YES IT WAS.

But yeah, a typhoon is coming. Pastor Chao showed me the weather picture and it looks like Taiwan is about to be run over/swallowed by a massive swirly angry thing. haha. Still, in open defiance of nature's wrath, Pastor Chao and I decided to go shopping. Outside. On a motorcycle. With no umbrellas. So intense.

She took me to a famous ice place. Soooo good.

The ice was lightly drizzled with caramel and condensed milk. It was really packed in there too. I was kind of irritated with how dense was until I realized that we were supposed to throw the balls in.
I ordered the combo which comes with "yu yuan" (taro balls), a "di gua yuan" (sweet potato ball), and some tapioca balls with red bean in them. They were all super Q, just the way I like it. When the server delivered this small bowl of balls, it was steaming. I could then decide if I wanted to eat them warm or mix them into my ice. I ultimately decided to spoon the balls into a little mouthfuls of ice so that they would be cold but not lose their chewy texture. [Oh, side note! I learned that the term "QQ" which means chewy actually is derived from a Taiwanese phrase. Not slang as I originally thought.]

It was a very...interesting experience. Not so much the food (which was delicious), but the protecting of the food from insects. There's a specific bug that flies around when a typhoon is approaching. They're harmless, and the natives are always very nice to them. Instead of killing them, they gently brush them off their clothes, or in our case, gently spoon them out of our bowls.
This unfortunate fly landed in Pastor Chao's bowl. The sugar stuck his wings together and he kind of...drowned. Sweet misery. Anyways, we had to eat with one hand while using the other hand to form a dome over our bowls.

Anyways, shopping with Pastor Chao is super fun because she buys the most random things. We were trying to burn time before Melody got out from Math tutorial. She bought 10 bottles of aloe juice. Not a pack of 10. Ten separate bottles. Two cranberry/pomegranate, two mangosteen/mango, two pure aloe, two citrus. As a matter of etiquette, I carried the basket around the store, and later the bag as we went shopping for a bag. haha. The store was kind of pricey, even by American standards. Pastor Chao and I pulled a Neiman Marcus and went around guessing the prices of everything. We're so classy it hurts.

I am being picked up at 6:55 AM tomorrow morning by Pastor Chao because we need to catch a 7:20 bus to Shoufeng. (sigh) I don't know if I'm going to be more tired or less tired during Advent...or if I can even feel anything anymore at that point. haha

Lately, I've been praying that God will help me to be more comfortable with using the gifts he's given me to serve and glorify him. With Pastor Chao, he's slowly giving me the opportunity to practice accompanying on the piano/guitar. On Sunday, I will be playing the drums for the choir and giving my testimony to the children/young adult section. I'm super nervous, but I just pray that God will help me to be an effective communicator and give me the words to speak. Let my tongue be used by the Holy Spirit!

Now that Daniel isn't going on ADVENT and Priscilla and I are lieutenant captains, I have a feeling that I'm going to have to take on a more hands on rather than "guide from behind" approach. I continue to pray that God will help me to step out of my comfort zone. Today during devos, I read that if we sow generously, we will reap generously. This year, I really want to build lasting relationships with each and every one of my students. No more apathy! I want to give them my all so that God's harvest will be abundant. I pray that God prepares my heart for missions -- a serving, selfless heart. But most of all, I pray for love. My own supply of love is inadequate and sometimes I feel like my heart is dried and withered like a old man's behind. But with God, I believe that I can have love like an ocean, joy like a fountain, and peace like a river.

I'm keeping all you soon-to-be ADVENTers in my prayers as well as all you friends at home (whether it's Cali, Baltimore, New York, Pennsylvania, China, Australia, Paraguay... I'm trying really hard not to forget anywhere because that'd just be awkward...you're all on my list!)

May God's grace pour down on you! :) Smile!

Code 999

I'm sitting around finding worship song lyrics on the computer when all of a sudden a disembodied voice announces over the intercom:

"Code 999. Code 999. Please report to the ER. Code 999."

I'm like "Uh. What the heck does that mean?" but before I can turn around and ask Pastor Chao, she's already pulling on a surgical mask and running downstairs. The pastor and other associate pastors soon follow suit. My face must have reflected how "WHAT THE HELL??" I was feeling because the secretary, who was the only person left on my side of the room, turned to explain

"Code 999-"

She's interrupted by the shrill sound of the phone ringing. The head of the Social Worker department picks up.

