Week 2: Hua Lien Memories

It seems that no matter how meticulously I go over my memories, I'm always bound to forget something. Please fill in the blanks!

Week Two: Hua Lian

1.) New skit: After losing Jonathon and adding on Team B, we needed to revamp our skit. We had Ben play Jonathon's role and it was PRICELESS. HA! Sweatiest toilet I've ever seen. (: And the crying was epic. It was like acting and football practice all rolled into one. There were other role changes. I got a new masseuse. Fired Daniel and got Phil. Phil, hands down, was the best masseuse ever. He didn't even try to kill me or anything. Except I had Creeper in the back, muttering "Penetrate harder. Oh yeah, penetrate the muscles." It made keeping the Coach face on very difficult. Oh! Cathy and Nick, with their "I'm so scared!" and the "OOOH!! (does crazy hand movements)" Or Cathy and her shopping cart. "Angry shopper, angry shopper!"

2.) The Dentist: It's kind of sad how we all called her the dentist. Her children were awesome, though. One kept me forever entertained on the piano. The other scared the hell out of me with her scary stories. (shudder) Oh, the little ones animal impressions were hilarious. (Scared the hell out of Yummy though.) We had some fun at her house. Watching really bad models on TV. Watching the grocery store dance routine. (Thus inspiring "Angry shopper, angry shopper" and "Pay in cash, pay in cash", and finally "Put it in the car, put it in the car") Oh! The wall that sprung up toward the end and cockblocked us from the showers. Her birthday celebration where Cathy and Jenny broke out their violin duet. Playing Chopsticks with the kid (switching off to take showers).

3.) Freak Show: Well, we all knew we were freaks, we just didn't know the extent of our freakishness. Jojo can do the eyebrow wave. Yummy can do the slingshot peace sign. And (sigh) I, I have El Torro. Well, the boys weren't exactly normal either. I missed it, but apparently they had some sort of eating contest between John and Phil. Phil the twig beat John the angry basketball player. How the hell does that work?

4.) Creeper Eric: Nothing like waking up to find some strange boy on your back saying "Penetrate those muscles. Penetrate." It actually hurt like the bejeesus. I didn't realize you were such a Creeper until this week. When you scared the hell out of Fish. Ha! I think she scared you far worse than you scared her. Your face of shame. D: Your scary aim with the rubber band. (Or the repeat snapping thing you showed us during Training) Your pale zombieness. I thought you were going to keel over at any second. Ooh! The six kids hanging off your limbs at any one moment. Wahahaha! This was a good week for you, Eric!

5.) Fish: That was epic. I don't think any of us ever thought that Da Jing Gang would save our lives. When she came into the classroom, I thought all my students were going to implode. They're never this unified and silent when I'm teaching! The two bodyguards. Ha! Priceless. By the end, I think there were at least five teachers dancing Da Jing Gang. (Andrew came in randomly from only God knows where.) Man, Fish cracks me up. When she offered a ride home to Jackie and Jackie refused. There were bodyguards involved there too, I think if I remember correctly.

6.) Birth of a Queen: I think this was when we started calling you Queen. (Or at least when I started calling you The Queen.) Your little first graders fanning you without being asked to (or so you say). I still remember you choosing your class, screaming "Ooh! The midgets! I want the midgets!" hahahaha. You used to read the Tim letter to us in the classroom. I didn't find out about the true identity of Tim until Yummy told me this week. Good times. (: I think this week also brought the birth of the Alliance. (Allies?) Amy didn't know about Tim until the day the boys revealed the truth to you. Your reaction has been forever immortalized by film. Sorry we didn't wake up when you guys left. D: Nobody woke us up! We totally slept though it. Boo.

7.) Rubber Band wars and Man Niu: We shot rubber bands during Training too, but it kind of died out during Changhwa. I think Man Niu was the catalyst, but do you remember that epic CS style rubber band shoot out at Yi Chang Guo Zhong? hahahaha. WE were like "AAAAAHHH!" (shootshootshoot), or in my case, (missmissYESSSSSS ow!). Man Niu is the powerful elixir of life. I remember the first time I bought it, already convinced of its power because of this commercial I watched last year. All it took was my highness to convince Daniel and Eric of its potency. Then we moved on to Man Niu 2. (Not as good, by the way. The grape aftertaste was disgusting.) Oh! And the coach telling us that it was bad for us while we tried to convince him that it was only for our own good.

8.) Scary kids: How could I leave this till so near the end? I remember the first day back, as we all sat around the table in silence/horror, breaking out into "OH MY GOD. I MISS MY CHANGHWA KIDS." hahaha. When we thought of the kids, we thought of "AAAAHHH!" (Some screaming on both the kids' and our part.) In the morning, when we walked to school, the kids would run out of the schoolyard screaming "AMY LAO SHIIII!" and Amy would calmly move out of the way so they could attack Eric. Ha! I had this one kid named Andy who was such a ho. D: He cut me out of our class picture and pasted me in a separate corner. I was devastated. Oh! And I got to use my Teacher voice when I had to take him out for a tokkatokka (talk). Ray's kid pissing the hell out of him. John's demonic kid who drew scary photos and rejected the altar call. Having the kids exhaust us so entirely that we just set them free in the schoolyard and said "Run until you're tired.". Haha. I had mine doing baton races. hee. Amy and Cathy punishing their class with Chubby Bunny...with OREOS. Hateful.

