Continuity

You know that feeling when you're absolutely convinced that something monumental has just happened, that your life will never be the same, that surely tomorrow morning when you wake up, things will be so fundamentally different that you won't even remember what life used to be like before the Big Change? Then life kind of just moves on, the endorphins wear off, and every great thing just  fades into shades of nostalgia and memory. Life's funny like that.

I feel like a momentous chapter of my life has just ended. If my life were one of those Pick-Your-Own-Ending books, I'd be standing at a crossroad debating between "If you'd like to move on with your life, keep reading. If you think it's time to start making crazy life decisions in your emotionally compromised state, throw the book on the ground!" The past six weeks of my life have been some of the most fulfilling and peaceful I have known in a long time. I know most of the other Pre-College RA's would beg to differ, but I am so accustomed to summers being packed with drama, disease, and discomfort (I literally just sat here for three minutes trying to come up with the third alliterative adjective), that this was the first actual summer vacation I've had in over a decade. AND I got paid for it.  I'm not saying that experience has changed my perspective of ADVENT, but it's definitely something I didn't know I needed to prepare me both emotionally and mentally for the impending MCAT lockdown.

I'll eventually write more about the Pre-College experience, but I wanted to preface the upcoming posts with a bit of a warning:

I am writing under duress.

While taking the practice full-length MCAT, I was horrified by the discovery of a Writing Sample section. What. the. Fuck. I literally flinched away from the computer screen at the mere thought of answering the hated prompt. (I didn't. Skipped that section like a boss.) This was then coupled with a reading passage about how the current generation is no longer capable of thinking for itself. That our thoughts are unoriginal and learned. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. So yeah, I'm writing these posts to force myself to remember what it's like to form thoughts and put them down in (semi)coherent sentences. Practice makes perfect. Sigh.

So yeah. For the last three days, my world has been work, MCAT, ramen, Korean dramas, empty apartment. If I die young, don't bury me in satin. In fact, don't bury me at all, I'd like to be composted. And if there are roses anywhere NEAR my casket, I will come back and haunt you all. 

Yeah, this is going to be harrowing butt fun.