"Yes? I understand. (hang up) EVERYBODY DOWNSTAIRS."

Now the entire other side of the room pull on surgical masks and run out the door. Not briskly walk. RUN. I am still slightly stunned as I hear the rapid clicking of high heels fade away down the stairs. (That's when you KNOW it's serious. They didn't even bother waiting for the elevator.)

Now the secretary and I are the only people left in the office. I turn to her and gesture between us. "Does everybody include us?"

She laughs and shakes her head. At this point, I'm torn between being all "WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?" and being a calm adult who waits until everybody gets back before asking questions. I settle for sidling up next to the secretary and sending her intent stares until she tells me what's up.

Apparently, Code 999 means that a patient has just been rushed into the ER who is in critical condition. Like literally teetering between life and death. The associate pastors and social workers all rush over to the ER to pray over the patient. Whew, for a moment there, I thought they were heading into a life threatening situation...like a holdup or something.

Anyways, that's the most exciting thing that's happened this week. haha. Yesterday, I got the opportunity to shadow Dr. Xu. If the name sounds familiar, he's the family doctor with the ginormous ego who told me I was overweight. haha. My feelings toward him are slightly less bitter and acrimonious, but we're definitely not seeing Lizzy Bennet change over here. (So Amy, you shut up about me being fickle.) I acknowledge that he is a very smart man who has studied in many different fields of medicine (He does internal medicine, family medicine, gynecology, urology, just to name a few). Last Friday, I get a call on my cell phone from him and he insisted on seeing me. For some reason, he thought I was leaving that weekend. Anyways, we met up for about half an hour, just the two of us, and had a good talk. First, he pulled out all his certificates and medical licenses and went over them in meticulous detail. Then, he proceeded to read me all the letters he's received from his past students...even the ones in English. haha. Even though he has a penchant for tooting his own horn, I started to grow quite fond of his laugh. Now...imagine a orangutan, laughing and swinging his arms. "OOOH OOH HA HA". Kind of like that. But funnier. And with more clapping.

haha. He's hilarious. Still, there's definitely a lot I can learn from him. He was throwing out medical trivia left and right. How to tell the weight of the fetus just from how many centimeters the tip of the mother's bulge is from the belly button. All the different mnemonic devices he uses to memorize symptoms (JACCOL: Jaundice, Anemia, Cyanosis, Clubbing, Ocedema, LAP). He's a total Dr. Chatterbox. All the other staff are afraid of him because once he starts talking, he doesn't stop. They have to politely tell him to shut up. WAHAHAHA. Anyways, he asks me if I'd want to see him in action and I say, "Yeah, sure, why not." Just for him, I go out and buy a notebook. I know he's going to talk a lot, and I want him to feel like I'm there to learn. haha. However, about three patients in, I'm bored to tears.

In Taiwan, doctors get their own rooms. People drop their insurance card into a slot in the door and are admitted directly into the doctor's office. There's no front desk or anything. Dr. Xu makes sure to tell all his patients that I am a PRE-MEDICAL student (emphasis on PRE) who is there to learn from him. Then, as he screens his patients, he occasionally turns to me and asks me questions, answering them before I can open my mouth. I learned to just nod.

"Do you know what TSH is? It's thyroid stimulating hormone. Similar to the follicle-stimulating hormone in women. It plays a large role in hyper and hypothyroidism. Did I tell you about the time that I spotted a case of hyperthyroidism and saved my patient's life?---blah blah"

I took copious notes. Anyways, I found it a bit strange how many tests he ordered for each patient. I think it's a Taiwan/universal health care thing. Every patient walked away with a prescription for at least one drug and most had tests ordered. It seemed that Dr. Xu was convinced that all his patients were in danger of having subclinical hypothyroidism. "You have high blood pressure. Do you know this could be an indicator of hypothyroidism? Let's order some tests just to be sure." He is very thorough and obviously cares very much for his patients, but I think there's a fine line between being meticulous and being paranoid. About 80% of the patients that came through his door were told that they could have hypothyroidism and should be tested. I'm not even exaggerating.

I was amused by how he continued to toot his own horn in front of the patients. ("Did you know I studied urology too? Oh yes, I know a lot about many things!") He took his time with each patient and the atmosphere was very different from what I'm used to at Kaiser. Some of his patients were in there for over 20 minutes. And, before they left, he prayed with/over them. Some of them were ambushes.