9.) Food: This week was bian dang all around. We got bian dangs for lunch, bian dangs for dinner. Remember the leftover bowl that we made to put the stuff we didn't want in? (I hope it wasn't the bowl with the cockroach in it.) Remember the first meal we ate here? At that stupid 99 place that made us wait for like two hours before any food came on the table? They had a really nice dog though...BUT STILL! Food is more important! I liked that one dinner that we walked to. The sizzling plates looked amazing. Oh! And the sushi place we went to after the Debriefing. Expensive, but pretty. I almost forgot! The meal that the middle school prepared for us. The cockroach dong gua cha that tasted suspiciously delicious. Hmm...

10.) Debriefing: Pastor Chang and his spiritual shrimp. The supposedly volunteer-based testimony. Daniel and his freakish notes: "The first week was epic." Then we went arcading. Apparently, Phil and John are very good at baseball. Daniel and Amy are good at pitching. The game Daniel wanted to play was broken...but we got to play it during and after the third week. (; Bowling! I BEAT DANIEL! (That's all that matters.) Guh. Getting killed by Daniel in that one Mallet game. D: By a lot. On film. I think my ego died in that one moment. After arcading, we went to the Golden Clam place. I was cracking up during the video because it was so boring. (These clams won the Golden Glam award! (Me on the side: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Golden clam award, snort.) OH! David and I leading the others in a Pirates of the Caribbean inspired attack on Daniel. Daniel running around the edge of the pool so he wouldn't be dragged in. Rolling up our pants inappropriately high. Ben and the BMW sticker on his head. Later losing it to The Bus that Ate Trash. (It ate my Man Niu bottle too. D:) Getting rejected by the noodle store we went to last year. Going to the sushi place but ending up at Family Mart eating gross ice cream. Way better debriefing than last year. Let's do this again!

11.) Tour Bus: I totally forgot about the tour bus we took to Hua lien. That was hilarious! I can't believe we did devos on the bus. I can't even remember what the prompt was. We were like praying, praying, reading the Bible, TRANSFORMERS 2! ("GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Seriously the only quote I remember.) Josiah swooning over Megan Fox. The really crappy quality of the video as it kept on stopping and going, stopping and going. The really scary girl that became a machine with a really long tongue. :X Shi Mu mysteriously getting off, later explained away by motion sickness. Too bad we didn't karoake. That would have been epic. OOH! Daniel's sunfish impression. We'll never let him live it down. This trip also provided us with a lot of blackmail material in the sleeping pictures department. muahaha.

12.) Yummy and Cats: When the two girls were mewing at the other table, scaring the bejeesus out of Yummy. The day afterwards, when we were walking to school, saw a cat, and formed a wall. (" Quick guys, get Yummy out of here. Go, Go, Go!") We were like Yummy's Secret Service. haha.

13.) James's visit: His first visit, he walked in when I was still sleeping. (Very unattractively, might I add. Thanks Amy.) His second visit (I think), we threw Chinese Chess pieces at each other. (Real mature.) I believe it was David's idea. But Andrew had the best aim. And he was teamed up with Daniel...against me and Amy. REAL fair guys. D: I'm not even sure we got all the pieces back. haha.

14.) Singing on Sunday: Deep Deep went down fine. Then we got to One Way. Epic instrumentals. Except they were so epic they drowned out our tranny voices. So basically, all the church got was David on the microphone. hahahaha. Their tribal music was great though! ("Something somethingsomethingsomething HALLELUJAH!!")

15.) Abusing the Church as a Home: We did all kinds of crap on the stage at night. Mock funerals. (My favorite was Shi Mu's touching speech during Daniel's.) Jamming sessions, with people on instruments we pretended to know how to play...heh. Bang on the stage. Amy and I sleeping under the piano/onstage because of the ants in our room. (Stupid popcorn chicken.) Shi Mu sleeping on the pews with us. haha. The stand-up comic night with Club Bounce and the Lollipop Man. That stage was the hub of good fun. ): I miss it.

16.) Ramen: Andrew and Nick, Ramen partners. Eating Ramen for breakfast to piss Cathy off. Eating Ramen at Night when bian dangs didn't suffice. Ramen was a lifesaver.

17.) Hitting Andrew with balls: Oh man, that was really good. We HAD a video...but DANIEL HAS IT. >:[

18.) Afternoon naps: Watching people sleep all over the place at the middle school. People on tables, people in chairs, people twitching onstage...

19.) Left or Right. Nuff' said. It's right.

20.) Devos: I think this is the first week Josiah and Andrew led a group. Then it was a Russian Roulette of "Avoid Daniel. Avoid serious discussion. NOOOOO!" Without Pastor Chang, we stayed up real late and woke up...a little...late too. haha. No wake up songs this week because the boys and girls were separated by an entire floor.

Random Things/Quotes:
"Only a little boy named David. Just a little sling." -Jojo (Or however the hell it went)
"ShiMu: Daniel was always a good boy.
Amy: LIES!"
Daniel the cockroach king
"-twitchtwitch-" -Daniel
The tuna sandwhich story.
Blessing the ball. And later other things.
Poking Daniel while waiting to bowl.
Getting shaved ice