06/01/11: 15:17, Location: Psych Ward, Hualien, Taiwan

Today, Pastor Chao took me to the Mennonite Psych Ward. It's located about thirty minutes away from the main hospital, next to a popular result called The Promised Land. As you can imagine, the surroundings are picturesque. This drizzly morning, the mountains, usually lush with green shrubbery, were partly shrouded by lazy fog. When Pastor Chao told me yesterday that we would be going, I must admit that I did not know what to expect. First of all, she said in English , "We are going to see the psyche." There was a Jack/Karen moment:"The what?", "The PSYCHE". Then she twisted her index and middle finger together and made small rotating motions near her temple, the Chinese sign for "cuckoo". I'm like "OOOOH. PSYCHO." Then, "Oooh, psycho. Ummm..we're not allowed to say that." Apparently, the doctors of Taiwan go around calling their mental ward patients "psychos". Brilliant.

I was expecting white hallways, maybe some padded walls and straitjackets but the Mennonite Mental Ward was downright tasteful. haha. When we entered, Pastor Chao pointed out some workers with brown aprons. She explained that some patients underwent Occupational Therapy (OT) so the hospital pays them to do small tasks such as cleaning and vending. Our first stop was Clinic 3B, the ward for acute psych patients. Patients here were young to middle-aged. When we walked in, one man exclaims "You're LATE." Everybody begins automatically shuffling toward the center of the room. Some look at us distrustfully and lag behind. Pastor Chao notices a young man in the back who doesn't look very happy. She calls him by name and asks him what's wrong. He mutters something about the meds they are making him take and how they still won't release him. She smiles sunnily and says, "Well, let's sing some songs and turn that frown upside down". She then proceeds to lead them in a few worship songs. Some patients join in raucously while others are more reticent. Even though the workers occasionally point out a few patients, saying "Careful. He hits people.", I found myself gradually forgetting that I was in a mental ward. Most of the patients were almost child-like, clapping enthusiastically along with the music or loudly calling for the microphone. I found myself completely awed by Pastor Chao's positive energy and stalwartness. Even when a patient was two inches of her face ranting bitterly about how they won't let him out, her smile never wavered. She knows all the patients by name and treats them like people. God has given her a lot of love, that's for sure. She's my hero.

After our time in 3B, we head through two sets of locked glass sliding doors to 3E, the dementia ward. Most patients there were over 80. However, one young woman caught my eye. She looked no older than 45. As it turns out, she had been hit by a car and sustained a head injury that landed her in the psych ward. However, because of some remodeling, she was moved from 3B to 3E. When inquired as to how she's doing, she complained about how she has no company in 3E, everyone is at least twice her age. In 3E, they lock all the rooms and as a result the patients can't go back to rest during the day. Just today, when she had lost her temper and threw a cup at an orderly, she was cuffed to the bed. She told us proudly about how she looked straight at the camera and announced that if they didn't uncuff her, she'd knock the bed over and the nurses would have to take responsibility for any injuries she sustains. It is clear that the hospital is not perfect. However, Pastor Chao reassures the patient that the new ward will open no later than Friday and that there is definitely a room waiting for her there. Then, she offers to pray for her.

The other patients are nowhere as energetic. There was this one old lady in particular who was sleeping with her mouth agape in a wheelchair. When there was no immediate reaction to a gentle shaking, I thought, "OH DEAR GOD. SHE'S DEAD." Fortunately, she just can't open her eyes very wide. The best indication of her state of consciousness is her mouth: Open = asleep, Closed= awake. I was very relieved when I got the slow lipsmack of life. Despite Pastor Chao and the other volunteers' enthusiasm, a few of the patients were asleep. When gently shaken awake, they blink and smile slowly, as if unaware that they had drifted off. Another old lady walks up to me. I turn to her and ask her what's wrong. I hear a squeaking sound that I slowly deduce is the sound of her adult diaper chafing as she walks. However, she smiles at me and says, "My teeth are making strange sounds." She flexes her jaw and I hear the squeaking sound again. Before I can ask her if she needs any help, she walks off, squeaking all the way. Five minutes later, she comes back. "My teeth are making strange sounds." She starts to walk away before turning back, "Sounds like there's a demon in a mouth". She gives me a wrinkly smile before walking dreamily away again. Then, there was the case where I was casually groped by a patient. I was facing Pastor Chao, doing the exercises with her and smiling encouragingly at the patients. All of a sudden, I feel a hand pat my butt firmly three times. I'm like "What the?" Turn around, and no one's there. All I see is an old lady being pushed away on a wheelchair by a nurse. She doesn't even look back! Sneaky...very sneaky. Drive-by Cop-A-Feel.

Lunch was glorious. It's always Duan Wu Jie...it's the Chinese holiday where you eat Zong Zi...the nasty oil rice wrapped in bamboo leaves. You know? haha. It was also Nurse Appreciation Day so they prepared a massive feast for the hospital staff. Sadly, only 1/4 of the nurses showed up because they had to work. Even though I despise Zong Zi, I forced myself to eat one so as to avoid any questions along the lines of "WHAT? You don't eat ZONG ZI? Do they not have them in America?? Spoiled Americans...so picky." On the bright side, there were these fish that were caked with salt and baked. The fish were caught a week ago in the lake behind the hospital and then kept in the fountain at the front of the hospital to get rid of the dirt taste. When we arrived at the hospital in the morning, we saw a few men with buckets at the fountain. I was informed that they were "massaging" the fish. I thought, "Oh, how nice." Later at lunch, I connected the dots. OH THE HORROR. I was there at their final hour!! Still, truth be told, they were DELICIOUS. The meat was tender and the salt had really penetrated through the skin of the fish. Mmmm. There was also this steamed vegetable that was kind of like a stringier version of spinach. They had splashed on this red sauce that had little chunks of orange floating in it but tasted faintly of wasabi. I usually don't like vegetables, but this stuff was GOOD. Also, I think I'm starting to really like wasabi. The bamboo soup was very light and a pleasant close to the meal. The hospital also provided ice cold green tea. Pastor Chao swears it was sweetened (half-sweetened) but I did not detect a single grain of sugar in that bitter bitter mess. blegh. I then got a lecture about how young people today eat too much sugar so we lose our ability to taste. Oh Pastor Chao. She cracks me up.

Leaving the lunch room, I could hear faint sounds of someone methodically banging on the piano. Pastor Chao explained that one of the patients was in Music school but had suddenly lost the ability to read score as a result of her illness. Every day, for one hour, she would practice with the doctor who would accompany her on his [$2,000] recorder. (I KNOW. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY MADE THOSE THINGS SO EXPENSIVE. What the HELL is it made of? Gold??) Her playing fluctuates with her mood. When she's angry, her playing grows increasingly manic. The other pastor watched her play and sighs, "Such a shame."

In the afternoon, I followed Pastor Chao and her co-worker around, accompanying them on the guitar as they dance. The hospital is part of a program where they hope to collectively lose 1000kg before the end of July. There are hospital-wide Vegetarian days and many of the workers specially order salads for lunch. Twice a day, music comes on over the PA and everyone is ordered to dance, staff and patients alike. I must say, Pastor Chao enjoys herself perhaps a bit too much... haha. She's all like "Dance! Are you sweating? Are you out of breath? GOOD." Yesterday, I agreed to take part in the "Eat Salad for Lunch" campaign. Hopefully I won't regret this. If I come back missing an arm...I probably ate it.