"Thank you for coming today. (GRAB HAND. BEGIN PRAYER)" I was so stunned, I didn't even have time to close my eyes before he started. haha.

A lot of his patients request him by name. They know, with him, they're in good hands (If hands could talk you to death).

I was a little irked when he'd turn to me and ask me questions about specific diseases and expect me to know the answer. When I gave him what I soon named The Look, he'd say, "What? You don't even know this?" in front of the patients and everything. I don't think what I told him about me just finishing my first year in undergrad really sank in. He treats me like an intern or resident. (sigh) Still, I'm very grateful that I had an opportunity to learn from him. I really like the attitude he takes toward healthcare and patient interaction. I learned that even though his words can be belittling or hurtful, he has absolutely no idea. He thinks he's being encouraging. haha. Or he's just taking the opportunity to tell you what he knows. By the end, whenever he'd ask me "Do you know...", I'd pick up my pen and respond, "Not yet."

haha.

Praise the Lord! I learn new things every day! I can't believe I only have one more week in Hualien before ADVENT starts.

Tardy Food Blog

OK. I actually went to this place before the night clinic, but I totally forgot to blog about it. Some of the social workers were going out to lunch and they invited me along. Pastor Chao had a meeting with the other pastors, so I was like "Yeah, sure why not." At the last moment though, two of the social workers...which happened to be the two that I actually knew and talked to, were called away to do something else. I was like "GUH. I see awkwardness in my future!" It actually turned out pretty all right, and I made some new friends. And the food was AWESOME. :D Always a big fat plus in my book.

So they wanted to try this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that opened a few months ago called "Xiao Xiao Jia Wu" which means...Little...something..House. :)

There are five meals to choose from and I was really in the mood for bread so I ordered the French Toast.

This starter salad was a pleasant surprise. I got to choose between He Feng (Japanese sweet/sour dressing) or Caesar dressing. Of course I went with the He Feng. Those little orange things in the corner? I initally thought they were radish...but they're chunks of SMOKED SALMON. DDD: OMGGGG. So good!

The set also came with your choice of iced tea, coffee, or juice. Of course, I went with the grapefruit juice. Mmm. Look at those THICK slices of bread. The bread was coated with just the right amount of powdered sugar and maple syrup. It also came with mango and boysenberry jam. I wasn't really a fan of either though. They were too sweet. I just really wanted some bread. hahaha. The fresh fruit on the side included guava, pineapple, and watermelon.
Dong Mei Aiyi was eyeing my toast, so I offered her a slice. In return, she gave me one of her mini-pizzas. I thought the pizzas were going to be gross and American, but these pizzas had squid, olives, and prosciutto on them. Also, instead of tomato sauce, they were topped with mango/tomato/red onion salsa. Mmmmm. Did not regret that trade at all.

Yeah, lunch was absolutely scrumptious. The whole set was only 150 NT, about $5. I was already getting my money out when Chu Hong Jie informed me that Cai Hui Aiyi (one of the ones who couldn't make it) had already paid for me. I'm like "WHAT."

grr. I stormed back to Death Floor but I got totally shut down. I made her promise to let me treat her to something in the future. haha.

Oooh, Drama in the Holistic Care Department. Drama with a capital D. haha. The other social worker who couldn't make it, Ya Wen Jie, I may have mentioned her before but she's new. The patients love her because she has the energy of a girl half her age (She's 28.) However, Ya Wen sometimes oversleeps and twice now has been late to work. She couldn't come to lunch because at the last moment, she was called away by a case. Several weeks ago, she had asked to have the afternoon of this particular day off because she had a Flower Arrangement Class. When Dong Mei Jie (the Head of the Social Worker Department) asked her if she was still taking the day off, she was adamant that she would. I mean, I can see it from both views. You have a worker who comes late and takes days off. However, Ya Wen works hard and she did request the break several weeks in advance. Anyways, at the dinner, Dong Mei Jie hinted that Ya Wen might not be working with them any longer.

