Piss and Moan

Life is frustrating. Sometimes, everything just falls into place, like the force of gravity is pushing with you and not on you. Other times, things are just so confusing that you just want to scream...and curse. Right now, it's more like the latter.

So, I've already pissed and moaned about my Physics class. Today, I heard a rumor that Mr. Briber stays at school until 8PM studying Calculus. That just makes me feel really bad...and uncharitable. It's like we don't even appreciate his efforts. I want to do the right thing, if only I knew what it was. How can I tell him that we're not learning, or even understanding the sample problems on the board? I think on Monday, a group of us will politely request that he start lecturing instead of simply throwing us to the wolves. He's a good, nice guy....just writes semi-illegibly and doesn't really know Calculus yet. I hope we can help each other. We need to cut him some slack, but we don't need to suffer in the process.

Then there's club drama. I don't know what clubs I want to do. Now that Simply Help is gone, there is a huge gaping hole in my life. I've tried to fill it with Yuva, but it's "simply" not the same. ): Sometimes I feel like I have no direction where Yuva is going, that I have no idea how I ended up so involved in all of it, and that I wish I didn't take that step. I already made a commitment, but I can't help but wonder what would happen if I were free. Recently, I discovered that Joy Anes is the president of the Love Ignited Christian Club. They meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesdays, they have guest speakers. Thursdays, they have praise and worship. I really really want to go check it out. Apparently, a lot of teachers on our campus are Christians and intend to be guest speakers at the meetings. There's so much out there I have to learn, so much that I am ignorant of...

I had a really great conversation with Joy and Thuy about Christianity, the Bible, and Jesus that day. It made me really reconsider myself as a Christian. I know I could do so much to help out, but instead I find myself holding back. What should I do? I can't shirk previous obligations, but it wasn't my responsibility in the first place. Now I find myself in a lovely mess.


And then there's college apps. Well, the art supplement is killing me. Who knew that recording a ten-minute sample of piano takes hours and hours of aggravation, screaming, and homicidal rage? Nothing is more frustrating then playing and playing and playing, only to make a mistake at the last moment.

That's life.