There and Back Again in 20 Hours

Headed down to So-Cal yesterday morning It was a trip that was conceived of months ago, cancelled recently, and miraculously brought back to life again in the final hour. I was supposed to drive down with Vicky to see Priscilla's Young Guild Artist Recital, but we cancelled at the last moment because of a failure to plan until the last second. I had just come to terms with not heading down when my Dad suggests that we go down as a family. I'm like "That's crazy. Where are we going to stay?" But my Dad was undeterred. "If you want to go that badly, Daddy will find a way." OK, I'm fictionalizing a bit here. The real conversation went a little more like this:

Me: "SCREW THIS. I'm just not going to go. Rawr."
Dad: "We could drive down together. It would be great family time."
Me: (glare) "You're an idiot. Where would we stay."
Dad: "We could get a hotel."
Me: "WE PO. NO."
Dad: "...I'll make a few phone calls."

So Dad makes a few phone calls to some church friends who moved to Irvine a few years ago. Unfortunately, both families had just come up to NorCal for a wedding. So the plan to go down south was cancelled yet again. But, since they were both up in the saner part of California, of course we would have to meet -- so dictated by the Asian Code under paragraph 10, section 3, under the heading "20 Years of Friendship". We invite them over for lunch, my mom cooks up a storm (of which I had little to no part because they started cooking at 10 AM. Such an ungodly hour).A good meal merits good conversation and lunch soon became dinner. Grandma Zhu insisted that we let her treat. Now, I like these families (which is not usually the case with my Dad's church friends), and these families like me (which I find absolutely terrifying) so I didn't mind spending the whole day with them. At Ma Jia Guan (a restaurant with amazing knife-cut noodles and giant sesame cakes...OK, too many parentheticals? I'll stop.), conversation veers again towards So-Cal. All of a sudden, LK Aiyi turns to her husband and says: "Give them the key." Her husband doesn't even blink and gives us the key to his house. HIS HOUSE. And after that, it was pretty much settled. We were going to So-Cal.

The trip down was great. My Dad had stayed up until 3AM keeping track of the Taiwan presidential elections. Dr. Ma was re-elected, thank GOD. We started off the trip on a good note. Anyways, I drive the first one-third of the way, which was disturbingly enjoyable. I mean, driving an average of 80 mph and weaving around trucks and slower vehicles? BOMB. I think I hit 95 mph at one point. Yeah, I know. Some of y'all assholes out there are going "Pfffft. 95? Small potatoes." Well shaddup, this is MY moment.

We get into Irvine at around 4:30PM. By this point, my Dad needs to poo something fierce and I also have a somewhat urgent need for the bathroom. We pull up to LK Aiyi's house and I hear my Dad exclaim "HALLELUJAHHH!" as we all race to her front door. Things were gloriously slow-motion-esque as my Dad puts in the key...turns the...can't turn the...Oh hell no. She gave us the WRONG key. My Dad calls her to explain the situation, she is mortified and tells us to go around, check all the windows, try climbing through the back...all of which we do to no avail. My Dad, who is quickly reaching the breaking...bursting...point, piles us all into the car and makes his way towards the closest shopping center. He drove like a maniac under the control of terrorist bowel movements.His savior came in the form of Kohl's. While he's finding sweet release over a porcelain nirvana, my Mom immediately starts shopping. -__-

I call up the Changs, who are the family we actually came down to see and ask them to Google hotels in the area for us. Nehemiah promptly invites us to stay at their house. Now this is the BUSIEST family in the world. They have church duties, people milling in and out of their house like they own the place, and on top of all that, after her performance, Priscilla is leaving for Baltimore the next morning. We protest but really, at the moment, we see now other choice (besides a shit-expensive hotel). Now, as also dictated by the Asian Code, we go to Ranch 99 to buy a box of pears....and an orchid. My Dad's a fruit.

We get to their house and it is apparent from the moment we enter that chaos is afoot. We decide that we most DEFINITELY cannot stay and cause more trouble. Coincidentally, we run into Cynthia Aiyi, who is another friend from church. She invites us to stay at her place, which is (also coincidentally), a house she is renting from ANOTHER church friend. Once all that was settled, we set off for dinner.

Dinner was Bruxie's, some place I found on yelp that serves waffle sandwiches. Amy would be so proud. When we got there, we ran into some people from the Chang church. Turns out, the recital hall is right across the street. The food was delicious, I'll get the pictures from my Dad later. But mm, chicken and waffles, pulled BBQ pork, Irish nachos...good respite from the craziness of two hours ago.

Priscilla's performance was amazing. I stayed awake through the entire performance...which is a huge compliment. It was a group recital with another boy...something de Fazio, which I remember because it's a freaking cool last name...who played the cello. Anyways, amongst all that class, the Wangs were finding it hard to fit in. My mom made me giggle when during the cello performance, the piano accompaniment hit a very obvious sour note. She made such a face of mortification. Then it was giggle loop time. My Dad start pantomiming his interpretation of each song...which always involved a cat, a mouse, and divine intervention. Oh man, class was abundant.

After the performance, I had a splitting headache. Ok, less splitting, more slow, spinning nausea merry-go-round of DOOM. After stopping off at the Changs to drop off the pictures from the performance, we head over to Cynthia's place. When we're almost there, she says, "Man, I hope they have extra blankets." At this point, I'm curled up into a fetal position of misery. My Dad's like, "If there are not blankets, let's just drive home." We get there, there are blankets, but NO WHERE TO PARK. Guh. Apparently, the apartments are close to UC Irvine and they prohibit parking to prevent a massive take-over by college students. Next thing I know, we're heading back up I-5.

Yeah, I'm majorly devastated that we didn't get to ride the hot air balloon, didn't get to experience the much-extolled virtues of Newport Beach, didn't get to gorge ourselves at Gen, but I'm still thankful for the great time I had with our parents. We were trapped into a little careening vehicle of death for twelve or so hours with no internet to cockblock us from real conversation. Yes, three of those hours were dedicated to politics, but still...family bonding time. Bottom line: I had a blast catching up with the family after a semester apart, I got to support a good friend...and see a show that will probably cost me a LOT more in the future teehee, and I stumbled upon great news. >:]

No regrets. Plus, my parents promised to take me to Point Lobos because they know I LOVE the beach. Mmm...ocean, shores, sand. Nothing like that harbor shit. Baltimore is ass.