I worry about a lot of things when I leave the house. First and foremost, the dogs. I miss my babies so much. ): But after seeing how suddenly Sebastian passed, I'm more and more concerned for Sonatina. I don't want another situation where the bad news is relayed over the phone and goodbyes are left unsaid. I also worry about who will keep the peace in the family when I'm gone. I don't have the best of tempers, but I have the worst of guilty consciences. I feel like this summer, after spending a week with Dad on his turf, I have a better understanding of my Dad as a person, and consequently, the problems that this family continues to stumble over. Still, in my absence, all I can do is pray and surrender all these problems to God.
It's like I've lost all concept of time. Last year passed by so quickly. In fact, it feels like just a few months ago when I boarded a plane to go to Baltimore for the first time, a pre-frosh looking for something outside of what she already knew. Now that I've seen what lies on the other side, I wish I were back here where home is. Still, I am constantly reassured that I am in the right place, that I have allowed myself to be led by God. The near and distant future are still blank to me right now -- the new concerns this semester will bring, what to do next summer, how to get into med school -- but I feel that each new obstacle that I tackle only brings me closer to God and one step closer to realizing His plan.
It feels like I've learned so much this summer and at the same time, nothing at all.
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