Writing Block

I'm in my senior year of high school. In a few months, I'll have to start submitting my college applications. Can you believe it? Me in College?

There's only one problem.

I've lost my ability to write.

Surprisingly enough, this happens to me quite often. Usually, I just have to wait it out, be patient until something inspiring comes along and nurses my muse back to life. But could this have come at a worse time? It's partly my fault. OK, it's all my fault. I haven't done any reading all summer, neglected to blog about anything worthwhile, breezed my way through summer essays, played Blockles until my eyes fell out... Maybe there could have been a bit more studying in there. Maybe.

I haven't written anything good since last year. My essay for Daniell was postively atrocious. I got a 40 out of 50 on my essay for Abel. But both times, I felt nothing as I was writing. I was writing because they told me to, squeezing blood and tears out of a dry sponge. I feel the garrote of formal writing tightening around my neck as I lay helpless and uninspired. I enjoy writing. I've always enjoyed writing. But writing quickly becomes torture when I'm sitting for hours in front of a blank word document, writing and re-writing the thesis statement of an essay I have no opinion about; when I'm squeezing each sentence out and hoping to God that when I double-space, it'll look like a real essay; or when I think to myself "fuck it" and start playing Blockles again. What has school done to me to reduce me to this? What is life without the joy writing brings?

Can you imagine a world where all books read like school text? Where instead of Harry Potter lining the bookshelves, we find "Firsthand America"? We cannot let school cheapen us! Pointless drabble must live on!


So anyways. I'm going to start using my blogs as a rehearsing studio. I need to find that delicate balance between my colloquial and formal writing. I have a personality problem, but I must be able to mask the "problem" part in my writing. This might be a little painful.

Thank God for chocolate.