05/30/11: 13:52, Location: Death Floor, Mennonite Hospital, Hualien, Taiwan

Currently on my lunch break at the hospital and chilling with a cup of black coffee. Haven't done much yet today -- helped prepare gauze bandages and sang for patients in the waiting room. The epicness usually doesn't start until 2 PM.

Dr. Liu drove me to the hospital yesterday. I had no idea what to expect. Then everything happened at once. Pastor Chao took me to the Volunteer department to fill out some paperwork. They handed me a nametag and a volunteer vest. I was like "Aww..man." I thought I got away with not wearing either. The director was like "Now, before we get to work...you need to put this on." Crap. The early part of the morning, I helped stuff envelopes with vouchers. As I was doing so, I heard my Dad's voice in my head. "I don't want you to fly half-way around the world just to do volunteer work you could do at home...you better make sure you're not passing out flyers or something dumb like that." Luckily, before I started really freaking out, Pastor Chao swooped in and rescued me. We took a brief tour of the hospital which consists of four buildings -- Grace, Mercy, Faith, and Peace. Pastor Chao's office is on the fourth floor in the Faith building, the only building that has a fourth flour. In Chinese, the word for "four" sounds the same as the word for "death" so most buildings in Taiwan do not have a fourth floor. Sounds Louis Sacharesque, no?


I can now say I stared death in the face...and fed it porridge. OK, that's a little messed up. What I'm trying to say is, I got to help spoon-feed extremely old people at the hospital nursing home. Pastor Chao just hands me a bowl of nasty looking porridge and she's like "FEED (point)!" There were four old people lined up in large feeding chairs, complete with tables and towel around neck. She shows me how it's done on the next old man over, proclaiming loudly " GRANDPA! IT'S TIME TO EAT. (feed) SO GOOD! GOOD!" Being a naturally timid person, I politely brought my spoon close to grandma's mouth and asked, "Are you hungry?" Pastor Chao rectified this situation immediately. She thrust my spoon against Grandma's lips, "She can't see, you have to touch her lip with the spoon so she knows it's there". The first spoonful went great. I waited for her to chew..or..gum..or whatever. A minute goes by, she's still going at it. Then five. "Uhh..Pastor Grace? Is something stuck in her mouth?" She comes over. "Oh, some of the old people can't control their jaws. They just do that. Go ahead and feed her another spoonful." I had poor old grandma waiting blindly for the next bite for FIVE MINUTES. D: I am an AWFUL person!! All joking aside, feeding the elderly was a great learning experience in terms of patient care. You have to be sensitive to everything. For example, Pastor Grace looked at the bowl Grandpa was stirring, and she's like "Why is it so hot?" Poor Grandpa sticks the bite in his mouth and promptly spits it out. Comical, but SAD. We then spend the next few minutes stirring the porridge and blowing on it to cool it down. I learned how to gauge the temperature of the food by touching the back of my finger to the spoon. I felt kind of silly at the beginning because I couldn't tell when Grandma was ready for the next bite. And unlike all the other nurses who were comfortable speaking to the patients, I felt it might be belittling to speak to them like children. However, I found that speaking to them and announcing things like "READY FOR ANOTHER BITE?!? GOOD!!" told Grandma when the next spoonful was coming. Then, I learned how to read her face. Even though her jaw always moved in a gentle chewing motion, she would stick her tongue out a little to signify she was ready for the next bite.

At first, I felt awkward feeding and speaking to the elderly like they were babies. Then, Pastor Chao informed me that sometimes the hospital is short-staffed. In order to feed them all, staffs rush the feeding process, thrusting spoonful after spoonful into the mouths of the elderly. Maybe Grandma was THANKFUL for that five-minute rest between bites. haha. This was an experience I definietly hope to repeat.

In the afternoon, I got to "shadow" a nurse. Literally. I was all up on her like white on rice. Her name is Xiu Zhen and she is the COOLEST THING EVER. She's like "OK. Follow me." Then I proceeded to run after her as she gave me the fastest tour ever --" This is the changing station, this is the pantry, this is the soiled room, this the sink, this is where me put used sheets, this is where we get clean ones, this is where we eat, this is the bathroom, this is the teleportation device where we get medicine, this is where we keep the medicine, this is how we administer medicine..." Then, WITHOUT PAUSE, she waltzes into a patient's room. There's a curtain pulled around the bed that reads "Treatment in progress. Do not enter." Naturally, I wait outside. She comes back out, "We need to find a bedpan." I trip after her as she goes up and down the aisle, peeking into each room to find the elusive bedpan. A cleaning lady passing by said, "There's two in that room over there." We enter the room, only to discover that the bedpans are in the bathroom...which is occupied. The lady inside says, and I transiquote, "I'm taking a dump. Give me five minutes." Xiu Zhen says real dramatic-like, "We don't have five minutes." Then she grabs me and heads toward the nursing station. She grabs an adult diaper and heads off to the patients room. Again, I wait outside the curtain. She peeks outside the curtain and says sternly "Come". I obey. "This is how we put on an adult diaper." And before I can say "WOAH, WHAT?", she whisks off the blanket and proceeds to educate me. I exaggerate a little, but seriously, Xiu Zhen put that thing on in like 1 minute flat. She was courteous and gentle, and more importantly, skilled. That's the difference between Taiwan and America. The patient didn't even blink that there was a strange girl wearing an ugly volunteer vest watching. In America, he would have sued for an arm and a leg. When she's finished, the patient thanks her and we step out. Xiu Zhen explains that he had just come out of a stomach surgery and can't stand up to use the facilities. In my head, all I heard was "THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME."

