Testify

I've been at JHU for three weeks now and every day God's been working. Every time something good happens to me, I thank Jesus, and then I go on with what I'm doing. Some would say that's enough, but I think it's important to testify and share what God's done in your life as encouragement to others. Reminds me of that one song we used to sing in bible school as kids, This Little Light of Mine. One of my favorites, hands down. It was like Ultimate Spit Wars whenever we got to /POOH/ it out. Anyways, God's been tending to my candle (and in no way was that vague sexual reference), and I think it's about time I let it shine.

First of all, my application to JHU in itself was God's work. I'd never even heard of Johns Hopkins before applying there. When deciding what school to apply to, I looked up the 2009-2010 rankings of universities across the US. I then decided to apply to Stanford, Harvard, Yale, and for some reason, Johns Hopkins. (I think I was looking at the medical school listings.) What I remember most vividly is looking up the nearest Chipotle around JHU and thinking, "Excellent. It's right across the street." Then I applied. I mean, what other motivation did I need? Really.

Johns Hopkins was the first (and only) private to send me my acceptance. I remember playing Meerca Chase while checking my email and saying, "Oh. Nice." I told my sister on Gchat and she proceeded to call me right back and gush. GUSH. I was totally confused because I really had no intention of going to JHU. After recovering from the devastation of being rejected from Stanford, Harvard, and Yale in a span of three days, I had my heart set on going to Berkeley. I had received the Regents and Chancellors Scholarship there which would have reduced my tuition to roughly 14k, including room/board/food. I thought that, for sure, was a sign from God to put aside my pride and go to Berkeley.

A few nights later, my Aiyi came over to take us to dinner. Like Amy, she was much more excited than I was about my acceptance to Hopkins. She told me I absolutely HAD to go. I started looking into Hopkins, about its financial aid program, about its medical resources, about its statistics, and I decided to give JHU a chance. In April, I took part in the Asian Perspectives overnight program, where I stayed with a host in her dorm for three days. Originally, I had planned to go on the standard one night stay that the school offers, but again, God intervened. Because of Asian Perspectives, I met a lot of friends and made a lot of connections that have helped ease the pain of my transition to JHU.

Long story short (Lies. There's more.) , I fell in love with the campus. I came back and submitted my SIR within two days. Months later, I met up with Pastor Chang at the ADVENT training camp. We got to talking and, as it turns out, Priscilla was also going to JHU. I had no idea when I was applying that Priscilla was applying for the Peabody Conservatory. I'm totally a believer of signs (I know it's bad) and this one seemed of the neon, flashing light variety. ADVENT is a big part of my life and it felt that God was telling me that I had made the right choice in taking a chance on JHU.

Fast forward to three weeks ago. When my parents left, it was a waterworks fest. I started crying before they even left. I cried myself to sleep the first night in the dorms, tossing and turning under rough blankets that were alien to me. I cried during our last dinner together. (Rather embarrassing, really. I think the waiter and other patrons must have thought we were REALLY displeased with the meal.) I cried through our last prayer together in my dorm. I cried when they pulled away in the red pimp-mobile. I cried intermittently through my first week. I drank a lot of water to keep hydrated.

I had a lot of doubts. I had/have a lot of guilt. I passed up a 16k scholarship to come to this school. I'm at least 7 hours and $400 away from home. My parents are footing a 30k a year bill for my education. I thought for sure I had made a mistake. I should have gone to Berkeley. Then I could go home every weekend, play with the puppies, and ask my Mom to do the laundry. Sounds heavenly when you spend the first night locked out of your room, accidentally throw your only white dress shirt into a load full of colored clothes and inadvertently set it on WHITES because you thought it was the most delicate setting, and run around the entire first week trying to figure out your schedule. But God again provided.

I met up with some of my Asian Perspectives friends. Together, we managed to attract more Asians until we unintentionally made this little mob of Asians we fondly call The Asian Invasion. Most of them are engineers but we still meet up everyday to eat, study, or do homework together. When I was trying to get into Intro to Physics, a really nice upper classman walked me to Garland Hall to turn in my drop/add slip. As it turns out, he was a neuroscience major too. He gave me some tips on what classes to take, what not to take, etc. The next day, I met up with Maria, an upperclassman I met during AP, and she gave me some more advice. She is trying to double major in Psychology and Neuroscience, just like me. (She is actually the one who got me interested in Neuroscience) She also hooked me up with Stepping Stone, my current Fellowship on campus. Because God placed them in my path, I managed to work out all the kinks in my schedule and I am now on the way to becoming a double major. :)

I can't write a blog about God without talking about Fellowships. Priscilla and I agreed to find a church we could go to together, even though the Homewood and Peabody campuses are a 20 minute bus ride apart. At first, I tried out Agape with Kandice. I only went to the worship night, but I knew that Priscilla would not be able to make the morning service. Following Maria's advice, Priscilla and I went to Stepping Stone together the next Sunday. Something just clicked. The pastor, who is a Hopkins alumni, gave a sermon that completely resonated with me. He talked about how it is hard to put God above your own career and ambitions. When he talked about his motivations, dreams, and experiences, I found that I could completely relate. I actually listened to his entire sermon without texting, nodding off, or playing Bible Pictionary. I was very proud of myself. I definitely hope this is a church where I can grow spiritual roots and find myself as a Christian. On another note, I seriously need to get myself a Church Notebook because the Pastor is definitely throwing me morsels of wisdom from his table. haha

Just last week, God hooked me up with a job. I'm still a little skeptical about it. I don't know if God wants this to be short-term or long-term commitment or what he has in mind me. I'm sure if he led me here, then I have something to learn or take from here. (And I'm not just talking about free Pepsi products and $10.75/hr pay. Yayuh.) I'm taking a leap of blind faith here and I'm just going to go with God's flow. I struggled with the job after the first day. Telemarketing is really bad for the confidence and is not recommended for the clinically depressed. However, I've gone in three days and I am not totally fine bringing in a book and chilling for three hours. Praise the Lord.

God's just been throwing little tasty treats here and there for me. Some are bitter and some are sweet, but all are designed to teach me something. For example, the Expository Writing course I signed up for, deceptively titled "Sex and Death in Shakespeare and Beyond", turned out to be about Freud rather than, say, Shakespeare. I definitely struggled through the first two weeks, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of that now. I also won a free shirt at the IAC general meeting (It says "DOMINASIAN") and I made IAC apprentice. I'm not really sure what kind of clubs/extracurricular activities I can join with my limited time availability, but I'm just going to let God move me.

Faith. It's hard, but I'm learning. God works in my life every day. Every morning, my Dad sends me an encouraging prayer via text. (So proud of him.) I still struggle (I'm doing a lot of struggling lately. I think I should go back and see how many times I used this word.) with being away from home, but right now, things are not bad. I get by by giving thanks. I get by by thinking of all the things God still has in store for me.