On Friday, when I came back from the overnight clinic, Ya Wen looked like she was in a bad mood. That morning, Dong Mei Jie had given her her two week notice. Oooooh, snap. I liked her a lot too! She was more down-to-earth and approachable than anyone else in that department. A damn shame. ):

Anyways, today was a good Saturday. Woke up late and went to a dim sum buffet. 300 NT for unlimited dim sum. Good deal. Again, I never saw hide or hair of the bill. ): I didn't get to take pictures either, but the restaurant was in a fancy hotel, complete with waterfall in the back. I didn't eat as much as I could have because I didn't want to be judged, but that is perhaps a good thing. hahaha. Still very full and satisfied.

I might go eat dinner with Grandpa again tonight. Not sure yet...

IDS: Tagging Along the Mobile Clinic

Yesterday, I found myself standing in front of an unmarked corner of the Mennonite Hospital, waiting around...someone. I didn't know if I'd be met by a person, car, truck, bus, etc. Apparently, I was waiting in front of the staff dormitory. You really think there'd be a sign or something. I was getting antsy after about 10 minutes of waiting, when this Mennonite Hospital van with dark windows pulls up next to me. No one rolls down a window, no one gets out, the van just...parks. I wait for another two or three minutes, trying to not look like I'm staring into the car. Finally, the doctor that I was briefly introduced to a few days ago runs out of the dormitory doors. She's like (point) "ABBY?". I nod, stunned. Then she ushers me onto the car. It was kind of like being kidnapped but friendly.

There were two other people on the car and I'm still a little bitter, "Yeah, guys, thanks for letting me wait outside in the blistering heat for five minutes", but they turn out to be all right. haha. There's Li Rei, the driver, and Mei Hui, the nurse. I cannot remember the doctor's chinese name for the life of me, but she told me to call her Amy, correction, DR. Amy. Li Rei and Mei Hui are great talkers. After the get-to-know-you small talk, they immediately jump into hospital drama/gossip. It was kind of interesting to listen to because until now, I've been hearing it from the administrative side. The workers have a completely different story motivated by different concerns and it was apparent that there are discrepancies between what the workers hear and what the administrators know as well as what the workers feel and what the administrators think. Very interesting stuff. Apparently, I passed out about 20 minutes in so I can't tell you all about it.

It was the gentle jolting of the country highway, so rhythmic and calming. haha. I remember opening my eyes every once in a while and thinking, "I'm AWAKE." or waking up to find my mouth open and wondering if anyone saw. haha. After an hour and a half of sleeping, waking up, finding that the conversation was still pretty much the same as when I last checked in, we stopped at this small restaurant. It was a semi-buffet where you'd order any entree but could help yourself to an unlimited salad bar. I got the miso ramen, which was decent. I mean, the noodles and soup were good but not mindblowing. It looked like they took a bunch of hot pot goodies and dropped it onto the bowl. I didn't even bother to take a picture because it was so...normal. haha. The salad bar had lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, bean curd, watermelon, and coconut jello. I'm not even abbreviating. That's what there was. haha. There was also the sweetest salad dressing I've ever had. I think it was thousand island with kewpie mayo + sugar. I pretty much stuck to the bean curd. mmm. Still, all that for only 100 NT (about $4). Amazing. I'm not complaining. Ok, I am, but only so as to provide commentary on the meal.

The first village we hit up was only about a 10 minute drive away. When we started to pull up, Li Rei presses a button on the console and our van starts blasting music. It sounded like we had rolled down the windows, unloaded our arsenal of pots and pans, and started banging on them. "KIANG KIANG KIANG, MENNONITE HOSPITAL APPROACHING. BRING OUT YOUR SICK PEOPLE." hahaha. I was SO enjoying myself. We drive through the village, announcing our arrival, when Li Rei suddenly says, "Do you guys want to see the waterfall?" I'm like "HECK YES." I bet the villagers were pretty confused when the music started fading away into the distance as we pulled away. wahahaha. The scenery was absolutely gorgeous. The village is nestled in the valley between several large mountains. The waterfall was small, but there were mini-pools at the bottom that natives were swimming and fishing in.

I wanted to wade in, but Mei Hui warned us that there are pinching crabs. There were cute little old Asian people sitting in the middle of the shallow pool with a table-top grill set up, just cooking up some BBQ. That's totally being one with nature.