Following a nurse around is totally different from shadowing a doctor. It's a whole level up. We actually had to do things. haha. In the two hours that I spent with Xiu Zhen, we delivered meds, changed bedsheets, helped patients get into/out of bed, discharged patients, and even carred an unruly, drunk admitted patient into the bed. By the time Xiu Zhen got off work, I was dead tired. She laughs and says, "When I get home, the first thing I do is sleep. Then I wake up and watch TV before sleeping again." She starts the day at 7:30 AM. Nurses are my new heroes.


After Xiu Zhen left, I was left in the care of an grim-looking orderly who had me stapling forms for 2 hours. That was decidedly less glorious. However, today I will meet the lady who brought Daniel around when he came two years ago. Apparently, I'm supposed to call her "Jie" (older sister) to get on her good side. She reportedly knows how to show interns/volunteers a good time. I can't wait.

On my way to back to Pastor Chao's office, I totally got lost. I ended up walking up/down more than 10 flights of stairs. I got the inkling that I was hopefully lost when I found myself in front of a sign that read "MORGUE". The Psycho theme started playing in my head. haha

At 5 PM, I helped take Pastor Chao's kid, Melody, to do see Dr Liu (The Dentist) downstairs. She is the funniest/cutest kid EVER. Her nickname around the hospital is "Demon Child". Apt. haha. I remember her being terrifying, but I think that age has mellowed her...a little bit. She's so brave! During the examination, the dentist announces, "You have two cavities." and proceeds to drill straightaway. I'm grimacing and twitching all over the place and the kid gets up, grins, and says "Not bad. Comfortable." Beast.

When we leave the hospital, Pastor Chao's like "I'll get the motorcycle." I'm like, "Say what?" The three of us then squeeze onto her poor little motorcycle. I had my doubts but they evolved into straight up fear when she kicks off into incoming traffic. I had parts of me vibrating and jiggling that I had no idea existed.

For dinner, she takes me to a newly opened Japanese restaurant. She's always wanted to try it but there's always a line. We had about forty-five minutes until Melody had Math class. We get to the front of the store and Pastor Chao literally throws the kid off the moving motorcycle and says "Check if there's a line". Miraculously, there were exactly three seats open. The food was heavenly. Thick slices of sashimi for less that $6, colorful sushi rolls, and Pastor Chao insists on ordering several appetizers. Now I've been struggling with trying to figure out when it's appropriate to attempt to pay. The first meal, my host family took us to a nice restaurant that served set meals. I was debating if I should attempt to pay, but they also treated the Pastor and Melody. I decided to postpone the inevitable scene. In a way, I kind of DID pay for the Japanese dinner. Pastor Chao didn't have any cash on her, so I spotted her 1000 NT (about $30). But...she paid me back today. Bah. The Wang in me won't let his happen! Usually I take get free bentos from the hospital for both lunch and dinner. I'm going to be here for a whole month. No way in Hell I'm going to let Pastor Grace and Dr. Liu's family pay for everything/anything. To the Cave to plan! >:[ I have already resolved to treat both families out to dinner before I leave. GRR. I hate being HOSPITALIZED...hospitalitized? Whatever.

Yesterday, I had a killer headache. Bad timing, as I had just announced to the world that I refused to dry my hair before I go to sleep because the thing about it making your head hurt was just a myth. Blast! Anyways, everytime I go to Taiwan, I end up with some sort of physical affliction. Usually it's eczema/bugbites/bloodynoses/fever/etc. This time, I have a monstrous cold sore on my lower lip. I'm not exaggerating, this thing has a life of it's own. It's red/yellow, and it refuses to pop so I can ooze it. ): I feel people judging me. Not to mention, I have not pooped since I arrived in Taiwan. Makes me miss Lester a little. I'm not worried because I don't feel uncomfortable or anything, but I've eaten a LOT since I've been to Taiwan. Makes one wonder where all that food is going. When I went to bed last night with a headache, I felt a little feverish and was getting the chills. I was like "DEAR JESUS. NOT YET." I woke up this morning still feeling a little sore, but no headache or fever as of yet. Whew, DEAR JESUS. NOT YET!

In other news, I learned how to play this Israeli number game. It's kind of reminiscent of Mahjong but less complicated. Pastor Chao says it'll ward off dementia. haha.

OK. I'm heading off to the Outpatient Clinic. At least I think that's what it's called. haha (Wai Ke). That's where Xiu Zhen works. Hopefully the new Jie Jie won't have any stapling in store for me. OH. I totally stapled myself for the first time yesterday. I was reloading the stapler, and it snapped shut when my finger was covering the opening. It looked like I was bitten by a tiny vampire.

Will update soon!