First Steps in the Right Direction

I tried to write a blog yesterday to talk about how awesome the past two days of orientation were, but my thoughts were too jumbled in my head. How could I possibly convey this sense of excitement, positivity, optimism, and exuberance -- all sentiments usually stored in a dusty corner of my emotional repertoire. Now the first day of school has come and gone and I am still in disbelief that this is real. I'm at my dream school. And it's everything that I hoped and imagined it would be.

The purpose of orientations is really to set the tone for the rest of the program and UCSF blew it out of the water. Most orientations consist of 500 dry presentations about policies, program details, and technology broken up by icebreakers. Painful. Icebreakers. There were definitely still awkward icebreakers, but there wasn't a single passive moment. Instead, UCSF invited dozens of faculty members to volunteer their time and work with the first year medical students in small groups to discuss issues concerning diversity and bias. I was really struck by the fact that UCSF doesn't waste time (or money) on pomp and circumstance but instead hones in on real issues that plague our institutions. They are truly training us to become empathetic physicians who are firmly rooted in the communities we serve. In our small groups, we discussed difficult scenarios about racial discrimination and shared true stories of times we each had been hurt in the past. To learn more about our biases and perspectives, we talked about our backgrounds (our origin stories, if you will) and shit got real. Because of the heavy nature of the topics, we were able to dispense with small talk and really represent our genuine selves. I am so thankful that I have the privilege of attending a school that encourages discussions about controversial topics, a school that acknowledges that it doesn't exist in a void but instead bears a responsibility to the community to advocate for and model positive change. 

The conversations I had with my classmates over those two days has really affirmed that these are the people I want to learn and grow with over the next four years. There's a Chinese saying, "近朱者赤,近墨者黑", which roughly translates to "He who stays near vermillion is stained red, He who stays near ink is stained black." It's a fancy Chinese way of saying that you take on the "color" or characteristics of the company you keep. If you hang out with good people, you naturally start to adopt their good behavior, but conversely, if you hang out with bad people, you will start to take on aspects of their bad behavior. More simply put, you pick up the attitude, perspective, and behavior of the people you spend time with.

I think this past year, I picked up a lot of bad habits like having a poor attitude, assuming negative intent, and talking shit. These past few days have reminded me that's not who I am or who I aspire to be. Meeting these amazing UCSF physicians who are the best in their fields yet take time out of their busy schedule to invest in me and my fellow first-years has been transformative -- these are the role models I look up to, these are the physicians I strive to emulate.

I've said it before, but I can't stop thinking this to myself every day I'm here: I definitely made the right choice to come to UCSF. Don't get me wrong, going to Hopkins could also have helped me to become a good doctor, but I strongly believe that coming to UCSF will place me on the path to becoming a better person. 

It was a whirlwind of a first day. I've never felt this way about school before; It was always something that I had to do, not something I necessarily wanted to do. It feels like I've been eating the vegetables off the plate of life and now I've finally gotten to the best, meaty part that I've saved for last. And who knows, maybe afterwards, I'll have dessert!