We set up our mini-clinic at the village leader's house. Mei Hui opens up the back of the van and converts it into a pharmacy. Dr. Amy just sits down at the living room table and starts seeing patients while Li Rei quickly converts the living room into a clinic. We only see about 7-10 patients per village so things are very chill. Amy explains that though Taiwan has universal health care, people who live in the villages pay the same monthly fee for care as citydwellers, but often receive lower-quality medical care if any at all. It is important for the hospital to send out these mobile clinics so they can bring medical resources to the rural areas. My job for the night was to measure blood pressure. With an electric machine thing. Basically, all I had to do was wrap the cuff around people's arms and press a green button. I didn't even have to record anything. Still, it was interesting to watch the interactions between Dr. Amy, Li Rei, and Mei Huy and the villagers. Some of the villagers were obviously drunk. There was this super cute kid who came up to me and kissed me on the cheek (I was sitting down.). I'm like "Aww...cute." Then he stuck his head in between my breasts. I'm like "LESS CUTE." Then he kicked a dog. I'm like "SATAN SPAWN!" There was the cutest dog ever with pleading eyes. He had a puppy's face but a dog's body. HE JUST WANTED LOVE. D: I wanted to load him into the van and take him home.

While seeing patients, it was obvious that I wasn't the only one who had difficulty understanding what the patients were saying. Each village/tribe has their own dialect and sometimes they intermingle their language with Chinese. Still, Amy was thorough and sympathetic. She asked them a lot of questions and answered theirs. I was a little unused to the way she prescribed medicine. I think it's a Taiwanese thing but almost everyone walked away with a prescription for at least one kind of medicine. Amy had gone outside to talk to a patient about her meds when all of a sudden, I see the biggest spider in the world scuttle across the wall. To my credit, I did not scream, shriek, or cry. I just said, "Oh, holy Jesus." all calm-like. The patient who's blood pressure I was taking gave me a quizzical look. haha. The spider's leg-span was about the size of my palm. It wasn't fat or hairy...it's legs were just...long. (shudder) The scariest part was that it crawled into a hole and disappeared. I made a mental note to stay away from walls at all times. Absolutely NO leaning.

We had more patients then usual at the first village so we left there about an hour later than we usually do. On our way to the second village, Li Rei asks if we want to get some shaved ice. Dr. Amy's like, "Won't we be late?" Li Rei responds, "Oh, it's fine. Sometimes we don't get there until 9." So we stop at 7-11 and Amy treats us to slurpees. Apparently it was buy one get one free. The next village had only three patients. My favorite one was the young man who described his boogers as having the consistency of longan. WAHAHAHAHA. On our way out of the village, Mei Hui points out a couple of mango trees. Upon hearing that I've never seen a mango tree, they immediately start scouring the trees for fruit to PROVE to me that they are in fact mango trees. It's about 9:30 PM, we're on a narrow dark dirt road on some random mountain, and we're driving sloooowly on the wrong side of the road, looking up. Hilarious. Li Rei stops the car, crawls out the driver's window and plucks me a mango. Not one, but TWICE he does this because apparently the first one is too small. I love these people. hahaha.

We drive for about twenty minutes up the mountain. At this point, I'm wondering where the hell we are going. We end up one of Mennonite's rural clinics. The night view from up there was incredible, especially with the moon glowing a dark yellow, wrapped in sheer white clouds. GORGEOUS.

Our work for the night is not done, however. Dr. Amy still has to type up her hand-written notes and print them out while Mei Hui needs to double-check that the prescriptions have been added to their medical records. At first, I sit and talk with Amy as she types. She tells me to ask questions about anything I don't understand. However, things kind of get off-topic every once in a while. We start talking about healthcare policies which led to politics...and we eventually end up talking about dramas. At this point, Amy stands up, and politely escorts me outside. She's like "I'm sorry. Talking to you makes me forget the time. Let's talk later." haha. The most polite kicking out ever. Still, she unveiled a little more to me than I wanted to know. She voted for Ah Bian because of the staged shooting, she thinks the KMT hired someone to shoot the son of the one of their own members in the face to get sympathy votes, and she likes Taiwanese dramas. Oh, girl, I liked you. ):

I decide to go take a shower while everyone is working so it can be open for them when they're done. I haven't even stepped into the shower room when I spot a spider lurking in the corner. Li Rei comes in to help me, but it is obvious he's afraid of spiders too because he reaches for a broom instead of doing the MANLY thing and killing it with his bare hands. While I'm waiting for him to kill the spider, a COCKROACH scuttles near my feet. I decide then that maybe I'm not going to take a shower that night. He eventually kills both the spider and the cockroach but on my second attempt to enter the bathroom, I see the dried carcass of a LARGE spider hanging in the corner. hurk. Any resolve I had before then shriveled up and died. I find myself hugging my shower stuff in the lobby, listenting to some stupid Taiwanese variety show about DHEP, while glaring death-daggers at a leech that's inching it's way across the floor.

Things were looking bad. Then, I realized there was no sitting toilet. As I looked down the row of holes, the slurpee from two hours ago started to make its presence known. I would have gotten down on my knees to pray, but I was afraid of what might be lurking on the floor. That night, Amy and I shared a room. We talked about a bunch of things, such as why do I want to become a doctor and why did she decide to become a doctor. haha. She's not a Christian. And I really felt called to witness to her. I didn't give her the watered down version of my answer but straight up said, "Because I feel that God is calling me in this direction. I'm in the right place right now." I'm usually really uncomfortable talking about my faith to non-believers, but it felt like we were just having a normal conversation. She talked a little about the problems she's been struggling lately with finding satisfaction/joy in her work. If I had greater balls, I would have offered to pray for her. Instead, I shared with her my similar problems and kind of danced around how we can cast our burdens onto the lord. hahaha. She's like, "Yeah, I noticed how Christians tend to be full of joy. It's interesting." That's what she said, "you qu" which means interesting or amusing. haha. After about half an hour of conversation, she says "Ok. We'll talk to here. Good night." I LOVE HER. I have been trying to do this move forEVER and this is the first time I've seen it work. Usually, you subtlely hint that it's getting late and you're super tired and it's time to sleep while the other party blathers on and on ("Good night." "Good night, see you tomorrow...oh yeah, what are we doing tomorrow--?). I am in awe.

Guys, I don't know how my bladder managed it, but I held my pee until breakfast the next morning. We headed out of the house by 6:40 AM to rendezvous with another mobile clinic. On the way, Amy stopped off to buy Dan Bing and Shao Bing (egg pancake and...pan-friend stuff). I work up the courage to ask one of the workers if there was a bathroom...a SITTING bathroom. Amy laughed when I skipped/ran my way to the back. haha. When we met up with the other van, Amy and I switched cars while Li Rei and Mei Hui headed back to the hospital. We headed off to another clinic to give physicals to the elderly.

The clinic set up about 12 stations, each station doing something like urine testing, blood test, weight, vision, etc. Amy and Mao Jie, a nurse, were in charge of giving pap smears. People would just show up, swipe their Healthcare cards, and go through a round of examinations. The pee station was located handily next to the bathroom. I was a little disappointed that there was no poo station.

I thought it was an American thing to hate pap smears. But nope, it's universal. People would pass by our station looking all interested, read the sign, visibly recoil, and try to back away. We offered entrance into a raffle to win a 42 inch LED TV and a free 2 kg bag of rice.

"Pap smear?"
"No."
"We have free rice."
"Fine."

hahahahaha. No joke. Around 20 people got pap smears for free rice. Gotta love Asian people. One old lady was particularly reticent. The head of the local clinic had to come over. She was damn smooth. The poor old lady had her pants back on before she even knew what happened. I was terrified for her. Anyways, I was in charge of passing out the free rice. Whee! I worked with two older sisters, Xin Wei and Ru Ing. I only managed to remember their names because I translated them into "Heart Butt" and "Breast Silver" in my head. Whoops, can't tell them that. Ru Ing had the cutest hair cut. I want her bangs. >:]

Just got back to the hospital about an hour ago. I'm dirty, sweaty, and all around gross. Before we parted ways, Amy wanted to "recap what I've learned". She talked about the three steps of Medical treatment and about how treating patients isn't just about healing diseases. Even though a little was lost in translation, I think I get the gist of what she was saying. You can't always just wait until patients are sick to treat them. Sometimes, you need to take a preemptive strike. The mobile clinic not only educates the villagers about how they can and should live healthier lifestyles and what practices put them more at risk for diabetes, heart conditions, and hypertension, but also works to prevent existing conditions from escalating into life-threatening diseases. Nipping these diseases in the bud helps save money for the patients, the hospitals, and the government, but more importantly, it saves lives. <--- wow, corny.

OK. I'm hungry. Haven't had lunch yet. I'm thinking I deserve some instant noodles. Taiwanese instant noodles are boss, yo.